Yay, a new spook story by Guillermo del Toro. My interest in the plot is actually only so-so, but I really want to see Nikolaj Coster-Waldau outside of Game of Thrones, and I’d like to see Jessica Chastain in anything. (She’s supposed to be an amazing actress, but she rarely pops up in anything I have interest in.) So it’s a maybe. Creepy kids may be a cliche, but they can also be pretty effective. Anyway, it has to be better than Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, right?
God, this movie has such an amazing cast. Here are some of the people in Lincoln: Daniel Day Lewis, David Strathairn, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Sally Field, Tommy Lee Jones, Jackie Earle Haley, Jared Harris, James Spader, John Hawkes, Lee Pace, and Walton Goggins. And yet . . .
And yet I just don’t care. I don’t. I’m not saying it’ll be a bad movie. It’s a Spielberg film designed to win Oscars. Of course it’ll be a good movie. I just have no interest in seeing it at all. Biopics are generally a hard sell for me, certainly biopics about people as well known and revered as Abraham Lincoln. If I have to watch a biopic, I’d rather watch a smaller story and probably about someone I know nothing about. Oooh, or the story about how Lincoln’s body nearly got stolen that one time. That might make an interesting film.
Stand Up Guys
Much to my surprise, I’m actually interested in this one, and I haven’t been interested in an Al Pacino movie in . . . God, I don’t even know how long. I do like Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin, though, and there’s something about this trailer that catches my attention. I have a fondness for depressing black comedies . . . at least when the humor is done right. (Which is, admittedly, a hard thing to do.) Watching this trailer, my mind kept flashing back to In Bruges. If the balance between dark and funny works as well here as it did there, this could be kind of awesome.
Although. I think I’ll be disappointed if Christopher Walken doesn’t actually kill Al Pacino by the end of the movie.
Texas Chainsaw 3D
Yawn. You know a franchise has gotten ridiculously overblown when they just start lopping words off the title. I fully expect that by the time 2020 comes around, we’ll be watching Texas 3D. Massacres and chainsaws not required.
Seriously, I enjoy the original film, and I have written often and passionately about the mid 90’s version with Renee Zellwegger and Matthew McConaughey. (Chainsaws really were optional in that film — Random Cross-Dressing Leatherface swings one around a bit but fails to ever actually kill anyone with it.) But this franchise has the most ludicrously complicated timeline I’ve ever seen with so many sequels and prequels and remakes that I’m honestly not sure how to order it. And this particular installment doesn’t seem like anything special. If I’m going to waste my time with one of these films, I’d rather try the one with Matt Bomer in it.
And finally . . . The Oranges
Allison Janney is in this movie, so without knowing anything else, you should know that the story is probably about suburban family dysfunction.
Of course, I’m a sucker for suburban family disfunction movies, and this actually looks kind of funny — sometimes, a break from all the melodrama is sort of nice. I’m not really a sucker for older man and considerably younger woman romance stories — especially here, where it seems all kinds of creepy — but I’ll put up with a lot for Allison Janney, Oliver Platt, Adam Brody, and Hugh Laurie. Who knows? Maybe they’ll actually be able to sell me on the relationship.