Tag Archives: Aliens

“While You Were Still Learning How to Spell Your Name, I Was Being Trained to Conquer Galaxies!”

Posted on February 27, 2013 by

All right, folks. The Day of Reckoning has come. Some of you may remember that I failed last year’s horror film challenge and, as a result, invited you to choose my punishment movie. You chose Battlefield Earth because you’re horrible monsters, … Continue reading →

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“This Is Probably the Best Movie Since Volcano!”

Posted on September 9, 2012 by

Well. It’s the beginning of September, and I feel pretty confident when I say that this is the weirdest fucking movie I have seen and will see all year. Actually, I enjoyed the hell out of it. I just don’t … Continue reading →

Posted in SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

“Well, Here, Lads. You’ve Discovered a Species Hitherto Unknown to Science, Quite Possibly Non-Terrestial in Origin, and You Kicked It’s Fuckin’ Head In.”

Posted on May 25, 2012 by

Taking a brief break from superhero movies—I realize the last six films I’ve reviewed have been The Incredible Hulk, The Avengers, and Batman through Batman & Robin—I thought I might try something a little bit different. I don’t know if it’s my favorite alien … Continue reading →

Posted in SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“Love is for Children. I Owe Him a Debt.”

Posted on May 10, 2012 by

Per usual, 3D has come between me and my beloved midnight movies. I had planned to see this Thursday night with the rest of the geeks, but 3-D forced me to reevaluate those plans. Of course, the next day I … Continue reading →

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

“Fuck Me, Freddy.”

Posted on March 21, 2012 by

As of last Tuesday, my friend Robyn had never seen the atrocity that is the movie Dreamcatcher. And since my sister and I had been meaning to watch it again for years now—just to see if it was quite as horrible … Continue reading →

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“I Don’t Know Much About Boats, But I Would Say That One’s Upside Down.”

Posted on October 20, 2011 by

Cowboys and Aliens has been out in theaters for awhile now, but I only just got around to seeing it last week. The verdict? Eh. It’s not nearly as awesome as I’d hoped.

Posted in SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“I Guess You’ve Noticed Something A Little Strange With Dad.”

Posted on March 3, 2011 by

While trying to decide which movie to go with next, I looked at my list and tried to juggle between Cheesy Action Sci Fi and Depressing, Dystopian Sci Fi. I ended up with Classic, Idealistic Sci Fi with Steven Spielberg’s Close … Continue reading →

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , | 11 Comments

The Virtues of Cowardice . . .

Posted on August 12, 2010 by

So, here we go: I watched Alien a few years ago, and I found it kind of boring. I liked Sigourney Weaver in it, of course. Ian Holm and Tom Skeritt were good. I found some of the scenes kind … Continue reading →

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments