So here I am, hanging on my couch, eating my bagel, and watching The Stand on the sci fi channel (ugh, fine, SYFY channel). Unlike most people in the universe, I actually like the miniseries, despite some serious flaws (the casting of Molly Ringwald, for example.) I am now going to commentate a little, so feel free to skip if you haven’t seen or read The Stand.

1.) Watching Harold talk about getting his terrible poem published in a small, prestigious literary journal is a lot harder to watch than it used to be. Before it was all, “Ha, ha, you geek!” and now it’s like, “Shit, I’m in the same boat.” I do NOT want to be in the same boat as Harold Lauder. I don’t even want to be in the same OCEAN as Harold Lauder.

2.) Gary Sinise + White T-Shirt= Hot. Actually, just Any Decent Looking Man + Fitted White T-Shirt = Hot. Other, notable examples: Jeffrey Donovan, Michael T. Weiss, Matt Bomer. Well. Matt Bomer’s ridiculously pretty. You could probably dress him up in a chicken suit, and he’d still be hot.

3.) Of all the changes that they make from book to movie, the one that makes me laugh the most is Fran’s mom. It’s such a tiny thing too. In the miniseries, they introduce Fran and her father, and her dad talks wistfully about Fran’s dear, departed mum. But if memory serves, Fran’s mom was alive and well in the book, and she was a BITCH. Easier to get rid of her, I guess.

4.) Rob Lowe is not exactly what I think of when I imagine Nick. Nevertheless, I like him. I think he’s one of the best parts in the miniseries. His ‘excuse me’ face when the Sheriff asks him how the hell he’s going to get answers if Nick is deaf? Priceless.

5.) People were apparently scared of clowns after watching It. I didn’t watch It until I was about 13, so that didn’t happen for me . . . although Tim Curry, love! But you know what does kind of creep me out? Crows. I walk down the street and see a crow on a telephone wire, and secretly, I think, Randall Flagg is watching me.

That’s all for now. Maybe someday I’ll do a proper commentary. Shit. It’d have to be at least 80 pages long. Bah.