Carlie (The Blasphemous Wench)
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Tag Archives: And Here I Thought All This Exposition Sounded So Natural
“I Am The Eater of Worlds . . . And of Children!”
Stephen King adaptations are, historically, not awesome. For every Stand by Me or The Shawshank Redemption, there is a Needful Things – or a Dreamcatcher – or a Children of the Corn – or a Lawnmower Man – or a Maximum Overdrive – or a Tommyknockers – or, hell, even a Haven. Which, hey, could be good, … Continue reading
Posted in SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS
Tagged Amnesia!, And Here I Thought All This Exposition Sounded So Natural, Asthma in Film, Awesome Villain Alert, Bad Horror, Books To Movies, Chemistry? What's Chemistry?, Clowns Are Scary, Editing Fail, Guilty Pleasures, Heart Knowledge!, Horror, Incompetent Cops, Stephen King, That's Not Snowflake, TIM CURRY, TV Miniseries, Writer Joe and Writer Susan
5 Comments
“We Might As Well Shoot Each Other Now And Get It Over With.”
I remember when Zombieland first came out, people were calling it America’s answer to Shaun of the Dead . . . as if Shaun of the Dead had been some kind of challenge, a war cry from England screaming, “Beat that, fuckers!” You … Continue reading
Posted in SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS
Tagged Action!, And Here I Thought All This Exposition Sounded So Natural, Asthma in Film, Bitchy Is Not The Same Thing As Strong, Books To Movies, Coming-Of-Age Movies, FORESHADOW, I Watch Foreign Movies So I Can Pretend I'm Cultured, Netflix Summary Fail!, Shut Up Writers!, The Pet is Doomed., The WIll to Kill, This Had Potential. It Just Failed., Voice-Over Fail
3 Comments
“Well, I Can Respect Your Opinion. Sadly, I’m Not Good at Rejection. I’m Afraid You’ll Have to Die.”
The worst thing about not being a professional movie critic is that it doesn’t matter how much time you spend working a review—you could write your little heart and soul out, bleed yourself dry, and you’re still not getting paid. … Continue reading
Posted in EPIC REVIEWS
Tagged Action!, Ahnold, And Here I Thought All This Exposition Sounded So Natural, Bad Sequels, Batman!, Brainwashing, Comic Book Movies, FORESHADOW, Incompetent Cops, Not Exactly Girl Power, superheroes, The Best Protagonists Have Dead Families, What Do You Mean No One Could Survive That Fall?, When Good Actors Go Bad, Yeah I'm Not Even Going To Try That Accent, You Are Not A Tough Girl
4 Comments
“Everyone Believes in Him A Little Bit, Even Guys Like You Who Pretend You Don’t.”
I remember the first time I heard about this movie. I was at Comic Con, watching Trailer Frenzy, when a preview for Devil started. At first, everyone seemed to be into it—more than they were into cutesy crap like Alpha and … Continue reading
