Category Archives: EPIC REVIEWS

“No One Wants To Play With The Clown Anymore.”

Two years ago, Mekaela, Lindsey, and I all went to see It in theaters; I reviewed it here. (TLDR, it’s a fairly creepy horror film that–with just a little more work–could’ve been an amazing horror film.) I, of course, am a … Continue reading

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“Why Is There A Watermelon There?”

It’s the final week of the Clarion West Write-a-Thon and, coincidentally, my last week before vacation. Which means you probably won’t see me around much for a little while. Before I go, though, I have my second (and final) WaT … Continue reading

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“Say Goodbye To Classical Reality.”

I have something of a hit-and-miss relationship with John Carpenter’s work. I adore The Thing. I like Big Trouble in Little China. Escape from New York is enjoyable enough, but ultimately, I liked Snake Plissken more than the actual movie itself. Halloween … Continue reading

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“She Has Now Become Satan’s Prisoner!”

Well, that was predictable: for the sake of the 2018 Clarion West Write-a-Thon, I sold my reviewing services to the highest bidder–so to speak–and the highest bidder, once again, was Evil Tom. Now, Evil Tom’s initial plan was to make … Continue reading

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“I Feel Strange Sharing A Childhood Story Considering I Was Never A Child.”

Somewhat recently, The Dark ran a successful Kickstarter campaign that not only secured funding for two more years, but also raised their pay rates from .03 to .06 cents a word, making them a pro-paying magazine. This is awesome news … Continue reading

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“Let The Past Die. Kill It, If You Have To.”

So. The Last Jedi, huh? I saw this movie basically the second it opened, but I haven’t had the opportunity to write about it until now–although, of course, I’ve read everyone else on the internet analyze it to death. Per usual, … Continue reading

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

“I Know Your Mustache.”

I read my first Agatha Christie novel when I was eleven. By now I’ve read dozens, and while I always enjoy them, most have long since blended in my head, like half-forgotten Friends episodes or various bad Christmases. Murder on the … Continue reading

Posted in EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment