All right, kids. The votes are in, and I have your winners for Week 1 of the Geek Playoffs.
Data versus Tallahassee . . . DATA!!!
Easily one of the closest battles the entire week, Data barely edges out Tallahassee. It’s an epic fight, and Tallahassee uses every weapon from a banjo to a chainsaw to a commode stacked full of dynamite . . . but the android still manages to take our boy zombie slayer out.
But how does our girl zombie slayer fare?
Selena Vs. Scott Pilgrim . . . SELENA!
While Scott Pilgrim is busy fumbling around, trying to sound cool or breaking the hearts of high school girls, Selena is taking her machete and chopping off Scott Pilgrim’s head. Sorry, Scott. Selena’s too much of a badass for you.
Spike Versus Sailor Moon . . . SPIKE!
Sailor Moon only got one vote, and that was by someone who had never seen Cowboy Bebop before. As Sailor Moon giggles over how cute Spike is, Spike ties Sailor Moon up by her giant pigtails and shoots her without bothering to look.
Claudia vs Dean Winchester . . . DEAN!!!
Claudia may be ridiculously smart, but Dean’s a badass who’s killed angels. And these aren’t your fuzzy Touched By An Angel messengers of God. When Claudia’s artifact stops working properly (as, frankly, they are wont to do) Dean Winchester goes in for the kill. Goodbye, my Techno Wonder!
Hit Girl Vs. Trinity . . . HIT GIRL!
Trinity tried to make a last minute comeback, but at the end, it was Hit Girl standing on top. Outside of the Matrix, Trinity wasn’t a match for the world’s tiniest vigilante.
Gogo vs. Hermione . . . HERMIONE!
Gogo started out okay, but after a few days, Hermione’s spell work started crushing the competition. When Gogo tried to throw her little spiked ball of doom, Hermione froze it in mid-motion . . . and it all went downhill from there.
Scorpius vs. Starbuck . . . STARBUCK!
The closest fight of the week, Starbuck made a very surprising comeback and beat out Scorpius by only one vote. While Scorpius wasted time trying to frell around with her brain, Starbuck fracked him over with a few shots to the head.
And finally . . .
John McClane Vs. Westley . . . MCCLANE!!
No real surprise here. McClane annihilated poor Westley. The Dread Pirate Roberts had time for one clever quip, and then was quickly riddled with a bullets from a machine gun. Yippee-ki-yay, Dread Pirate Westley!
Congratulations, winners. Now it’s back in the fray.
WEEK 2 MATCHES!!!
1. Data vs Selena! (The android takes on the other zombie slayer. Interesting . . .)
2. Spike vs. Dean! (A bounty hunter versus a demon hunter. Hmmmm.)
3. Hit Girl vs. Hermione! (The superhero takes on the witch. )
4. Starbuck vs. John McClane! (Can our fighter pilot take down the most badass NYC cop?)
Again, there’s one week to vote. Your nominations are due by Tuesday, February 1st, 11:59 pm. Can’t wait to see who wins this time : )