Tag Archives: When Good Actors Go Bad

“I’m Your Huckleberry.”

Posted on May 22, 2013 by

Oh, this movie. I watched Wyatt Earp a few years ago — I don’t even remember why — and I read Emma Bull’s Territory last year, so I figured I might as well add Tombstone to the list of westerns-to-watch this year. You … Continue reading →

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“Just Fix My Body . . . And Leave My Soul to Me.”

Posted on March 25, 2013 by

Sometimes, I’m lazy. Okay, often I’m lazy. And when my sister watches a movie without me — especially when it’s one I have no interest in at all — I’m like, hey, why don’t you write a review of that? … Continue reading →

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“You Can’t Have My Heart.”

Posted on March 6, 2013 by

After the, ah, experience that was Batman & Robin, my friends and I went looking for a new drinking game movie. The final pick? It wasn’t quite as bad as I was expecting, probably because I’m still fresh off Battlefield Earth. But that … Continue reading →

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“While You Were Still Learning How to Spell Your Name, I Was Being Trained to Conquer Galaxies!”

Posted on February 27, 2013 by

All right, folks. The Day of Reckoning has come. Some of you may remember that I failed last year’s horror film challenge and, as a result, invited you to choose my punishment movie. You chose Battlefield Earth because you’re horrible monsters, … Continue reading →

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“Don’t You Just Love Happy Endings?”

Posted on February 14, 2013 by

A while ago, my friend Rob got his hands on a huge stack of absolutely terrible horror movies and, knowing our passion for such films, sent the entire collection to my sister and I because Rob is, quite truly, the … Continue reading →

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“EMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILY!”

Posted on October 21, 2012 by

Splatterfest did not exactly go off without a hitch this year. There were sick cats to contend with, early morning work that could not be ignored, friends who didn’t show up, pizza places who failed to give us the chocolate ice cream … Continue reading →

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“Well, I Can Respect Your Opinion. Sadly, I’m Not Good at Rejection. I’m Afraid You’ll Have to Die.”

Posted on May 24, 2012 by

The worst thing about not being a professional movie critic is that it doesn’t matter how much time you spend working a review—you could write your little heart and soul out, bleed yourself dry, and you’re still not getting paid. … Continue reading →

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“Fuck Me, Freddy.”

Posted on March 21, 2012 by

As of last Tuesday, my friend Robyn had never seen the atrocity that is the movie Dreamcatcher. And since my sister and I had been meaning to watch it again for years now—just to see if it was quite as horrible … Continue reading →

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“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”

Posted on December 30, 2011 by

Sarcasm does come with its downsides. Last week, while gently mocking the trailer for Wrath of the Titans, I mentioned that I would likely never watch the movie, as I’d never bothered to see the first one. The very next … Continue reading →

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