Nobody Likes a Reverse Bear Trap . . .

Nobody really wants to be in a horror movie. But if you had to be stuck in one of them?

I suspect that many of you picked this option just because you want to know if you could make it through a zombie apocalypse alive. After all, isn’t apocalypse talk the best? I could spend whole hours talking with my sister about what we would do in the case of zombies, where to get supplies, if we should even bother fortifying the apartment, what public building would make for the best camp, where the nearest gun store is, etc. Always know where the nearest gun store is. And, for the love of God, don’t go anywhere near a church.

If zombie apocalypse wasn’t on the table, most people would then choose to be in one of the Halloween movies. Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Nightmare on Elm Street tied in third place for most favorable horror movie with four votes each. And the film that got absolutely no votes, that nobody wants to be stuck in?

Saw wins as the absolute worst horror movie to be stuck in with fifty percent of the vote. I guess no one wants to try out the razor wire basement. Or the death mask. Or the reverse bear trap. Eeeep.

Nightmare on Elm Street comes in second place, either because falling asleep is pretty inevitable or because nobody wants to be taunted with bad puns before they’re sucked into a mattress. Interestingly, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and 28 Days Later are the two films to tie here for third place. I would have expected 28 Days Later to get the least amount of votes, as it won the previous poll for best chance horror film to be trapped in, but that honor went instead to Halloween, which got no votes at all.

So, sorry Michael Myers.

Apparently, in this modern era of gruesome traps and torture porn, you’re just not that scary anymore.

5 thoughts on “Nobody Likes a Reverse Bear Trap . . .

  1. Well I voted for Saw as what I’d least like to be in, but honestly it depends on the traps. For example, that pit fulla needles–I could get through that okay. Because I’m one of those odd people that is not at all bothered by needles, although I admit they are annoying. But yeah, there’s too many nasty variables going on there.

    • I’m certainly not crazy about needles, but when it comes to that versus some of the other traps . . . yeah, I might pick needles too. But you’re right . . . no way of knowing which one you’d be getting. Too many likely horrible outcomes.

  2. I would never choose to deal with Freddy Krueger(even the later more flamboyant and goofy Freddy) in an Elm Street scenario. Yes he is often defeated(or so they thought) by teenagers with in a matter of days, but the sleep deprivation, high body count, gruesome deaths and aggrivating useless confrontations with parents are a real fucking nightmare.

    now I will share with you my favorite quotes from the nightmare franchise and they are not even Freddy’s fantastic one liner quips
    they are as follows :
    “The Fuck you will!”
    “I’m not afraaaiid of you!”
    “Put me down, you’re hurting me!”
    “I’m not gonna let some nightstalker beat me”

    as for Michael he is scary but he’s so outrunable.
    Saw seems like the aboslute worse case scenario and after that 28 days later-it is my favorite movie, but if this movie became my reality I probably wouldn’t be lucky enough to have my own Cillian Murphy.

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