The Best And The Worst of Stephen King Movies . . .

I must say, I’m a little surprised by the results of the polls this week. First, let’s begin with the Best Stephen King Adaptation:

Stand by Me!

For most of the week, the competition seemed fierce between The Shawshank Redemption and Carrie, and I had a sneaking suspicion that by the end of it, I’d be hunting around for a good picture of Mr. Andy Dufresne. However, over the weekend, Stand By Me made a stunning comeback . . . stunning not because it was undeserved but because it was in a relatively distant fourth place at the time.

So Shawshank took a very close silver, Carrie took bronze, The Shining took . . . I don’t know, copper??? . . . and everyone else got a thanks for playing, folks, but you’ve got nothing on Rob Reiner, so sayonara, bitches. (Especially The Dead Zone, The Green Mile, and Pet Sematary, none of which got any votes at all.)

Now, for the Worst Stephen King Adaptation Award . . .

The Lawnmower Man!

I have never seen The Lawnmower Man or read the short story that it’s based on, but despite its horrible 90’s graphics—and, admittedly, they are pretty atrocious—I didn’t think this one would take gold, not over the travesty that is Dreamcatcher. But gold it took—conquered, even—relegating Dreamcatcher to silver and Children of the Corn to bronze.

To my immense surprise, Maximum Overdrive—which makes EVERYONE’S top ten worst list—didn’t get a single vote, perhaps because it is so gloriously cheesy and awful that people like it despite themselves? I don’t know. I haven’t seen it yet, but it’s free on Comcast right now, so I may be watching it very soon.

In conclusion: thumbs down, Jeff Fahey, but thumbs up Wesley Crusher!

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6 Responses to The Best And The Worst of Stephen King Movies . . .

  1. Kat says:

    I can’t vote for Dreamcatcher as the worst because it makes me laugh so damn hard. The return of the space herpy from Ice Pirates is awesome! 😀

    • I’ll have to watch it again so I can mock it . . . a LOT . . . for a review. But even though the book has some problems, I enjoyed reading it, and when it came out, I was sort of looking forward to the movie. Clearly, this was back in my idealistic stage. Thank God that’s over.

  2. Fatpie42 says:

    Lawnmower Man’s biggest problem is not it’s awful graphics. (To be quite honest, that probably the best feature of the movie.) The problem is EVERYTHING ELSE. How did they get such an awful performance out of Pierce Brosnan? How???

    This is the last 10 minutes of the movie. It’s also the best part of the movie. (If you think you are missing anything plotwise, just read the synopsis. If you still think you are missing something, you’re wrong.)

  3. Jim King says:

    The graphics were considered impressive back then, supremely crappy though they look now. They probably were the big selling point, even from the point of pitching it to the studio. It’s no wonder the writing and acting sucked. (To be honest I don’t really see how Brosnan’s performance in his other movies is much better. Olivier he ain’t.)

  4. Jim King says:

    Jobe giving away his comics to that kid kind of bugged me though.

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