So, I’m a little surprised. The votes are in, and the the Worst Remake Ever (or at least out of the presented choices) goes to . . .
I thought Godzilla had this one in the bag, but it was a tight race with many worthy (atrocious?) contenders, and apparently, turning this widely beloved science fiction classic into something starring Keanu Reeves was simply more than most of you could take. I haven’t actually seen the remake myself, so I have no real opinion on the film. Actually, I haven’t seen a lot of these remakes, and honestly? I’m a little proud of that.
Second place goes to Gus Van Sant’s shot by shot remake of Psycho. Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla, meanwhile, only manages to scrap by with a bronze medal, showing just how tough of a field this really is.
Finally, Total Loser Award (or — in this case — possibly Total Winner Award) goes to four movies: Conan the Barbarian, Black Christmas, Clash of the Titans, and Poseidon. Of these, I have only seen Black Christmas and Clash of the Titans, and as much as the latter sucked, the former? So much worse.
Because in the remake, let’s ignore the one thing that really makes Black Christmas unique and instead turn the killer into some yellow, diseased, raped-by-his-mother mental asylum escapee named Billy. Yes. That will make it better.
In conclusion: there are some good remakes out there — but wow, so many, many bad ones.