Coming Soon-Ish: Holmes, Earthquakes, and Body-Switching

I was going to try to have a review up today, but I just couldn’t manage it in time. So you get trailers you’ve probably already seen instead. C’est la vie. Happy Friday the 13th!

Tomorrowland

Well, I watched the teaser months ago. Now that I’ve seen a full-length trailer . . . look, I really don’t want to be interested in a movie that’s based on a land from Disneyland, but I can’t help myself. It looks fun. Family-friendly fun, sure, but I really like some of the visuals in this trailer. I’m interested in seeing more live-action films by Brad Bird, and it’s got a pretty spectacular cast. (I swear, I don’t just mind Hugh Laurie. He’s a big part of it, though. You gotta like Hugh Laurie.)

I doubt I’ll see this in theater or anything, but I could rent it at some point.

Mr. Holmes

This is just a teaser, so there’s not much in the way of actual plot revealed in this one. But the gist seems to be that super old Sherlock Holmes, as played by Ian McKellan, will have to solve one last mystery, which will probably be hard because he’s, as aforementioned, super old and having memory problems. I will say that it looks considerably less depressing than I expected when I first heard about the project months ago, but that’s probably because of all the sweeping inspirational music. Hard to say what the tone of the actual film will be, although if Holmes doesn’t bite it at the end, I will honestly be surprised.

Self/less

Ben Kingsley is rich. Ben Kingsley is dying. Ben Kingsley transports himself into Ryan Reynolds’s body, and there are side effects. Because that’s apparently something that immortality comes, as Matthew Goode so casually remarks, like that’s not something important that should be mentioned on a brochure or something.

Honestly, my interest in this is pretty middling, but Matthew Goode seems appropriately sinister, and I always want Ryan Reynolds’s movies to do well. His career path is insane. He keeps picking these projects that just bomb, but you can usually see how the movies could have gone well.

In the meantime, this will have to hold us all over until Deadpool.

And finally . . . San Andreas

Oh. My. GOD. The cheese. The CHEESE in this thing.

So, this movie is apparently about the entire destruction of my home state, and I just can’t stop giggling at it. It looks so bad. In fact, I was really surprised when I looked it up and saw that Roland Emmerich didn’t direct it. Seriously, I thought this had his 2012 fingerprints all over it.

And the science, man. The science in this thing looks like it’s going to be impressively terrible, and I’m saying that as someone who only barely remembers her geology course that she took around ten years ago. Is this what people from non-earthquake regions think happens in California? Or that it’s a likely possibility? I’m not trying to say earthquakes can’t be devastating because of course they can, but . . . holy shit, what is this? Besides hysterical, I mean.

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2 Responses to Coming Soon-Ish: Holmes, Earthquakes, and Body-Switching

  1. Teacups says:

    I keep mistaking San Andreas for an adaptation of Grand Theft Auto, as I had no idea that it was a real thing.

    As to your question, this trailer isn’t actively setting off my bullshit detector. I think I’ve felt an earthquake, oh, twice in my life? Wikipedia says there’s only one fatal earthquake (not counting one which may have caused two heart attacks) on record through all of Australia, so yeah. It’s not a topic I know a lot about.

    • Earthquakes are interesting. I’m in Northern California and we don’t have as many of them as Southern California, but they do happen. Honestly, though, I rarely feel them. Still, one — if not the biggest — earthquake we’ve ever in CA history was the 1906 one in San Francisco. That was a 7.8. And that’s decently big (I don’t think I’ve ever felt above a 4.something), and it caused a lot of devastation, but the city didn’t entirely collapse into rubble or anything. And that was before earthquake safety regulations.

      Of course, I’m sure this is supposed to be a bigger earthquake. Wikipedia has the largest earthquake on record in Chile at 9.5 I don’t know if it’s supposed to be bigger than that or not. But the destruction just looks so hilariously overblown to me that I can’t take it seriously at all. Of course, just for mocking it, California will probably get by a 13.2 earthquake or something. Good going, Carlie. 😛

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