Playing It Cool
When I dreamed of Chris Evans and Anthony Mackie teaming up again, this isn’t what I had in mind.
On the plus side: extremely solid cast. Besides Evans and Mackie, we also have Aubrey Plaza, Luke Wilson, Michelle Monaghan, Giovanni Ribisi, Topher Grace, and Patrick Warburton. On the negative side: I could play Rom-Com Bingo with this movie, I swear to God. Guy who doesn’t believe in love, the girl who changes everything, guy who interrupts the girl’s wedding, guy who punches out the surely arrogant groom, etc. In fact, let me just spell out the story using nothing but quotes from the actual trailer.
“Love is a downer.”
“But then I met this girl.”
“No, he’s my boyfriend.”
“I think we should just be friends. That’s allowed, right?”
“Men and women can’t be friends”
“Do men really think that sex is the answer to everything?”
“Oh my God. You’re falling for her.”
“You won’t even fight for the girl you love.”
“I don’t want you to marry this guy.”
It’s especially annoying, I think, because Chris Evans plays a Hollywood writer forced to write a rom-com, and that’s a setup you do when you want your movie to actually talk about genre, do something interesting with it, something original. There doesn’t look to be a scrap of originality in this movie. And for God’s sake, people. Lots of men and women are friends without doing the horizontal bop together. I, too, like When Harry Met Sally, but it is officially time — past time, even — to let that trope DIE.
Oh my God, you guys. I don’t even . . . has Christmas come early? Is this an early birthday present from God? People, this movie . . . this movie looks AMAZING. Not because it’s going to be good. Obviously. It’s Keanu Reeves as That One Super Dangerous Guy Who Got Out Of The Life, Only To Get Sucked Back In For REVENGE. But it’s like someone wrote a script parodying those types of movies, only the people making it didn’t realize the script was supposed to be funny? And dude, it looks incredible.
Lots of cliches abound, of course. In fact, you can almost play the same game as I did earlier with Playing it Cool. (“You got out once, it’s personal, people keep asking if I’m back,” etc.) But nothing is as amazing as this line: “I lost everything. That dog was a final gift from my dying wife.”
There are no words. There is only laughter. So, so much laughter. I was dying here.
Maps to the Stars
Well, this at least looks interesting.
I won’t pretend I fully know what’s happening in this movie. Only that it’s a Hollywood story and, also, a David Cronenberg movie. So, probably a lot of sociopathic weirdness. (You know, I’ve only seen two Cronenberg movies? And I barely even remember eXistenZ, it’s been so long. I don’t even remember if I liked it.) This has got a great cast, though: Julianne Moore, Mia Wasikowska, John Cusack, Olivia Williams, and Carrie Fisher, apparently. (And, yes, Robert Pattinson. I’ve only seen him in Goblet of Fire, where he was perfectly fine, and Twilight, where he was incredibly not. I’m not excited by his appearance, but I will allow that he could possibly have previously unseen range.)
It’s not the kind of movie I’d jump to go see or anything, but I guess I could try it eventually. I am a sucker for Hollywood stories, weird or otherwise.
But let’s be honest. New Zealand horror comedy is probably more my speed. Actually, it just annoys me that I never came up with this idea myself. House arrest plus haunted house? That’s just simplicity in itself.
This looks kind of fun. How much fun, I expect, will depend on tone, but I like all the comedic touches. (“Restless spirit who lives in this house, what is your business here?”) When the trailer first started, I thought it was a straight-up horror, but that doesn’t seem to be the case, and I’m happier for it. It’s not quite a Must See for me, but I could definitely check it out at some point.
And Finally . . . Play It Again, Dick
This web series, on the other hand has absolutely become a must-see. Apparently, I will never let Veronica Mars go, and neither will Dick Casablancas — er, Ryan Hansen, I mean. The fact that apparently everyone from V. Mars is dropping in at some point makes me inordinately happy. I never did love Dick Casablancas the way other fans did, but I’m looking forward to this, regardless. (Also, I’m kind of amused at the second teaser’s mockery of The Newsroom promo. I don’t know why, I just am.)