Oscars 2013 — A Slightly Belated Commentary —

1. While I really would have preferred Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, Seth MacFarlane wasn’t as bad of a host as I was expecting. Not every joke landed, but I thought a decent number of them did, and anyway, it would have been very hard to be a worst host than this guy:


2. That being said, the ceremony itself? Way too long. I had to record the program and fast-forward through half a dozen things so that I could get to work on time, and it still seemed to drag. The opening act wasn’t terrible, but how long did it go for? Twenty minutes? Thirty? Frankly, I don’t know how many people would actually be upset if we cut the opening portion of the show entirely, but if we just have to do it — can’t we take a cue from SNL and keep it around the three minute mark? Five if you must.

3. There weren’t a ton of huge surprises here — personally, I think the biggest one was Ang Lee winning over Spielberg for Best Director. (I don’t much care. I haven’t seen either of the movies — per usual, I haven’t seen most of the nominated movies because I’m a failure.) But I did like that the awards were fairly spread out — Argo got Best Picture, Editing, and Adapted Screenplay, Life of Pi got Best Director, Cinematography, and Original Score, Django Unchained got Best Supporting Actor and Best Original Screenplay,  Silver Linings Playbook got Best Actress, etc. I think the only Best Picture Nominee that was completely shut out of EVERYTHING was Beasts of the Southern Wild.

4. Quvenzhané Wallis looked adorable, though.


Sometimes, I think people make a little too big of a deal about age appropriate dresses — particularly with older actresses — but this makes total sense for a little girl. It’s this whole tiny elegant dress, but she’s wearing no makeup and she has a little puppy purse with her. It’s perfect.

Other Best Dressed Actresses . . .

Jennifer Lawrence:


If I could — which I can’t — I would totally wear something like this.

Jessica Chastain:


This dress probably should have washed her out but didn’t. It’s a total Oscar dress and looks great on her.

Charlize Theron:


I feel like I might have liked this a tiny bit better if her hair was dark, but I still think it looks really good on her. Any bitch who can actually pull off a peplum . . . ugh.

Zoe Saldana:


I feel like I shouldn’t like this — it’s definitely unusual and it’s got a lot going on — but I don’t know. I think Zoe Saldana rocks it anyway.

5. On the other hand, some worst dressed stars . . .

Anne Hathaway:


The shape of the dress isn’t so bad, but it makes her boobs look funny, and it’s hard to really notice anything but her nipples.

Kerry Washington:

85th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

Everyone seems to love this dress, but . . . I just think that top is kind of ugly.

Jennifer Hudson:

85th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

I don’t know if there’s a right way to do a blue fish scale dress, but this wasn’t it. It just looks kind of Vegas tacky to me.

Nicole Kidman:


I am not a big fan of sequins AT ALL, but I might have been able to get over the top of this dress. . . and then I saw the bottom.

Jennifer Garner:


This is a gorgeous color, but what the hell is all that foofy shit on the back? It’s awful.

6. You know I do kind of like the idea of the Oscars having a theme, specifically one where they celebrate a different genre of film each year. (I would particularly like it if they made a real tribute to horror, not that bullshit montage they did a few years ago where they highlighted some of the worst horror movies ever — plus Twilight — because some A-listers had once been in them.) But still, I don’t think the celebration of musicals really worked all that well here. The whole show felt a little awkwardly patched together for some reason.

7. I forgot to mention — there was actually a tie this year for Sound Editing. I don’t know if I’ve ever even seen a tie at the Oscars before.

8. Finally, my biggest disappointments of the night are all because of Life of Pi, naturally. I was really rooting for Roger Deakins to win Best Cinematography for Skyfall — how has this man NEVER won an Oscar? It’s unbelievable. But it’s the Visual Effects one that really annoys the hell out of me.


It’s okay, Hulk. Don’t be sad. I still love you, even if the Academy doesn’t.

9 thoughts on “Oscars 2013 — A Slightly Belated Commentary —

  1. Can we talk about how, in this Oscar ceremony supposedly celebrating music in movies, the orchestra was shipped off DOWN THE STREET to the Capitol Records building and pumped into the theater? That’s right, some of the best musicians in the world, on a night supposedly about music in the movies, aren’t good enough to even be allowed inside?

    My rage is tangible.

    • Heh. They showed the orchestra in another building, and I was like . . . “You know, I’m almost positive I remember orchestras being INSIDE the theater where the actual ceremony is taking place.” But then I couldn’t remember if that was a new, weird thing this year, or if I was just spectacularly unobservant last year.

      My prescription for tangible rage is deep breaths and a lot of chocolate.

  2. There’s something weird going on with the visual effects Oscar this year. The effects team which won it is bankrupt because the movie studios didn’t pay them. There was a protest outside the Oscars ceremony that night with one protest sign reading “Will Matte Paint For Food”.

    Meanwhile in the ceremony itself it seems that Sam L Jackson must have been told to hurry the special effects award along, because he seemed unkeen to even give the award an introduction. Then those collecting the award were cut short with the Jaws theme and when they began to mention the “financial difficulties” (i.e. filing for bankruptcy) of their visual effects company (which also worked on “Snow White And The Huntsman” which was similarly profitable) their microphone was shut down.

    The whole thing was a massive insult to ANYONE working on visual effects in the film industry today. Which movie should have been given the award seems like a bit of a non-issue by comparison. (For the record, I don’t feel able to judge on that since I haven’t seen “Life Of Pi” yet. I’ve missed that one in the cinema now though, so it’ll be a while before it’s released on DVD and I can comment properly.)

    • Yeah, I didn’t know about the protest or bankruptcy till after the Oscars were over. I didn’t even catch the play-off or turning off the mic– which, I HATE when they do that, you know, it’s their night — because that was one of the speeches I fast-forwarded past so I could get to work on time. I read more about the whole thing last night, and it does seem pretty lousy.

  3. Jessica Chastain looked like Jessica Rabbit… I am pretty huge on Fashion, and did not
    see a dress I liked… Though Naomi Watts wins for me just based on the fit of that dress
    on her perfect bod.

  4. While I really would have preferred Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

    I don’t particularly like Seth McFarlane but although Tina Fey is funny on 30 Rock I can’t stand the overrated Amy Poehler.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.