Category Archives: BLASPHEMIES

“There’s Something in the Fog!”

Posted on January 29, 2012 by

A couple of days ago, I realized, It’s going to be February next week, and I haven’t watched a single horror film yet. Shame on you, Carlie. Shame! After feeling shameful for a proper period of time, I looked on … Continue reading →

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

“It’s Become So Ugly . . .”

Posted on January 6, 2012 by

I don’t naturally gravitate towards spy movies. But ever since I saw the trailer for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, I was desperately curious about it. Ultimately, I was disappointed.

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | 9 Comments

“I Need Blood To Live.”

Posted on December 3, 2011 by

About six months ago, I watched the Swedish vampire film, Let the Right One In. A couple of weeks ago, I finally got around to watching its American remake, Let Me In. It’s an astonishingly good remake.

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS | 3 Comments

Impressive . . . Most Impressive . . .

Posted on August 30, 2011 by

Once again, I am forced to break a tie that I find very hard to break. Last week, I asked you who should play Darth Vader in my imaginary remake of Star Wars. Opinion was incredibly divided. Every actor who … Continue reading →

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, MONDAY MORNING BLASPHEMOUS POLL, SURVEYS | 1 Comment

It’s That Time Again . . .

Posted on August 22, 2011 by

The Adventure Has Been Cast Thus Far: Han Solo: Nathan Fillion Luke Skywalker: Anton Yelchin Princess Leia: Jewel Staite (Director: Guillermo del Toro) It’s only natural that we continue with quite possibly the hardest casting call ever: Darth Vader. NOTE: … Continue reading →

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, MONDAY MORNING BLASPHEMOUS POLL, SURVEYS | 6 Comments

“Look, Dave, I Can See You’re Really Upset About This.”

Posted on August 17, 2011 by

Well. I finally did it. . . . I think I want two and half hours of my life back.

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , | 37 Comments

I Present, the Skywalker Twins . . .

Posted on June 20, 2011 by

I asked you to cast the Skywalker Siblings, and you did. Your choice for Princess Leia? Jewel Staite! Considering that Nathan Fillion is playing Han, we appear to be having something of a Firefly reunion in this remake. Ooh, maybe Alan … Continue reading →

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The Two Most Important Choices You Will Ever Have To Make

Posted on June 13, 2011 by

All right, kids. Let’s get back to the blasphemy portion of the Monday Morning Blasphemous Poll. A few months ago—roughly—I asked you who should play Han Solo in a remake of Star Wars. You voted: Nathan Fillion. Then I asked … Continue reading →

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, MONDAY MORNING BLASPHEMOUS POLL, SURVEYS | 11 Comments

“Appy-polly-loggies!”

Posted on June 4, 2011 by

Remember how I said that Real Genius was one of the silliest, most enjoyable things I’ve watched all year? Well, apparently my subconscious wanted me to see the polar opposite of that movie, so I followed up Val Kilmer with this: … Continue reading →

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , | 22 Comments

I Could’ve Had a V8—A List of Unsatisfactory Movies

Posted on May 22, 2011 by

For those of you who didn’t watch Waiting to Exhale with your mom when you were ten years old, there’s a scene where one of the characters, Robin, is lying in bed after a very underwhelming performance by her lover, … Continue reading →

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, LISTS | 31 Comments