Coming Soon-Ish: Detectives, Pianos, and Disney World Horror

True Detective

I like detective shows quite a bit, and I like Woody Harrelson well enough, but I’m also not a huge fan of Matthew McConaughey. So I didn’t know how excited I’d really be about this promo.

Turns out, I’m pretty excited. True Detective is HBO’s new show scheduled to premiere sometime in January, and it looks a little like something Joe R. Lansdale might have written. I don’t know a whole lot about the actual plot yet, but I must say, I’m looking forward to this one. (I can only assume that there will be a lot of sex scenes, and Matthew McConaughey will have his shirt off in all of them.)

Grand Piano

Well, this trailer is in Spanish which, unfortunately, I don’t actually speak. (I really need to start working on that.) But I had to post it anyway — it’s like Phone Booth, only we have Elijah Wood instead of Colin Farrell, John Cusack instead of Kiefer Sutherland, and a piano instead of, well, instead of a phone booth. I guess if Frodo doesn’t play the piano perfectly, Martin Blank is going to kill him? I don’t know how seriously I can take this movie, but it looks kind of fun in a crazy sort of way — although, clearly, it’s not the best film featuring a piano. (If you haven’t seen this short, strange little piece about a ballerina dancing on knife point, I suggest you check it out. It’s kind of powerful. And also kind of creepy.)

Snowpiercer

I posted a trailer for this film before, but it had pretty lousy quality. This one’s a lot better, though, and has some new footage too, so I thought it was worth the second look.

I can’t lie: I’m mostly interested in this one because of cast. Chris Evans, Jamie Bell, Tilda Swinton, Alison Pill, Ed Harris, Octavia Spencer. That’s a pretty outstanding lineup right there. The whole classism revolution thing? It . . . kind of interests me. It depends highly on how heavy-handed the dialogue gets, and some lines — like “Curtis, this is your destiny” aren’t necessarily leaving me feeling inspired. On the other hand . . . did those rich people really just steal a kid? Dude. Take them down!

Also, it should be said: this cinematography looks pretty fantastic. So, hey, I’m hopeful.

Mortal Kombat: Legacy – Season Two

I watched the first season of Mortal Kombat: Legacy . . . well, scratch that. I watched part of the first season and then promptly forgot about it. Regardless, I think I’m going to check out the second season premiere. For one thing, we’re actually at the tournament now. (First season, I believe, was all prequel shit.) For another, it looks AWESOME. Also, due to my dedication to crap action movies and procedural television, I know a lot of these actors: Ian Anthony Dale, Mark Dacascos, Casper Van Dien, and best of all, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa.

Sadly, it seems Seven of Nine and Helo aren’t coming back. Boo, hiss.

And finally . . . Escape From Tomorrow

Oh, I’m seeing this movie, if for no other reason than I’m shocked I’m actually getting the chance to.

If you haven’t already heard, this is an independent, psychological horror movie covertly shot at Disney World without Disney’s permission, and yet . . . they’re letting it see the light of day. While I was more interested when I thought it was a horror film with more literal monsters . . . I have to see this movie. I just have to.

Mickey Mouse is coming for your soul, kids. Be forewarned.

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