Make Me Watch a Terrible Movie: The Schadenfreude Poll

Apparently, failure begets failure. I’m looking at my Best Picture Challenge that I’m miserably behind on, and while I totally have time to catch up — I just don’t want to. Considering these are made-up and deeply insignificant challenges that I’ve entirely created for myself — yeah, I think I’m just going to bite the bullet and call it a loss now, rather than stretch it out and be needlessly miserable for the rest of the year.

I’m already looking ahead to next year’s possible challenge (current contenders are Disney Princess Movies vs 80’s Classics I Somehow Missed) but today’s poll is all about punishment. Last time I failed a movie challenge, I had to (sob) watch and review Battlefield Earth. I have never properly recovered from this trauma.

Which movie (or television show) should I traumatize myself with now?

Manos: Hands of Fate
Jaws: The Revenge
The Wicker Man (with Nicolas Cage, obviously)
Showgirls
Troll 2
Spiderman 3
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Plan 9 From Outer Space
The Room
The first three episodes of Birds of Prey

Please leave your vote in the Comments (or on Facebook/Twitter/whatever — just make sure I can find it.) I’ve linked all the trailers here, if you’d like a more fully informed decision. (I’m sort of hoping that no one has seen all of these movies, or else I’ll have to feel sorry for you.) I was also going to offer to watch the first three episodes of Cop Rock, but the total lack of availability made that impossible. (It’s almost too bad. I’m pretty sure I could have come up with an entertaining review of a 90’s police procedural where everybody sang.)

The poll will be open for one week, and I (the Despairing) will have to watch and review it before the end of the year. Fair warning: alcohol may be involved.

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15 Responses to Make Me Watch a Terrible Movie: The Schadenfreude Poll

  1. Superman IV. I think you’d enjoy Manos or Plan 9 From Outer Space too much.

  2. skhoot says:

    The MST3K of Manos, Hands of Fate is hilarious. You’ll enjoy Plan 9, too.

    Superman IV: Don’t do it. For the love of all that’s holy, DON’T. Weber’s a jackhole for suggesting it and should go to the special hell reserved for people who talk in theaters and child molestors.

    • Heh. Well, it IS supposed to be punishment, so I can’t blame Pat TOO much. But if you’d like to cast a kinder vote, I’m certainly not going to argue. I do need one, though: would you pick Manos: Hands of Fate or Plan 9 From Outer Space? (I might watch the MST3K version after, but first, I’d have to watch the real thing. *sigh*.)

  3. fatpie42 says:

    Part of me was interested to see what you think of “Spider-Man 3”. I was going to ask whether you’ve seen the first two (and frankly, even though I was suckered into seeing both of those two in the cinema, I’m not particularly impressed by either of them). But frankly the little clips I’ve seen of Tobey Maguire’s ridiculous dancing make a hate-watch of that film seem a hell of a lot more fun than the first two cheese-fests which are bizarrely lauded over.

    So my final choice is “Wicker Man”. Considering that you liked “Drive Angry” quite a lot, you may actually enjoy this one…. You twisted person. 😛

    • I have seen the first two Spiderman movies. I liked them okay (the second more than the first) but I had problems with both too, and I never thought they were as a-maz-ing as most people. But I’ve also only seen each once, years ago. I’ve never really given either a second go.

      Me? Twisted? *blinks innocently* 🙂

  4. Hey, I resemble that remark!

  5. Either Quest for Peace or Showgirls. I judge there’s a chance you might be amused by Wicker Man, Plan 9, or Manos.

  6. If you wanted to be TRULY mean to yourself, you’d list Staying Alive, or really any live-action Eddie Murphy movie after 1989, with The Adventures of Pluto Nash being the pinnacle. Not “this is so bad it’s funny”, but just dull as paste. Though “The Cat in the Hat” (the Mike Myers version) is so awkwardly unpleasant that it’s also pretty torturous.

    I’m a little torn — I almost want to vote for The Room, just because it’s apparently so incredibly baffling, but I think in the end that SHOWGIRLS will hurt you in the best way, in that it will produce the most enjoyable writing.

    • Look, I failed a challenge. I didn’t MURDER anybody. I’m not willingly signing myself up to watch The Adventures of Pluto Nash. I have SOME standards.

      Showgirls, noted. 🙂

  7. Charles says:

    The Room, hands down.

  8. Claire says:

    Spiderman 3, as that is the only movie I have seen on the list besides Plant 9, and it is much less enjoyable.

  9. Marisa says:

    Since “Tip Toes” is not on the list I’ll have to go with “Showgirls!” So sorry!

  10. Teacups says:

    Showgirls! I’ve been waiting to see if it would get many votes – I didn’t want to throw mine away, after all.

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