Tag Archives: Less Like A Plot Hole. More Like A Plot Canyon.

“I Don’t Think You Understand. I Marched Against the NRA.”

You ever stick with something for so long that, even though it’s sucked for years, you feel compelled to continue with it until the bitter end, just to see how it all turns out? Yeah. Try to ignore that compulsion. … Continue reading

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“While You Were Still Learning How to Spell Your Name, I Was Being Trained to Conquer Galaxies!”

All right, folks. The Day of Reckoning has come. Some of you may remember that I failed last year’s horror film challenge and, as a result, invited you to choose my punishment movie. You chose Battlefield Earth because you’re horrible monsters, … Continue reading

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“It Must Feel Like Your God Abandoned You.”

Just before I went to Clarion West last summer, a little movie called Prometheus came out. Some of my fellow classmates went to see this movie that first weekend, while I skipped out — I was tired and, frankly, I’ve never … Continue reading

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“Well, I Don’t See How A Thing Like Cricket Can Make You Forget Seeing People.”

For belated Thanksgiving, my family and I did the usual stuff — ate turkey, gave thanks, talked incessantly about my continued lack of a boyfriend — as well as more fun stuff, like watching old Alfred Hitchcock movies. It’s a … Continue reading

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“Suzy, What Do You Know About . . . Witches?”

Last week, I was a horror movie nut who had gone her whole life without seeing a Dario Argento film. No longer, my friends. No longer.

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“EMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILY!”

Splatterfest did not exactly go off without a hitch this year. There were sick cats to contend with, early morning work that could not be ignored, friends who didn’t show up, pizza places who failed to give us the chocolate ice cream … Continue reading

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“I Don’t Like It Here.”

Here’s the thing: when you go to see a scary movie in theater, you expect it to be, you know, scary. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark certainly isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen in theater. But as a horror … Continue reading

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