The Wolverine

I will admit, First Class was a big step in believing that the X-Men franchise could be good again. Then again, First Class wasn’t a Wolverine solo set in Japan, so . . . I gotta be honest: I’m not really excited by this. Wolverine’s Japan shit was never one of my favorite storylines, and the near-total failures that were The Last Stand and Origins still weigh heavily on my sad little geek heart. Making Wolverine kinda-sorta mortal isn’t exactly doing it for me, either. I mean, I’ll probably see it. Mekaela — damn her — will surely make me, but I expect to be about as impressed with this movie as I am with the Jesus-Wolverine Deadly Hair-and-Beard Combo of Grief.

White House Down

WHITE HOUSE DOWN!
Starring Channing Tatum’s Arms! Also, Django!
Brought to you by Roland Emmerich — That Guy Who Loves Destroying Shit!
An Unofficial Sequel/Carbon Copy to Olympus Has Fallen — Which Looked Equally Terrible!

Pass.

And Finally . . . Riddick

I don’t usually put up teasers that are literally less than thirty seconds, but I decided to post this one, mostly so I could ask why no one else seems instantly sad about how unbelievable terrible that first monster looks?

Honestly, I don’t know. I guess I should try Chronicles of Riddick again, but with a wildly different mindset this time. I really liked Pitch Black and was expecting something more of that caliber, which . . . not what I remember Chronicles of Riddick being like. And not exactly expecting this one to be much better.

Geek movies, you are failing me a little this week.