Coming Soon-Ish: Peculiar Children, Biblical Epics, and LEGO BATMAN

First, let me just go ahead and put this on the record: I absolutely refuse to watch a trailer for the deleted scenes of a movie, even if that movie is The Force Awakens. And no judgment on you if you did! Just, I can’t do it. I can’t. STOP TRYING TO OWN MY SOUL, STAR WARS.

Now. On to some other trailers.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

I read this book, and it was one of those stories that I loved in concept but not quite in execution. When I heard Tim Burton was going to adapt it, I fully admit I groaned because I seriously doubted he would solve any of those execution problems for me. I used to love his movies, or at least be interested in them, but lately every time I watch a Tim Burton trailer, I feel like I’m getting something I’ve already gotten from him repeatedly, and I want something new. His recent work often seems like it’s trying too hard to be strange, and I feel like it’s lost the peculiar charm that his earlier movies held.

But I’ve got to admit: this trailer actually works pretty well for me. The visuals look lovely, not cartoonish. My inner child has been successfully summoned; it desperately wants to go to this odd house with all its weird and wonderful magic. (My inner horror movie enthusiast, meanwhile, would be horrified–the twins remind me way too much of the kid from El Orfanato.) I don’t know how good the movie will actually be, of course, but I’m far more interested than I was a month ago.

Ben-Hur

I’m going to admit something right now: I’ve never seen (nor particularly wanted to see) the original Ben-Hur. In fact, I virtually know nothing about it at all, like I could not have described even a basic plot synopsis for you before today. So, certainly, the levels of cinematic blasphemy on display in this trailer are going over my head, but even as its own independent feature, this just . . . looks bad. Like, really bad. It basically seems like a dumber version of Gladiator and, upon reflection, was Gladiator really all that bright? Think I’m going to pass on this one, and by pass, I mean hold it off with fire and my fingers making the sign of a cross.

The Nice Guys

Oh, this looks pretty fun. It wasn’t anywhere on my radar–I literally just clicked it because it was on a list of Most Recent Trailers–but I love offbeat funny PI stories, and I know from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang that Shane Black can make those stories sing. Plus, I generally enjoy Ryan Gosling, and–despite what this year’s Academy Award ceremony gave us–he looks to be pretty funny paired up with Russell Crowe. I’m definitely interested in checking this out.

The Lego Batman Movie

Originally, I had little interest in The Lego Movie and only saw it because I kept hearing such great things about it from virtually everybody. I found the movie delightful beyond any and all expectation, and Will Arnett’s Batman, of course, was one of the film’s many highlights. So I will undoubtedly watch this at some point (like I’ll watch basically anything that has ‘Batman’ in the title), but I can’t help but wonder if this particular version of Batman might work better in a team rather than headlining a movie? I’m just hoping it doesn’t become one of those 90-minute films that basically tells the same joke over and over again.

Then again, I just looked at the cast list and was like HELL YES when I saw Rosario Dawson was voicing Batgirl. And I did smile pretty much all throughout the trailer, even if I was like . . . wait, the Bat Computer talks? The Bat Computer is Siri? We better not be editing out Alfred for a poor man’s JARVIS, you bastards. (Luckily, I’ve since confirmed that we aren’t. Alfred will be voiced by Ralph Fiennes. I hope he’s deliciously snotty.)

High-Rise

This trailer came out a while ago, but I must have missed it the first time around. It looks intriguing. Basically Snowpiercer if it wasn’t on a train and had Loki instead of Captain America. The film looks gorgeous and the cast is spectacular, but I’m wondering if this is going to be one of those movies where I either despise everybody, or arrive at the end and wonder what the hell I even bothered watching it for.

Still. I’m curious about this one. I’d definitely like to see some reviews.

And finally, Dead7

The Syfy original Weird Western featuring basically every 90’s boy band vs various members of the undead that you didn’t know you wanted, needed, or could possibly exist on this Earth. Isn’t it glorious?

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