I cannot begin to tell you what an amazing experience Clarion West has been for me. (Actually, I can and will, but not right now, twenty minutes before class.) However, it hasn’t exactly left me a lot of time for updating the blog, and I didn’t prepare as many posts ahead of time as I would have liked. I did, however, find a survey that I had made for my friends years ago, so I thought, why the hell not adapt it for My Geek Blasphemy?
So welcome to the . . .
What If Your Life Was Infinitely Cooler and Could Be Material For a Movie Survey!!!
1. Say that your life is imminent danger, and people want you dead. Well, you don’t want to be dead. Which of these fictional characters would you hire to be your bodyguard?
And no . . .
2. Well, you and your bodyguard must have had a falling out because you now seem to be quite alone in a serial killer’s basement. Well. The serial killer is there too, somewhere. As you creep around in the dark, you find a table with three weapons on it: a gun with a single bullet, a four-inch knife, and a stick of dynamite with a few matches. For some reason, you can only pick up one weapon. Why? Who knows? Let’s just say if you try and pick up more than one weapon, you’ll spontaneously combust.
Maybe you should have gone with Kevin Costner after all.
3. Well, whatever weapon you picked, it didn’t work. Good job, you. Thankfully, a superhero bounds in and saves the day. Your gratitude is so overwhelming that you’ve decided to ignore whatever job or career you were previously working at and become a superhero yourself. Of course, the first step to becoming a superhero is being someone else’s sidekick.
Yes, not all of these superheroes traditionally come with sidekicks. Tough. Pick one anyway.
4. Let’s be honest: you’re not really made out for the superhero life. After all, it’s a lot of work, and you’re not an alien who can just turn back time by flying really, really quickly. You’re just about to give up on the dream when, one day, a truck coming from some nearby top secret government facility accidentally splashes you radioactive goo, and voila! You have superpowers!
And yes . . .
5. Finally, now that you are your own superhero—to hell with that sidekick bullshit; you have POWERS—clearly, you need your own soundtrack. Sadly, your soundtrack will consist of music only sung by one artist or group, much like Batman only got to listen to Prince back in 1989. As you’re fighting the bad guy, brooding in your superhero lair, dashing to the rescue, and kissing the girl or guy in distress, who do you want to be listening to?
And no, you can’t pick Whitney Houston either. It’s not allowed.
Assuming more than two people respond, I’ll compile results and present them in a semi-entertaining fashion probably next week.