Uh, hold the phone. Replace me? REPLACE GEORGE LUCAS THE MIGHTY?! Inconceivable!
I thought maybe I’d back off the Star Wars remake questions for awhile . . . just to give the non Star Wars fans that read this blog something to vote on . . . but then fatpie42 posited a very interesting poll question, and I had to try it out.
So . . .
As always, there is one week to vote, and in the case of a tie, my vote will serve as the tie-breaker. This hasn’t happened yet, but I eagerly await the first opportunity to use my godlike powers and pick a victor. Bwahahahaha! Glory shall be mine.
Oh, also, I’ll post the results from last week’s poll later tonight. More importantly, glory!
My Geek Blasphemy 
Lucas himself has always been the weak link. Often-stated proof of this: Empire Strikes Back is the best film of the franchise, and the one he wrote but didn’t direct. The man should stick with concept, story arc, creature design, and special effects, where he excels, and give up on directing actors, which he’s terrible at. Maybe we’ll let him story-board the action sequences.
You left out what I think would be the best choice: Peter Jackson.
I don’t disagree with any particular point on Lucas. Frankly, I’m disinclined to let him anywhere near the remake. Maybe the special effects.
I didn’t pick Peter Jackson because I thought he was the most obvious choice and the one that would be an easy win. Plus, his films don’t all scream PETER JACKSON at the top of their lungs, whereas most of the films by Tarantino, Burton, Anderson, etc, etc are so very obviously made by them. Guillermo del Toro’s Star Wars would have Guillermo del Toro aliens. Wes Anderson’s Star Wars would have an introduction of characters. Honestly, I don’t know that I would want ANY of these directors to do Star Wars but I do so love to ask “If you HAD to” questions.
Oh man, can we just have each of them remake Star Wars and then have a collection of remakes in all those styles? I want them all! I think Guillermo would do the best job, but the David Lynch one would be SO AWESOMELY WEIRD, and the Wes Anderson so awkward! Just picturing the “Luke, I am your father” scene Wes Anderson style makes me cringe.
That actually would be awesome to see. I just about died trying to picture the Wes Anderson, “Luke, I am your father,” scene. I think Luke Wilson would definitely have to play Luke then. Either that, or Owen Wilson as Darth Vader. “You know, man, I’m your father. Yeah.”
David Lynch can have the incest kiss. And Tarantino can have the Princess Leia in a bikini scene. That whole segment with Jabba, actually, especially when she kills him. I would pay good money to see that.
Toss up between Quentin Tarantino and Zack Snyder and in the end I go with Tarantino. Provided, of course, he doesn’t insert himself in the movie. I loved the original Star Wars to PIECES, Empire was also good, but by the time Return of the Jedi came out, it was like I grew up and the movies didn’t grow up with me. It took me a long time after Phantom Menace to admit that I HATED it and hated the sequel and never bothered to see the last one.
I never got around to seeing Revenge of the Sith, either. I know I need to . . . I already know half the stuff that happens in it, so surely that must soften the blow, right? . . . but every time I try to remind myself that I should probably watch the last (third?) film in the series, even if it sucks, I think of all the awful “romantic” dialogue between Padme and Anakin in Attack of the Clones and I just can’t make myself do it.