Tag Archives: You Are Not A Tough Girl

“Just Fix My Body . . . And Leave My Soul to Me.”

Posted on March 25, 2013 by

Sometimes, I’m lazy. Okay, often I’m lazy. And when my sister watches a movie without me — especially when it’s one I have no interest in at all — I’m like, hey, why don’t you write a review of that? … Continue reading →

Posted in BABY REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“I Don’t Think You Understand. I Marched Against the NRA.”

Posted on March 18, 2013 by

You ever stick with something for so long that, even though it’s sucked for years, you feel compelled to continue with it until the bitter end, just to see how it all turns out? Yeah. Try to ignore that compulsion. … Continue reading →

Posted in SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“While You Were Still Learning How to Spell Your Name, I Was Being Trained to Conquer Galaxies!”

Posted on February 27, 2013 by

All right, folks. The Day of Reckoning has come. Some of you may remember that I failed last year’s horror film challenge and, as a result, invited you to choose my punishment movie. You chose Battlefield Earth because you’re horrible monsters, … Continue reading →

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“Well, I Can Respect Your Opinion. Sadly, I’m Not Good at Rejection. I’m Afraid You’ll Have to Die.”

Posted on May 24, 2012 by

The worst thing about not being a professional movie critic is that it doesn’t matter how much time you spend working a review—you could write your little heart and soul out, bleed yourself dry, and you’re still not getting paid. … Continue reading →

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“Arrogance Is Not a Uniquely American Trait, But You Do It Better Than Most.”

Posted on September 24, 2011 by

I finally saw Captain America: The First Avenger last week. I’ve never been a gigantic Captain America fan, so I really didn’t think I had any expectations going in. And yet, somehow, I still managed to find it disappointing.

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Are You Scared? Was I Supposed to Be?

Posted on September 2, 2011 by

It’s been awhile since I’ve watched a clearly horrible horror movie solely in order to mock it. Yes. This fit the bill.

Posted in SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , | 2 Comments