“Family Was Always An F-Word For Me.”

My Most Anticipated Movie of 2018 was not Infinity War. It wasn’t Solo: A Star Wars Story. It certainly wasn’t that terrible looking remake of Overboard. No, the movie I wanted to see, more than anything, was Deadpool 2.

Now that I’ve seen it? Well, it was fun to watch. I enjoyed it for the most part. But one disappointment, in particular, kept me from loving the film.

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“I Feel Strange Sharing A Childhood Story Considering I Was Never A Child.”

Somewhat recently, The Dark ran a successful Kickstarter campaign that not only secured funding for two more years, but also raised their pay rates from .03 to .06 cents a word, making them a pro-paying magazine. This is awesome news because The Dark is a fantastic magazine publishing awesome work you should definitely check out, but I’m mostly bringing it up now because I–with a lack of cool crafty skills or, honestly, much else to offer–once again volunteered a movie review or pop culture essay as one of the possible Kickstarter rewards. Alas, there really is only one person out there who has both the interest and the means to purchase these reviews.

And that person, once again, is Tom.

Tom, the fiend, spent a good twenty minutes gleefully telling me about all the movies he almost made me watch. Honestly, I was kinda hoping he’d land on Cannonball Run II, mostly because I’ve never seen the first one and I thought that could be pretty funny. Finally, however, he told it to me straight: of all the horrible films he could’ve chosen, Tom actually picked a movie he thought I would like and was shocked I hadn’t seen yet: Blade Runner 2049.

And I was grateful for that . . . until I saw the run time was 2 hours and 44 minutes long.

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“Bruce, You’re Embarrassing Me In Front of Wizards.”

Okay, folks. Nearly a week after everyone else, I have finally seen Infinity War.

Most people loved it. Some people really didn’t. And I’m pretty much right where I expected to be: firmly in the middle. Try and contain your shock.

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“I Miss The Days When One’s Biggest Concern Was Exploding Wind-Up Penguins.”

Well. I finally saw it. I FINALLY watched Justice League.

Man. That was a “meh” movie if I ever saw one.

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World’s Worst Trekkie: Carlie Takes on “The Corbomite Maneuver”

I’ve been having a great time watching TOS with my sister, but I’ve also been a tiny bit disappointed that, overall, my reactions to most episodes have been somewhere between “meh” and “NO.” Not exactly shocked, mind; I know what a critical bastard I am, but still: I’m a nerd, and nerds are made for liking things. Going into this episode, I was really hoping to have more of a “hell yeah” reaction.

Luckily for me, “The Corbomite Maneuver” is easily my favorite episode since “The Naked Time.”

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World’s Worst Trekkie: Carlie Takes on “Dagger of the Mind”

Good morning, all. Today is my sister’s birthday, and really, what better gift can one give than the snarky over-analyzation of a beloved science fiction classic? In today’s episode of TOS, we have it all: a sexy psychologist, the first Vulcan mind meld, a boatload of unethical psychiatry, and a weird dude in a box.

Never let it be said I don’t know how to give bomb ass gifts, people. Continue reading

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World’s Worst Trekkie: Carlie Takes on “Miri”

I’ll talk more about this when I get to “City on the Edge of Forever,” I’m sure, but I’ve found that TOS sometimes starts an episode seemingly heading in one direction, only to rapidly change course and end up somewhere wildly different. Case in point: “Miri,” an episode that, on first glance, appears to be about the mystery of a duplicate Earth, until TOS is like, nah, we don’t really feel like solving that particular storyline; how about we do Kirk vs The Lost Boys instead, with, like, a weird epidemic and some quasi-immortality thrown in?

It’s just another standard mission for the USS: Enterprise.

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