Monthly Archives: May 2012

“I’m Drawing a Line in the Fucking Sand Here. Do NOT Read The Latin.”

Posted on May 31, 2012 by

Well, I finally, finally went to see it. Cabin in the Woods was filmed in 2009. I’ve wanted to see Cabin in the Woods since I first heard about it . . . and yes, that was back in 2009. Can you blame me? … Continue reading →

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Coming Soon-Ish: Gatsby, Draco Malfoy, and Bond . . .

Posted on May 29, 2012 by

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted some trailers. I feel like we should begin with some fine literature. The Great Gatsby Let’s be honest: the only reason I have any interest in seeing this at all is because Baz … Continue reading →

Posted in COMING SOON-ISH | 2 Comments

“Well, Here, Lads. You’ve Discovered a Species Hitherto Unknown to Science, Quite Possibly Non-Terrestial in Origin, and You Kicked It’s Fuckin’ Head In.”

Posted on May 25, 2012 by

Taking a brief break from superhero movies—I realize the last six films I’ve reviewed have been The Incredible Hulk, The Avengers, and Batman through Batman & Robin—I thought I might try something a little bit different. I don’t know if it’s my favorite alien … Continue reading →

Posted in SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“Well, I Can Respect Your Opinion. Sadly, I’m Not Good at Rejection. I’m Afraid You’ll Have to Die.”

Posted on May 24, 2012 by

The worst thing about not being a professional movie critic is that it doesn’t matter how much time you spend working a review—you could write your little heart and soul out, bleed yourself dry, and you’re still not getting paid. … Continue reading →

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“I’M Batman!”

Posted on May 20, 2012 by

Well, Tim Burton had a vision of Gotham, and it was dark and gothic. Joel Schumacher, on the other hand? He saw it as a bit more colorful than that.

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Mentalist, You Make Me Sad . . .

Posted on May 19, 2012 by

. . . and not in the wow, you just did a really great depressing episode kind of way, more in the dammit, you’re making me question whether I really want to bother watching you anymore because you could be so much … Continue reading →

Posted in TV STUFF | 7 Comments

“I Am Catwoman. Hear Me Roar.”

Posted on May 17, 2012 by

The Avengers was awesome. This must be said. (And then repeated. And then possibly even sung.) But The Avengers is not the only gigantic superhero movie coming to a theater near you this summer. There’s a certain trilogy by Christopher Nolan that … Continue reading →

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So, This is What Joy Feels Like . . .

Posted on May 11, 2012 by

Community is renewed! Cougar Town finds an afterlife on TBS! Even Fringe is managing to get a final shortened season on Fox! Ladies and gentlemen, I am more than content. I am ecstatic. Giddy, even. Sadly, I do not have … Continue reading →

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“Love is for Children. I Owe Him a Debt.”

Posted on May 10, 2012 by

Per usual, 3D has come between me and my beloved midnight movies. I had planned to see this Thursday night with the rest of the geeks, but 3-D forced me to reevaluate those plans. Of course, the next day I … Continue reading →

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Coming Soon-Ish: The Worst Looking Trailer I Have Seen All Year . . .

Posted on May 7, 2012 by

I want to talk to you about The Avengers, but apparently there’s a lot I need to say, because I’m still working on the review. (I’m thinking it’ll be posted Wednesday, but we’ll see. It’s frustrating, how your actual job gets … Continue reading →

Posted in COMING SOON-ISH | 6 Comments