This isn’t like hot off the press or anything, but I just had to express my sheer, unadulterated delight that Hollywood is making Battleship the game into Battleship the movie, and with this cast, no less: Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood) Taylor Kitsch (Friday Night Lights, X-Men Origins: Wolverine), Tom Arnold (True Lies), Brooklyn Decker (some fashion model with a few guest spots on Chuck and Royal Pains), Rihanna (who has even less reason to be in the film than Brooklyn Decker), and, finally, Liam Freaking Neeson (any movie with a mentor/father/father-figure; also, Schindler’s List.)
In other words: a vampire, a mutant, Rihanna, a model, and a Jedi Knight all walk into a submarine . . .
Cue epic win and epic fail, all at the same, glorious time.
You may say this signals the end of the world (and considering this is scheduled to come out in 2012, you may be right.) You may say that basing a movie off of a board game like Battleship is just the stupidest damn thing you’ve ever heard. You may say that movies used to have substance and, furthermore, you’re losing faith in all of humankind.
I say . . . it’s time for the pizza and the mockery, baby.