Coming Soon-Ish: Sperm Donors, Vampire Hunters, and Barnabas Collins . . .

I know The Host teaser trailer came out this week, but like many teaser trailers, it shows you absolutely nothing. And as I didn’t read the book and have no intention of reading the book, I couldn’t really bring myself to care enough about posting the teaser here. But I do have a few other trailers for you.

For instance . . .

Dark Shadows

I . . . honestly don’t know what to do with this trailer. I suppose I wasn’t expecting anything quite that . . . goofy. But I don’t know, maybe something silly would be good for Tim Burton. Parts of this trailer made me smile—mostly Eva Green and Helena Bonham Carter—but some parts made me roll eyes. Like the TV gag. Or the kiss my posterior joke. It’s an awesome cast, and I want it to be good, but . . . let’s just say my expectations aren’t high. Like, garden gnomes reach a taller height than my expectations.

Jesus Henry Christ

This one has indie darling all over it, doesn’t it? There are a lot of shots in this trailer that I like, and I’m all for Toni Collette and Michael Sheen, but the basic plot of the movie—genius kid finds sperm donor daddy—doesn’t do much for me. It’s a maybe.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter

I was kind of iffy on the teaser trailer, but I’m more into this longer version . . . although I’m still not crazy about the Johnny Cash being shoved in there. It just seems unnecessary. But yeah, I’m going to see this one. It’s just my kind of ridiculous. If it wasn’t in 3D, I’d even make it for the midnight showing.

Finally . . . Death of a Superhero

Well, this looks depressing. But I could potentially watch it. I’ve never really seen Andy Serkis act in his own body before, so that could be sort of interesting. The dying teenage protagonist is played by the little kid—not quite so little anymore—from Love Actually and Nanny McPhee. I always liked that kid. Inspirational plus Depressing, admittedly, isn’t usually my cup of tea, but I might see it at some point and then, promptly, watch something silly like Monty Python.

3 thoughts on “Coming Soon-Ish: Sperm Donors, Vampire Hunters, and Barnabas Collins . . .

  1. I suppose I wasn’t expecting anything quite that . . . goofy.

    Carlie, allow me to introduce… Tim Burton.

    Seriously you were expecting something from Tim Burton that WASN’T goofy? Have you seen any of his backcatalogue? (Really interested in Rhoda Rants watching his backcatalogue on LJ Halloween Candy. There’s a lot in that list of films that I really don’t ever personally want to see again though.)

    I’ve never really seen Andy Serkis act in his own body before

    Oh my goodness, Andy Serkis is f-ing FANTASTIC actor in his own body. I was never really that impressed by the whole Gollum thing (or the LOTR movies in general), but I appreciated ROTPOTA a lot more for having seen Andy Serkis do natural acting and being able to see elements of him in the animation of Caesar.

    Some recommended Serkis movies:
    Longford (HBO tv movie about serial killer Myra Hindley from Tom Hooper, the director of The King’s Speech. Really good if you can get hold of it. Serkis plays serial killer Ian Brady.)
    Sex And Drugs And Rock And Roll (Biopic of Ian Dury, punk icon. Serkis stars.)
    The Prestige (Very small part as Nikolai Tesla/David Bowie’s assistant.)

  2. Jesus Henry Christ

    Sorry, but that looks absolutely dire. It doesn’t seem sure whether it wants to be a comedy or a drama. It’s too goofy to be taken seriously and too self-aggrandising to be terribly funny. I find it difficult to find stories of fictional and unbelieveable characters inspiring, yet “inspiring” seems to be exactly what this film wants to be (from the looks of the trailer).

    In terms of the basic premise, when I hear that a fictional child character is super super smart, my first reaction is not to wonder who their fictional father is. (Perhaps if there was a whole selection of interesting possible candidates and the answer would be slowly revealed. But if we’re just told out of the blue that it’s THIS guy, that’s not terribly interesting.)

  3. I’m actually looking forward to Dark Shadows. Burton’s last several movies have been kinda “eh,” but Dark Shadows looks like a lot of fun. Maybe it’ll be a return of Beetlejuice-esque Burton.

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