Coming Soon-Ish: Teen Wolf, Scream Queens, and Zombie Kids

Teen Wolf

SEASON FIVE IS COMING!

I will not apologize for my excitement. I am content in being a total fangirl about this show, even though it often operates on shaky logic and last season wasn’t its strongest. Fifth season, like third, will be divided into two halves, and there’s a pretty strong chance that this will be the final season, so. My time for fangirl squee is limited.

A lot’s going on this trailer, and it’s hard to make sense of most of it. Lydia doesn’t seem to be having an easy time of it, poor girl. (Though maybe she’s faking whatever insanity thing is going on to do undercover detective work at Eichen House. That could work for me.) Then again, no one really seems to be having a great senior year. There appears to be some friction between Scott and Stiles, which I could totally approve of. And if it’s about this new wolf guy, then I’m firmly on Stiles’s side, because yeah, I absolutely don’t trust that dude, either. (Also the whole trust everyone/trust no one thing seems to be a pretty perfect representation of their two characters. Me gusta.)

“Watch Your Pack” is not my favorite of the Teen Wolf season slogans . . . but I’m still pretty excited by this trailer. Damn it. Why isn’t it the end of June yet?

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

Ah, the Dylan O’Brien project I’m considerably less interested in.

I guess I could watch this for mockery purposes, but I have no immediate plans to, since the first one was basically just two hours of missed opportunities and failed potential. Although, Thomas does look pretty angsty in a shower, a shot that’s often reserved for women. (After trauma, male protagonists grow angsty facial hair, while women cry naked and alone. I don’t actually think Thomas will start crying here, but if he did, I’d almost be a little impressed.)

There are many, many generic action shots. I suspect O’Brien is contracted to run and nearly get killed by a closing wall/door in each film. And Aidan Gillen is here too, playing our Probably-But-Possibly-Not-Totally-Evil Antagonist. Only I think he’s going for an American accent, which, well. It’s not working for him. This was a problem in the first movie too, where only one of a handful of British kids got to keep their English. It makes even less sense here; after all, we all know villains come from Europe! Let him just be Irish, for the love of God.

Scream Queens

All right. I know I’ll have to give this one a try.

I have a feeling the tone is going to bounce all over the place in this show. Like I’m getting satire for the most part, but then there are scenes like the one with the rent-a-cop screaming — that shit seemed straight out of the Scary Movie franchise. And while Emma Roberts and Abigail Breslin are perfect as Bitch Queens from Hell, I’m already not wild about the ridiculously nerdy pledges, like Lea Michelle or, worse, Random Candle Wax Eating Girl. I mean, really? Really?

Based on that trailer, I’m rooting for Keke Palmer and Jamie Lee Curtis to survive. Unfortunately, I worry that’s not very likely.

Cooties

This trailer kind of reminds me of Recess Pieces, a comic book with an awesome premise that I, ultimately, didn’t like as much as I’d hoped. I kind of feel like that’s going to be the case here, too. I’m all for teachers on the run from their zombie students, and I did laugh at Rainn Wilson telling us, “This is that scene.” Still, the “I’m gay!” line came off as particularly awkward and uncomfortable to me, and I’m worried that this is a one-joke movie that’s going to get old thirty minutes in.

Still, I wouldn’t mind being wrong about that. Zombie fourth-graders automatically make me smile, and I’m a fan of both Elijah Wood and Alison Pill. One way or another, I’m sure I’ll get around to seeing this. Whether it’ll be good or not, though, that’s another story.

And finally . . . Nina Forever

. . . I actually have no idea what to say to that. But if you’d like to try the trailer out for yourself, just be warned: it’s definitely NSFW. Like, even more so than the movie about killer kid zombies.

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One Response to Coming Soon-Ish: Teen Wolf, Scream Queens, and Zombie Kids

  1. Teacups says:

    Yay, Teen Wolf! God, it feels like forever since Season 4 ended.

    The gas mask monster looks enjoyably creepy.

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