Week One Winners! And Week Two Match-Ups!

All right, kids. The votes are in, and I have your winners for Week 1 of the Geek Playoffs.

Data versus Tallahassee . . . DATA!!!

Easily one of the closest battles the entire week, Data barely edges out Tallahassee. It’s an epic fight, and Tallahassee uses every weapon from a banjo to a chainsaw to a commode stacked full of dynamite . . . but the android still manages to take our boy zombie slayer out.

But how does our girl zombie slayer fare?

Selena Vs. Scott Pilgrim . . . SELENA!

While Scott Pilgrim is busy fumbling around, trying to sound cool or breaking the hearts of high school girls, Selena is taking her machete and chopping off Scott Pilgrim’s head. Sorry, Scott. Selena’s too much of a badass for you.

Spike Versus Sailor Moon . . . SPIKE!

Sailor Moon only got one vote, and that was by someone who had never seen Cowboy Bebop before. As Sailor Moon giggles over how cute Spike is, Spike ties Sailor Moon up by her giant pigtails and shoots her without bothering to look.

Claudia vs Dean Winchester . . . DEAN!!!

Claudia may be ridiculously smart, but Dean’s a badass who’s killed angels. And these aren’t your fuzzy Touched By An Angel messengers of God. When Claudia’s artifact stops working properly (as, frankly, they are wont to do) Dean Winchester goes in for the kill. Goodbye, my Techno Wonder!

Hit Girl Vs. Trinity . . . HIT GIRL!

Trinity tried to make a last minute comeback, but at the end, it was Hit Girl standing on top. Outside of the Matrix, Trinity wasn’t a match for the world’s tiniest vigilante.

Gogo vs. Hermione . . . HERMIONE!

Gogo started out okay, but after a few days, Hermione’s spell work started crushing the competition. When Gogo tried to throw her little spiked ball of doom, Hermione froze it in mid-motion . . . and it all went downhill from there.

Scorpius vs. Starbuck . . . STARBUCK!

The closest fight of the week, Starbuck made a very surprising comeback and beat out Scorpius by only one vote. While Scorpius wasted time trying to frell around with her brain, Starbuck fracked him over with a few shots to the head.

And finally . . .

John McClane Vs. Westley . . . MCCLANE!!

No real surprise here. McClane annihilated poor Westley. The Dread Pirate Roberts had time for one clever quip, and then was quickly riddled with a bullets from a machine gun. Yippee-ki-yay, Dread Pirate Westley!

Congratulations, winners. Now it’s back in the fray.


1. Data vs Selena! (The android takes on the other zombie slayer. Interesting . . .)

2. Spike vs. Dean! (A bounty hunter versus a demon hunter. Hmmmm.)

3. Hit Girl vs. Hermione! (The superhero takes on the witch. )

4. Starbuck vs. John McClane! (Can our fighter pilot take down the most badass NYC cop?)

Again, there’s one week to vote. Your nominations are due by Tuesday, February 1st, 11:59 pm. Can’t wait to see who wins this time : )

14 thoughts on “Week One Winners! And Week Two Match-Ups!

  1. 1. Selena, because her machete rules and she is intelligent enough to find Datas off-switch
    2. Dean, I mean he was in hell and everything… no further explanation needed
    3. Hit Girl is much more ruthless and therefor breaks Hermiones wand into two halfs while Hermione tries to figure out if she is willing to kill a little girl, Hit Girl wins!
    4. McClane can bring down a helicopter singlehanded so Starbuck stands no chance

  2. 1. Data. Selena’s machete isn’t going to be much use against him. But she’s badass enough to make him work for it.
    2. Spike. He’s got finesse. Besides, Dean is too much of a pretty boy for me to consider him a credible threat.
    3. Hermione. It’s a tough one to call, because if Hit Girl got within striking distance, Hermione would be dead before she could blink. But if it’s guns against wands, I have to go with the girl who has a variety of offensive and defensive spells at her disposal. Also, I think Hermione would perform better with an audience judging her every move, and the boys would definitely gather to see two cute teenage girls in school uniforms going at it.
    4. John McClane. You couldn’t pay me enough to care about Battlestar Galactica, but going by the list, Starbuck doesn’t strike me as a winner. Brawler vs. brawler, resourceful comes out ahead. Fighter pilot vs. “can take a helicopter down with a gun”? There’s no contest.
    (By the way, the fight I’d really like to see is Hit Girl vs. Gogo.)

  3. Data

    i’m going to say right now that nobody but Data could probably take down Herione, it’s magic for crying out loud!

  4. 1. Selena 😀
    2. Spike
    3. Hit Girl (although honestly I may be undervaluing Hermione’s power, considering I’ve never read HP or seen the movies)
    4. McClane

  5. 1. Selena with a machete. Yeah, Data’s gonna be ready for the junkyard soon. Selena wins.
    2. While not totally familiar with Cowboy Bebop I’ve seen enough episodes to know that Spike can do some pretty damn impressive stunts when he needs to. I’m not convinced from my similarly limited knowledge of Supernatural that Dean can match that. It’s an energetic and epic fight, but in the end Spike gets the better of Dean. Spike wins.
    3. Having established that Hit-Girl can do the Matrix, I think she could pretty easily dodge the kinds of spells that we generally see from Hermoine and co. (Heck, even without Matrix skills I’d say she’s plenty agile enough for the task.) With the firepower we’ve seen her use (not to mention her use of initiative) I think Hit Girl kicks Hermoine’s backside. Hit Girl wins.
    4. Starbuck and McClane are both somewhat emotionally damaged, but I think Starbuck is probably likely to be the most ruthless. (And if anyone wants to argue that McClane can survive anything, I think Starbuck has the right to come back with her immortality too. But tbh using either of these arguments seems like cheating to me.) Starbuck shoots McClane and then grabs a metal pipe and beats the sh** out of him – oh, and Starbuck wins too.

    the boys would definitely gather to see two cute teenage girls in school uniforms going at it

    Ahem! Hit Girl is 12!!! What is wrong with you dammit?
    I’d say Hermoine similarly seems like jailbait, but I think she’s a far more reasonable age in the latest movie(s?).

  6. 1. DATA

    I mean, you’re kidding, right? Let’s start with the obvious “Data would never let her get close enough to USE the machete in the first place” angle. Phaser Set To Vaporize, meet…Random Crazy Girl With Bladed Weapon.

    But let’s go even further and say that, for some completely impossible reason, she manages to get into melee range. Data, with his reflexes that dwarf any living species, grabs the machete, mid-swing, and breaks it in half with his hand without breaking what Androids consider “a sweat”.

    Selena will win on the popular vote. But don’t fool yourselves for one second thinking she’d actually WIN this fight. It’s science, bitches.

    2. Spike

    Dean doesn’t impress me, that nancy-boy. Spike wins this fight sitting down.

    3. Hermione

    This is not even close to a tough call. Everyone saying Hit Girl is either insane, or waaaay to into 12 year old murderer-psychos. Allow me to end this fight with one VERY obvious word:


    Battle over. Hit Girl won’t be able to remember how to tie her shoes, let alone how to kick ass. And don’t tell me Hermione wouldn’t do it, because she’s DONE IT before. More than once.

    4. John “Bruce Willis” McClane

    Yippie kay yay, bitch.

  7. Ahem! Hit Girl is 12!!! What is wrong with you dammit?

    I think you mean, “What’s wrong with in-universe high school boys eager to ‘wait for her'” or maybe, “What’s wrong with Mark Millar?”

    • I think you mean, “What’s wrong with in-universe high school boys eager to ‘wait for her’” or maybe, “What’s wrong with Mark Millar?”

      Fair enough, them too.

  8. (1) Data
    (2) Dean (that’s for you, Car)
    (3) Hermione
    (4) Starbuck

    Come ON people! Vote for Starbuck. She is way WAY more badass than McClane.

  9. 1. Lieutenant Commander Data. – If Spock admires, who the hell it’s me to say anything?
    2. Spike. – I’ve had enough of Winchester’s.
    3. Hermione. – That was hard. But at the end, Hermione’s intelligence along with her powers, it’s best.
    4. John McClane. – Seriously? I do not even have to think.

  10. 1 – Data, because it might not be logical to fight a zombie attack survivor, he’s not letting anyone disassemble him.

    2 – Dean, because Spike’s only really been beat down twice (maybe one and a half), and he’s just not used to taking the punishment, while Dean has took the worst anyone has to offer every week for years.

    3 – Hermoine – again, she’s too smart to fight Hit Girl in an enclosed area.

    4 – John McClane, because if he can’t shoot you, then he’ll cook you and eat you!

  11. Pingback: Reminder: Vote for Your Champions, or Watch Them be Slaughtered! | My Geek Blasphemy

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