The 2013-2014 TV season is just about over . . . but here’s a small handful of the pilots heading your way this September.
Let’s be super honest here: I’ve never read a single Constantine comic, and I totally enjoy the Keanu Reeves movie as a shlocky good time. But this series — which looks to be considerably more faithful to the original character, if the internet is to be believed — could be pretty genuinely awesome. Other than The Girl (who might be less of an Obvious Love Interest/Exposition Device in the actual show), I was definitely into this trailer. Although I do have my concerns, namely that Constantine has apparently been scheduled on Friday. There have, obviously, been a few successful genre shows on Friday . . . but not fucking many.
Well. Hm. I really like both Karen Gillan and John Cho a lot, and I want to support anything that they’re both in . . . but . . . I don’t know. There are a couple of funny lines in this, but I can tell just from “plus-sized skinny jeans” that I’m gonna want to physically shake this woman more than I’m gonna want to laugh at her comically shallow foibles. Maybe I could deal with this as a two hour rom-com, but as an ongoing series? It’s unlikely.
Now, this sounds kind of horrifying if you’re going by the name alone, but I actually think it looks decently funny. A good number of the jokes land for me, and I think the subject matter could lead to some pretty interesting discussions. I can also see why some people might find it offensive, though, so I guess we’ll have to see how the show actually turns out. But I’m kind of hopeful — it’d be pretty awesome to have a network channel that actually features an all — or at least primarily — black cast. Cause, man. TV? Still overwhelmingly, embarrassingly white.
Eh. There are a couple of funny lines, and I could be amused by the number of creative ways this show manages to kill off Lancelot, only to bring him back to life — and bring him back quite naked too — but I’m getting real tired of the Super Sherlock Observer Syndrome where our protagonist (almost, but not always, a man) can tell everything about a person by the most minute details, and feels the compulsion to share this knowledge even when it’s completely irrelevant and rude. Plus, I have no interest in either the detective trying to discover our hero’s secret, or what will almost certainly be their UST relationship. I think I’ll save my “supernatural M.E. solves crime” spot in the schedule open for iZombie. (Unfortunately, there’s no trailer for that one yet.)
Aliens. Children. Steven Spielberg. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Actually, the aliens appear to be evil this time around, and they’re using children to invade the country. I’m not particularly in love with this trailer, but there’s nothing very wrong with it, either — I just don’t care much one way or the other. If I’m going to see yet another evil invisible friend story, though, I really want a fresh and exciting new take on the trope . . . and I’m not convinced that this is it.
Finally, saving the best for last . . . this looks AMAZING. Not just amazing — it’s ridiculously stupendous, it’s amazeballs, it’s the best thing I have EVER SEEN. This show is the clear lovechild of Once Upon a Time and Monty Python and the Holy Grail, only with a lot, a LOT, more singing. I can’t . . . I don’t even know how this got made. I can’t believe someone actually had the balls to make this absurd show, and the fact that it actually got picked up for a pilot? Oh, please, PLEASE let this last at least six episodes. I was laughing so hard watching this trailer, I can’t even tell you.
I’m pretty sure Timothy Omundson is now picking his projects based only on how ridiculous he gets to act, and how much he gets to sing. That’s an honest way to choose one’s work. Seriously, I’d like to shake that man’s hand.