Horror movies are fun . . . unless you’re a character in one of them, of course. Then, you’re probably not having as a good of a time.
Yeah, let's see you think gracefully under pressure, okay?
Today will be a very bad hypothetical day for you.
I have two polls for you today, a best and a worst case scenario. You may want to look at both polls before making up your mind on either.
And of course, if that poll is about which horror movie you’d MOST want to be in . . .
Both polls will be up one week. I’ll post results on October 24th.
My Geek Blasphemy 
What? No love for the series that essentially created the 80’s slasher genre as we know it? Friday the 13th?
(Yes, it stole from Halloween…but the original Halloween is much more of a Hitchcockian suspense film. Friday took that and just decided “Hell with all that subtlety, let’s punch it into overdrive!”…and the following Halloween sequels then started to pattern themselves after that)
All that said, the choices here seem pretty clear-cut to me.
Michael Myers is the easiest to deal with. All you have to be is A: Not Family, B: Not in his WAY while he’s trying to kill family, and C: Not in his goddamn HOUSE
Myers, beginning with the 2nd installment, has pretty much no interest in average folk. His kill counts are never all that high because he focuses his rage on family members and, sometimes, their friends (but only really when they get in the way like a bunch of idiots). The series is full of moments where you’re absolutely SURE he’s about to murder someone but doesn’t, because he just can’t be bothered to put out the effort on someone who isn’t screwing with him. He’s kind of like the Borg, now that I think about it.
Nightmare on Elm Street is the worst here. You fall asleep, you die. The end.
I voted for Nightmare on Elm Street as what I’d most like to be in. I’m a lucid dreamer, and a superhero in my dreams, so I’m pretty sure I could hold my own against Freddy even if I did fall asleep. In any case, I’d rather try my chances with him than any of the others.
Same here. Plus, even though I realize Freddy is scary, I’ve dreamed about him plenty of times and we always just ended up hanging out. Presumably if I were in a movie, those dreams would be reality.
This is a fun poll.
28 Days Later is the easy choice for me in the first poll. I’ve often thought about how fun a zombie apocalypse would be. Of course, I was fantasizing about slow, staggering zombies that I could easily outrun. Fast zombies are much more terrifying. I wouldn’t mind if a large percentage of the population was wiped out, though, since I generally try to avoid human interactions as much as possible. Plus I live out in the country, so it’d be much easier to survive here than in a crowded city. I’d just gather a shitload of weapons (not too hard to find with all the rednecks around here), find a nice secluded house somewhere, build a fortress around it, plant a garden, etc. My runner-up choice would be Halloween, just since Mike Myers won’t make me suffer as much as the others.
Saw is my choice for the second poll. I know there’s a chance to escape, but to do so would require a shitload of pain, and I don’t like pain. At least in the other movies I can still run like hell since I’m not automatically captured. I think I could outsmart a family of inbred hillbillies, and Leatherface runs pretty slow. Nightmare on Elm Street would be my second choice for the movie I’d least want to be in, since sleep is inevitable.
I reckoned I’d view at as “which would be the worst way to die?” I reckoned that Michael is a pretty efficient killer and part of that is that many of victims simply don’t see him coming. Stab, dead. End of story.
What’s much worse is 28 days later where even close friends and family will hunt you if they are infected. Where you have to live an isolated life barely able to trust anyone and knowing that civillisation has collapsed around you. And if they catch you, you’ll have a long time as a violent rage monster puking blood to look forward to. Ewww.