My birthday isn’t for a couple of weeks, but Mekaela decided to give me my present early this year. And by “give,” I mean “unveil” because she basically gave me my bedroom.

Let me explain.

So we moved to this apartment a year and a half ago, and for the first time in my life, I have a very large bedroom that I don’t have to share with anyone, and I’ve never done anything with it. For maybe the last six months, I’ve been playing with the idea of creating some kind of superhero or supervillain theme for my room — shocking, I know — but I just kept putting it off. And it seemed best to keep putting it off, since we’re headed into the holidays anyway, and I figured there was a more than decent chance my sister — who’s been forced to listen to me continue procrastinating my interior decorating dreams — might buy, like, a Batman picture frame or something, and I didn’t want to accidentally purchase the same thing.

Boy, did she do more than buy a Batman picture frame.

You have some choices to make before you enter my room. The self-destruct button, quite rightly, is out of order.

Before we get to what’s inside the bedroom, though, let me give you the story: I came home after a long, not very well-staffed night at work in the middle of a long, not very-well staffed stretch of nights. (In fact, that stretch is not yet over. I go back tonight, and then I’m free. FREEEEEEEEEEE.) Mekaela was awake when I got home — because our cats may be adorable but they’re also demonic — so I chatted with her briefly and dragged my lazy ass up the stairs. I was ecstatic to see my new entry buttons but didn’t open the door and enter my bedroom for another good five minutes. (Thanks had to be given, teeth had to be brushed, etc.)

It did occur to me that more might be in the room, but I didn’t want to assume that was the case. (You ever get a purse for your birthday and start digging in it for other presents, but then feel bad because maybe no one put anything else inside and how does that make you look, you selfish little person?) Anyway, I certainly didn’t expect a whole new bedspread.

Red and black are my favorite colors. They’re also Harley Quinn’s colors, which is a nice little coincidence. And look, look! I have my very own Crazy Board!

It’s incomplete, of course, because a Crazy Board is always incomplete. There are always more possible suspects and hidden links and secret conspiracies to add. When you can see the actual board behind the pictures and articles and whatnot, you know you’re just not crazy enough. But it’ll get there once I actually print out some more pictures. This will be a thing of beauty.

Here’s the Wanted Ad up close.

My favorite part of the Crazy Board, though, is that it’s actually labelled “Crazy Board”.

For any superhero/supervillain/superhenchman lair — oh, henchmen have lairs, don’t you worry — a label maker is key. How else would you know that your television also has the power to destroy the world?

(That’s not a flash you see, by the way. That’s the radioactive power of my television.)

Also, my clock is now guarded by a tiny Hulk.

My dresser is now more colorful.

My walls are more inspirational.

And I have a little evil throne. (The rug — barely captured in this particular picture — is new. We already had the chair and BatCat Pillow, but they were both downstairs for common usage. Now they are mine!)

Even my trash can is more fun.

In conclusion: my bedroom is awesome, and my sister is THE BEST.