The 4th Annual Horror Bingo is About to Begin! (And You Should Play Along!)

October is just around the corner, which means it’s almost time for Horror Bingo! This will be our 4th Annual Horror Bingo, which works like so:

Every year, Mekaela and I separately come up with a list of 15 horror movies we’d like to watch or rewatch. In years past, we’ve always managed to avoid picking the same films; this time around, however, we both chose Nope and The Black Phone. (Nope will go into the bingo bucket twice, while The Black Phone will be our free space movie.) Throughout October, Mekaela and I will randomly pick these movies out of the bingo bucket (in actuality, our favorite skull jar) and watch them until one of us eventually gets BINGO. I’ll also be reviewing said movies here, of course, and if you’re inclined, you’re more than welcome to play along. All you need to do is this:

1. Make or print yourself a bingo card. (I use an Excel spreadsheet, but you do you.)

2. Put The Black Phone in the free space.

3. Fill out the rest of your bingo card with any 24 of the following horror or horror-adjacent films:

Lake Mungo
One Cut of the Dead
Bit
The Call (2020, dir. by Lee Chung Hyun)
Popcorn
The Omen (1976)
The Night House
Hell House LLC
The Fly (1986)
Tenebrae
Nope
The Abominable Dr. Phibes
Poltergeist (1982)
Ring (1998)
The Faculty
Battle Royale
Promising Young Woman
As the Gods Will
Pontypool
My Best Friend’s Exorcism
28 Days Later
Train to Busan: Peninsula
Sweetheart
Spree
Bodies Bodies Bodies
Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror
Blood Quantum
Rhymes for Young Ghouls
Halloween Kills

(Mekaela and I always draw our bingo cards randomly, but feel free to pick your favorites and/or be strategic, i.e., definitely put Nope somewhere on your card because the odds are obviously in your favor. We also have a few alternate movies in case one of the films above ends up becoming unavailable; for example, if The Abominable Dr. Phibes gets taken down from YouTube or if Bodies Bodies Bodies doesn’t end up streaming anywhere in October. The alternates won’t affect the game itself, just which movie I ended up watching and reviewing here.)

4. Cross out the appropriate spaces as I watch/review the movies. Watch the movies themselves if you’d like, and if you get bingo, feel free to gloat in the comments section! There are no prizes to be won, I’m afraid, but it is something easy and fun to do in the spooky season.

And that’s it! Let us all have a glorious October and pray that, finally, this is the year Pontypool and Lake Mungo actually get picked, for they have become the red-headed stepchildren of Horror Bingo and really deserve a bit of love.

TV Superlatives – June, July, August – 2022 – PART II

Hello again! It’s time to dive back into TV Superlatives, this time with ALL THE SPOILERS. (You can check out Part I if you missed it.) Here’s a quick reminder of all the shows I’ve been watching this summer:

Obi-Wan Kenobi
Another
Floor is Lava (Season 2)
Last Week Tonight (Season 9, Episodes 13- 22)
Running Man (Episodes 63-75 and 606-618)
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
Stranger Things (Season 4, Volumes 1 and 2)
Evil (Season 3)
Why Didn’t They Ask Evans?
Tomodachi Game
The Great Shaman Ga Doo Shim
Inspector Koo
Harley Quinn (Season 3, Episodes 1-7)
The Sandman
Soundtrack #1
Adamas (Episodes 1-10)
KinnPorsche (abandoned)
Baking Impossible (abandoned)
Resident Evil (abandoned)

Again, SPOILERS abound in this post. We’re gonna start off real light (the first award barely even counts as a spoiler, honestly) and then bounce straight into character deaths, so please do scroll with caution.

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TV Superlatives: June, July, August – 2022 – PART I

It’s that time again! Over summer, I watched a fair bit of television, definitely more than I managed during spring. Here’s a list of everything I’ve been watching, including the few shows I heartlessly abandoned for other things:

Obi-Wan Kenobi
Another
Floor is Lava (Season 2)
Last Week Tonight (Season 9, Episodes 13- 22)
Running Man (Episodes 63-75 and 606-618)
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
Stranger Things (Season 4, Volumes 1 and 2)
Evil (Season 3)
Why Didn’t They Ask Evans?
Tomodachi Game
The Great Shaman Ga Doo Shim
Inspector Koo
Harley Quinn (Season 3, Episodes 1-7)
The Sandman
Soundtrack #1
Adamas (Episodes 1-10)
KinnPorsche (abandoned)
Baking Impossible (abandoned)
Resident Evil (abandoned)

A quick reminder for how these work: superlatives may be bestowed upon any show I’m watching, no matter whether said show is currently airing or not. This summer, I’m splitting my superlatives in half, so Part I is generally spoiler free; however, I may discuss events from past seasons. For example, I won’t spoil Season 4 of Stranger Things, but any major revelations from Seasons 1, 2, or 3 are totally fair game. Also, I allow ties. Get used to ties because there are gonna be a LOT of them.

Let’s begin, shall we?

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TV Superlatives: March, April, May – 2022

Well. I’ve definitely been ignoring my blog lately. This is partly because of travel and partly because of writing, more specifically, because I started work on this fanfic that, Jesus Christ, has exploded into a novella-length monstrosity and has taken over my entire life. Which means I’m well past due for my Spring TV Superlatives, among other things. Unfortunately, I’m still trying to catch up on a bunch of shit and also, really didn’t watch as much TV as normal, so today we’ll be doing Modified TV Superlatives. (Don’t worry. I’ll still manage to make this post at least 1000 words longer than it needs to be.)

Here’s a list of everything I’ve been watching (and in some cases, abandoning) over the past three months.

The Guest
Running Man (Episodes 50-62 and 594-605)
Last Week Tonight (Season 9, Episodes 3-13)
Our Flag Means Death
The Crowned Clown
Tomorrow (abandoned, may return to)
Vincenzo (abandoned, may return to)
Moon Knight (abandoned for good)
A Black Lady Sketch Show (Season 3)
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (abandoned, will return to)
Star Trek TOS (Season 3, Episodes 4-12)
Nobody Knows
Don’t Call It Mystery

Today, we’ll briefly discuss most of these shows. (Not all. I’ll probably ignore the ones I gave up on.) You’ll be safe on spoilers unless you venture into the clearly marked Spoiler Section, where you will definitely see me rant about certain character deaths because gah. STILL so annoyed about it.

But that’s for later. For now, let’s begin with . . .

The Guest

Creepiest Moment; Most Horrifically Tragic Character; Longest Previously On; Grand Prize for Survival (TIE); Worst Plan (TIE)

A priest, a cop, and a psychic taxi driver walk into a ghost-infested bar . . .

I’d been meaning to check out this Korean supernatural horror-drama for a while now, and overall, I had a pretty good time watching it. (I wish I could find a decent trailer to link to, but it’s proving difficult. This FMV captures the tone and visuals pretty well, though, and I don’t think there are any big spoilers?) I do wish Kang Gil Young (Jung Eun Chae, AKA, the cop) got a little more to do in the Big Finale. And I probably wouldn’t recommend this one if you’re looking for something, you know, upbeat and lighthearted? Like, The Guest is all exorcisms and ghostly possessions and childhood trauma. (A few of my favorite things!) Not to mention, seriously, Most Horrifically Tragic Character can definitely apply to more than one person. I do think one character wins the tragedy competition, but it is, admittedly, debatable.

Still, if you’re in the mood for something a little creepy and a lot angsty with a bit of mystery and some fun side characters (Detective Go Bong Song is precious to me), you might enjoy this one.

(Also. I am not kidding about those Longest Previously Ons. Holy shit. I just clicked on a random episode to time this segment, and it was literally two minutes long.)

Our Flag Means Death

Favorite Canon Ship; Favorite Kiss; Favorite Individual Song (TIE); Favorite New Show (TIE)

Now if you do need something a little lighter and adorable, and you’re also a fan of queer pirates and shenanigans (and who isn’t), Our Flag Means Death might be more your thing. I generally enjoyed the first few episodes well enough (generally, because awkward comedy can be rough for me), but I was definitely sold in “Discomfort in a Married State” when Blackbeard and Stede meet for the first time. Taika Waititi is awesome in this, I adore his cute chemistry with Rhys Darby, and I am just so here for the actually canon Blackbeard/Stede ship. These two have so many cute moments—the wardrobe swap, the foot touch (spoilers in this clip, but also, God bless any movie or show that uses Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain”), THE KISS. This show has a pretty great support cast, too; I’m particularly fond of Jim, Oluwande, and Lucius.

Thank God HBO Max finally renewed OFMD for Season 2, cause otherwise, there was gonna be a riot. (Seriously, dudes. No need to wait for Pride next time. Don’t torment us like this; it’s cruel.)

Running Man

 Best Dance Scene; Favorite Betrayal; Best Product Placement; Favorite Scene Stealer

Just assume that I’m always watching this show. We literally have it on twice a week: Thursday is Classic Running Man Day and Sunday is Current Running Man Day. It is my silly time, and I need it, damn it.

Things this show is pretty much always good for: hilariously blatant product placement (in one episode, even the producer starts laughing and tells Jae Suk and Jong Kook to stop overdoing it), silly dances (So Min and Ji Hyo’s birthday dances for Jong Kook are fun, but Sexy Security Guard obviously wins ALL the awards—he needs to come back immediately), and betrayals (the face Jong Kook makes in one episode when Jae Suk betrays him, holy shit, I was dying). Ah, this show makes me so happy.

The Crowned Clown

Happy Korean Drama GIF by Eccho Rights - Find & Share on GIPHY

Favorite Sidekick; Favorite REVEEEEENGE; Favorite Holy Shit Moment; Most Unexpected Tears; Best Death; Worst Death; Favorite New Show (TIE); Favorite Individual Song (TIE); Worst Plan (TIE)

Oh, man. This show. This show. With a few notable exceptions, I’m not generally drawn to doppelgänger and identity swap stories, but I got super invested in this one: the characters, their relationships, the badass moments, the plot twists, the absolutely lovely score (my favorite song might be “The Way of Truth,” but it’s a very hard call, like, “Before Fall Down” is pretty amazing too, not to mention, uh, every other song). And the fantastic acting, my God, especially by Yeo Jin Goo and Kim Sang Kyung. NGL: I mostly checked this show out to see Yeo Jin Goo play batshit crazy—and whew, he does it well—but watching him flip back and forth between Yi Heon, Ha Seon, and Ha Seon pretending to be Yi Heon is especially a treat. And Kim Sang Kyung is wonderful here, too, particularly as we watch Lee Gyu’s dynamic with both Yi Heon and Ha Seon shift over time. There’s this one scene, especially, that just . . . oh, oh, my heart.

Really, though, this whole supporting cast is excellent. I enjoy Lee Se Young as So Woon (restrained, dignified, very different from her delightful role in A Korean Odyssey) and Jang Gwang as Eunuch Jo (I would die for this old man; his relationship with Ha Seon is so sweet). There are our villains: Jang Young Nam as the Dowager Queen (man, I love this actress, the notes she hits when she’s enraged) and Kwon Hae Hyo as Shin Chi Soo (this fucking guy, I swear to God). And I can’t forget about Yoon Jong Seok as Officer Jang, either (quiet badass, and cool to see in a more substantial role after a small part in The Guest). Truly, there is so much good about this show, so much to recommend . . .

. . . but by God, I hate the last 15 minutes so much . . .

List Use GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Meet me in the Spoiler Section, The Crowned Clown, because boy . . .  we’ve gotta talk.

A Black Lady Sketch Show

Most Welcome Return; Favorite Opening Credits

Man, I wish this show had longer seasons. Six episodes is not enough! I was super happy to see A Black Lady Sketch Show come back, mostly because this show is a delight, but also because I’m always excited to hear the new theme song and see the new opening credits. (They change every season.) These opening credits, in particular, are great because they vary a little bit with each episode. Like how Skye Townsend is playing “the rich jilted bride” in Episode 1, but by Episode 6 has become “the rich jilted bride who just committed murder but has no regrets because she killed for righteous reasons including exposing her now dead fiancé as the man who accidentally ran over Robin’s leg at her inaugural parade in the Maldives.” I mean, that’s perfection. No notes.

Moon Knight

Moon Knight Disney GIF by Marvel Studios - Find & Share on GIPHY

Most Unintentionally Hilarious Moment

. . . so, despite the fact that this show is only six episodes total, we gave up on it just two episodes in. Much as I like Oscar Isaac, Moon Knight just didn’t do much for me at all. I’m only bringing it up now because holy shit, that time when Ethan Hawke speaks “Mandarin,” like . . . let me tell you, I 100% do not speak Mandarin, watching a couple of C-dramas does not make me an expert on literally anything related to Mandarin, and even I was like, ” . . . are you shitting me?” If you’d given me three guesses on what language Ethan Hawke was speaking in that clip, Mandarin would not have been any of them. FFS, Marvel. Hire some people for this shit, Jesus.

Star Trek: The Original Series

Star Trek Slapping GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Best WTF Moment, Worst WTF Moment, Most Historically Relevant Moment, Character Who Most Deserves a Better Show; Worst Plan (TIE)

I know I’ve taken a hiatus—again—but I really am going to finish watching TOS sometime this year. In the meantime, “Plato’s Stepchildren” is extremely notable, not only for broadcasting the very first interracial kiss between a Black/white couple, but also for containing the Best and Worst WTF Moments, all in one episode. (The best, obviously, is the GIF above—good for every occasion—while the worst is when Michael Dunn rides on Kirk’s back like he’s a pony. Seriously. WTAF.)

Meanwhile, I just so desperately wish the supporting cast in TOS got, like, subplots and actual shit to do. I know this was the 1960’s, and it was legitimately a big deal to even have, like, a Black woman or a Japanese character onboard. I’m not arguing that, just, I want so much more from Uhura and Sulu. I want more of everyone, really, that isn’t in our Holy OT3, but Uhura and Sulu especially. You two deserve more than this!

Nobody Knows

Favorite Bromance; Most Improved Character; Favorite Like-a-Parent & Child Dynamic; Favorite Kicked Puppy Face; Favorite Plot Twist; Grand Prize for Survival (TIE); Favorite Individual Song (TIE)

I randomly stumbled across this show while browsing Pinterest, of all things, and decided to check it out, partially because I’m a sucker for a good mystery, and partially because of the support cast: I’d just enjoyed watching Jang Young Nam and Kwon Hae Hyo in The Crowned Clown, and had also recently seen Ahn Ji Ho and Yoon Chan Young in All Of Us Are Dead.

I do think the first half of this show is stronger than the second (where I feel like the mystery gives way to a slightly weaker cat and mouse thriller), but I still really enjoyed watching this one. There are some clever plot twists, a fantastic score (unfortunately, most of my favorite instrumentals—including “Grandfather Clock” and “The Long Sleep”—aren’t available on Youtube, but “The Secret Not Revealed” definitely got stuck in my head a lot),  and excellent acting all around. I really like Kim Seo Hyung as Cha Young Jin, our kickass female lead detective; she’s no-nonsense, clever, and goddamn, that woman gets me whenever she cries. I really like her relationship with Eun Ho. Actually, I really like all the kids quite a bit. Naturally, I enjoyed all the cast I was already familiar with—it was almost funny, how bad I felt for Kwon Hae Hyo after hating his character so much in The Crowned Clown. I also really liked Ryu Deok Hwan as Lee Sun Woo and Park Hoon as Baek Sang Ho. Sun Woo is such a delightful scamp, but also constantly looks like he’s on the verge of tears, like, you just want someone to hug this guy. Meanwhile, Sang Ho is, well,  one crazy motherfucker. (I actually have seen Park Hoon before in Descendants of the Sun, but I remember so little about that show; it only exists in my brain as a vague montage of Song Joong Ki, tears, and an improbable number of emergencies.)

Don’t Call It Mystery

Favorite Non-Canon Ship; Favorite Hair; Worst Hair; Worst Plan (TIE)

This quirky Japanese detective show was Mek’s pick, and for the most part, I had a lot of fun watching it. I like Totono as our lead Sherlock. He’s a college student with just the most amazing hair, a serious appreciation for food, and a deep reluctance to solve mysteries for the police department, even though they keep coming to him and interrupting his dinner. Poor Totono. He so rarely gets to eat his curry.

Don’t Call It Mystery has a pretty lighthearted tone, overall, but there are some surprisingly serious and affecting moments, and I definitely found myself invested in the (presumably non-canon) ship of Totono/Garo. (Although my God, Garo needs to fix his hair, STAT.) I’d be happy to be wrong, BTW, about the non-canon thing. It is possible; I’ve never read the manga. Mostly, I’m just hoping we aren’t actually going forward with a Totono/Furomitsu ship. In fact, if we could just kill off this one-sided thing Furomitsu seems to have for Totono, that would be great, too. In general, I would like Furomitsu to get an upgrade in Season 2 (assuming there is one), because even her subplot in the bonus episode doesn’t quite work as well as I’d like. (She gets a friend, who is fantastic; I 100% approve of New Lady Cop and their dynamic in general. But Furomitsu’s plans leave something to be desired, and the Lesson she supposedly learns, well. Without spoilers, let’s just say that I remain unconvinced that she actually demonstrated learning anything, no matter what the other characters insist.)

Finally, before spoilers . . .

Legends of Tomorrow

Most Painful Cancellation

You may have noticed that Legends of Tomorrow wasn’t on my Shows I’ve Been Recently Watching list, and that’s because I fell behind on Season 7 and haven’t yet caught up. I’ll admit, I wasn’t feeling the beginning of this season quite as much as seasons previous, and thus it fell by the wayside when I got busy. Still, I was absolutely planning to catch up because Legends is charming and ridiculous and laugh-out-loud funny, and unlike pretty much every other CW superhero show I dropped, I really wanted to see this one through.

Only then in May I found out that the show had been cancelled, which sucks for all sorts of reasons but especially because I’m pretty sure it ends on some kind of (now forever unresolved) cliffhanger, and I’m trying to decide if I even want to bother finishing it, if we’re only gonna end on some terrible, unhappy note. CW, you absolute bastards. I saw that awful, AWFUL Gotham Knights trailer. You’re cancelling my beloved Legends for shit like THAT? Unacceptable.

And now, let us continue into the . . .

SPOILER SECTION

SPOILER SECTION

SPOILER SECTION

SPOILER SECTION

I wanna wrap this up, so I’m only gonna talk about a couple of the shows that I mentioned before. First, let’s discuss . . .

Nobody Knows

Favorite Plot Twist; Grand Prize for Survival; Favorite Bromance; Most Improved Character

So, Eun Ho is a fifteen-year-old kid who ends up in a coma after mysteriously falling from the roof of a ten-story hotel. Of course, that’s far too high a fall for anyone to reasonably survive in real life, but Plot Contrivance is a powerful god, Eun Ho was definitely on the roof at some point, and salvation is a Big Damn Theme in this show, so sure, it was possible that Eun Ho had actually fallen from the roof . . . and yet, I wondered. Was Sun Woo’s disbelief that Eun Ho survived not just honest shock but also foreshadow? Was Sang Ho pushing that “miracle” narrative a touch too hard? Eun Ho falls, certainly, but was it possible that he actually fell from somewhere else?

It turns out, yes on all counts! Eun Ho, being chased by Sang Ho’s people, finds himself trapped on the roof and uses the emergency ladder to try and escape—but he only gets roughly halfway down before one of the bad guys gets hold of the rope and starts hauling him back up. Desperate, knowing that being captured will mean certain death, Eun Ho does the only thing he can think of—he jumps, trying to escape. Which means his survival is still pretty miraculous, considering that fall,  but not quite so damn impossible. It’s really a clever and nicely executed twist.

Also, I just need to mention that I became so damn invested in the unlikely friendship between Eun Ho and Dong Myung, Dong Myung and Min Sung, and just all three of these kids together. I adore sullen but sweet Dong Myung, sweet but frustrated Eun Ho, and, er, sweet-post-redemption Min Sung. This kid definitely improves over time. Another character who improves over time is the one total jerk cop on the team who apparently just . . . realizes he’s being a total jerk? And then, like, stops? It’s kind of neat, actually; I really ended up enjoying the dynamic of Young Jin’s team, especially once she starts actually being honest with them.

The Crowned Clown

Most Unexpected Tears, Best Death, Worst Death; Worst Plan

Before I get into extended ranting, let’s discuss the excellent death scene in this show. Actually, there are multiple good death scenes here—Lee Gyu is another very strong contender, sob—but nothing surprised me as much or hit quite as hard as Yi Heon. It’s a surprise partially because Yi Heon is a Big Deal Character, one of the two roles being expertly played by Yeo Jin Goo, a primary villain and a king gone mad. Upon starting this show, I certainly didn’t expect him to only make it halfway through before getting murdered—a surprise, but absolutely the right call.

But it’s not just the timing that’s a surprise. I was genuinely shocked by how heartbreaking this scene was. If you haven’t watched The Crowned Clown, let me tell you: Yi Heon is the actual Worst. I’m not saying he doesn’t have some cause, like, the kid has definitely had it rough: his dad never loved him, people tried to assassinate him, and advisors he should’ve been able to trust deliberately hooked him on opium and slowly drove him crazy. OTOH, dude becomes so monstrously paranoid that he orders the murder of his own adorable baby brother, like, seriously, this kid can’t be more than, IDK, 8? Yi Heon abuses his servants, orders his wife’s execution, and sometimes violently loses his shit and kills people. (Admittedly, not great people. Still, this man should not have access to a sword.) Trust me, we were rooting for Yi Heon to die during this show.

And yet when it actually happened . . . I mean, I wept. This scene is so heavy that Mek and I actually took a small break from the show. Yi Heon is so achingly vulnerable, so childlike, in this episode. The drugs have ravaged his body and mind to the point that he can barely hold a sword or feed himself; at one point, he barely seems to understand where he is. And then he’s betrayed ( justifiably so) by the only person that he trusts: Lee Gyu, his one loyal advisor since childhood, the man Yi Heon wishes was his own father. (You know, just to really dig that knife in.) The acting between Yeo Jin Goo and Kim Sang Kyung in this episode, just, gah. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s so GOOD.

Less great, unfortunately, is the death of Officer Jang and, generally, the whole ending of The Crowned Clown.

Okay, so. Here’s how this goes: in the last, say, 15 minutes of the show (give or take, I didn’t go back and count), when we seem to be at our relatively happy ending, Ha Seon has decided to abdicate the crown and go off to live in the countryside. For God knows what reason, he leaves the palace by himself, only Officer Jang knows that’s dumb, so he secretly sneaks out to protect him. Of course, Ha Seon is immediately set upon by a handful of enemies who stab him, and Officer Jang dies trying to protect his dumb ass. (It’s supposed to be worthwhile because we flashback to the moment when Officer Jang says that he wants to serve Ha Seon and die a glorious death while defending him, which, like. Technically? But writers, this is not a glorious death, especially considering he dies presumably thinking that he failed.) We then fast forward two years later and reunite Ha Seon (who survived, possibly—we’ll get there) and So Woon, who’s been waiting for him all this time. And . . . that’s it. That’s where the show ends.

And I’m like, okay, NO. Folks. Lovelies. I know I’ve ranted about many character deaths on this blog, but I haven’t been this unhappy about a lousy death scene in a long, long time. This is such a bullshit way to kill off an important supporting player. Unlike the other heartbreaking deaths on this show, Officer Jang goes out in such a shitty throwaway moment. The whole scene takes maybe less than a minute and feels incredibly tacked on for one last moment of cheap and unnecessary drama. The only consequence of this last minute attack is that it takes Ha Seon and So Woon a little longer to reunite. That’s it. That’s the whole reason Officer Jang gets killed. It’s so infuriating, especially because A) Ha Seon’s decision to leave alone is just unthinkably stupid, and B) the people who kill Officer Jang aren’t even cool villains! They’re just some nameless henchmen of the dead Queen Dowager, and FFS, there aren’t even that many of them! Officer Jang has definitely survived worse odds before, but now he bites it fifteen minutes before the credits roll? Nope. Fuck that. Don’t buy it at all.

It’s also worth pointing out that The Crowned Clown has a somewhat ambiguous ending because it’s been interpreted in one of two ways: either Ha Seon and So Woon reunite after Ha Seon nearly dies, OR Ha Seon also dies with Officer Jang, and his reunion with So Woon is actually in the afterlife. In which case . . . holy shit, that is not better. Not only is it a horrifically tragic and unnecessary twist to pull during the last few moments of a show, it also means that Officer Jang died for nothing. Seriously, NO.

I don’t regret watching The Crowned Clown, like, it legitimately became one of my favorite K-dramas, and I would still recommend it to people (with, admittedly, a pretty big caveat), but the way it ended . . . holy shit. Like, this honestly goes on my Worst TV Endings Of All Time list. Probably not as high on that list as other shows, say, Game of Thrones or Battlestar Galactica, but . . . yeah. It’s definitely on there.

Well, guess that’s it for now. Feel free to agree with me or argue with me or talk about the shows you’ve been watching in the comments, and I’ll be back with more superlatives in two or three months!

TV Superlatives: December, January, February – 2021/2022 – PART TWO

And we’re back! Welcome to Return of the Winter TV Superlatives: The Big Spoiler Edition. A reminder of the shows I’ve been watching for the past 3 months.

Midnight Mass
Guardian
Hawkeye (Episodes 4-6)
Nancy Drew (Season 3, Episodes 5-13)
Running Man (Episodes 36-49 and Episodes 582-593)
The Expanse (Season 6)
The Witcher (Season 2)
The Silent Sea
Ted Lasso
Yellowjackets
Happiness
All of Us Are Dead
Beyond Evil
Star Trek (Season 3, Episodes 1-3)
Last Week Tonight (Season 9, Episodes 1-2)

SPOILERS will start off light, but we’ll be getting to the plot twists and secret villains and such very quickly, so read carefully, my friends! (Seriously, read lightly if you’re even considering watching shows like Beyond Evil—WHICH YOU SHOULD. Remember, the Honorable Mentions are spoilers, too!)

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TV Superlatives: December, January, February – 2021/2022 – PART ONE

Now that we’ve hit March,  it’s time to discuss the last three months of television! Here are all the shows I’ve been watching.

Midnight Mass
Guardian
Hawkeye (Episodes 4-6)
Nancy Drew (Season 3, Episodes 5-13)
Running Man (Episodes 36-49 and Episodes 582-593)
The Expanse (Season 6)
The Witcher (Season 2)
The Silent Sea
Ted Lasso
Yellowjackets
Happiness
All of Us Are Dead
Beyond Evil
Star Trek (Season 3, Episodes 1-3)
Last Week Tonight (Season 9, Episodes 1-2)

A quick reminder for how these work: superlatives may be bestowed upon any show I’m watching, no matter whether said show is currently airing or not. As always, I will do my best to clearly mark all awards with appropriate spoiler warnings. I may discuss events from past seasons, however. Which is to say, I won’t spoil The Witcher, Season 2, without a heads up, but any Major Revelations from S1 are totally fair game. (Though that’s just an example, like. NGL: The Witcher didn’t exactly get a lot of love here.)

Also, I apparently had a LOT to talk about because by the time I was finished writing this post up, it was already over 8,000 words, which some might consider, you know, excessive. Thus I decided to split my TV Superlatives in half, which is . . . well, still an excessive word count, honestly, but that’s just how it goes at MGB. Part I is generally spoiler-free. The Big Spoiler Stuff will all be in Part II.

Let’s get started, shall we?

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All My Favorite Books of 2021

Last week, I posted a list of all the novels and novellas I read in 2021. This week, I’ll be discussing some of those books in a bit more detail, with categories like Fastest Read, Favorite Horror Novel, Favorite Sci Fantasy, etc.

As always, any book I read in 2021 is eligible for these superlatives because if I only discussed books published in 2021, well. Let’s just say this would be a much shorter list.

FASTEST READ

Truly Devious, The Vanishing Stair, and The Hand on the Wall – Maureen Johnson

This YA mystery trilogy (well, okay, it’s not technically a trilogy anymore) is delightful, and I quickly powered through each of these three novels. I want Ellingham Academy to be a real place, even though definitely nobody should ever go there because, yeah, all the murders. Still! Stevie is a great heroine and teen detective, and I really enjoy most of the supporting cast, particularly introverted writer Nate, who speaks the language of my fucking soul. The concept is fun, the humor is great, and I just really had a good time reading these. I’m definitely looking forward to checking out The Box in The Woods sometime later this year.

Honorable Mentions: Think of England – KJ Charles; The Poisoned Chocolates Case – Anthony Berkeley; Finna – Nino Cipri; The Final Girls Support Group – Grady Henrix; The Inugami Curse – Seishi Yokomizo; Network Effect – Martha Wells; The Decagon House Murders – Yukito Ayatsuji; Bryony and Roses – T. Kingfisher; Rock and Riot – Chelsey Furedi

FAVORITE BOOK THAT MADE ME CRY

The Memory Police – Yoko Ogawa

Oof. This one sits heavy in the chest. I can’t really discuss why without spoilers, but I can say that this is a story about loss, and each loss here is more strange and terrible than the last. The imagery is really quite lovely, and the ending ties the whole novel together so well. The Memory Police is fantastic, and I’m genuinely glad I read it, but damn, I was one big bundle of Existential Feels after finishing this book. Read with a comfort snack, or six.

FAVORITE GRAPHIC NOVEL

Rock and Riot, Vol. 1 – Chelsey Furedi

When I found this graphic novel, I didn’t initially realize that it had begun life as a web comic, but I figured that out when I devoured Volume 1, immediately tried to buy Volume 2 and 3, couldn’t find them anywhere, cried, and then found the whole series here to read for free—and read it, I did, all in one night. (I mean, I know that’s not a huge accomplishment—this is not a dialogue-heavy comic—but I appreciate anything that makes me feel that sweet must keep reading, must keep reading rush.)

Rock and Riot is about The Aesthetic. It’s a queer, 50’s, greaser romcom set in high school, and it is adorable; oh my God, is it cute. I love the main ship, I love all their friends, and the ending with the Prom is such pure perfection. 2021 was often pretty bleak, but this comic was a great pick-me-up.

Honorable Mentions: Die, Vol. 2: Split the Party – Kieron Gillen & Stephanie Hans; Goldie Vance: Volume One – Hope Larson & Brittney Williams; Princeless – Raven: the Pirate Princess – Book One: Captain Raven and the All-Girl Pirate Crew – Jeremy Whitley, Rosy Higgins and Ted Brandt; The Wicked + The Divine, Book 3 – Kieron Gillen & Jamie McKelvie

FAVORITE NON-FICTION

Ace: What Sexuality Reveals About Desire, Society and the Meaning of Sex – Angela Chen

One of my favorite things about this book is that it doesn’t approach asexuality from a narrow perspective. Angela Chen interviews a wide variety of people from all over the spectrum and specifically delves into the various experiences, stereotypes, and challenges that aces with intersectional identities come up against. The book also explores some really interesting ideas about compulsory sexuality and how experiencing sexual attraction in today’s society isn’t just considered the default; it’s automatically assumed to be superior to experiencing little to no sexual attraction, a perspective that’s omnipresent and needs to change in both queer and heterosexual communities. It’s a well-researched book, and I’m really glad I read it.

Honorable Mentions: Women Make Horror: Filmmaking, Feminism, Genre – Alison Peirse (edited by); Romancing the Beat: Story Structure for Romance Novels – Gwen Hayes

FAVORITE MIDDLE GRADE

Root Magic – Eden Royce

I didn’t read many middle grade books this year, but I’m so glad I picked this one up because the Gullah-Geechee rootwork here is just so interesting, and it’s exciting to read a fantasy novel set in this culture by an author who actually is Freshwater Geechee. Root Magic felt innovative to me, different than many of the MG fantasy books I’ve read before, and it’s something I wish I’d had the opportunity to come across when I was a child. I particularly like that this story gives multiple characters space for some moral ambiguity. People aren’t perfect here, but they do care, and I like that. There are also just some fantastically creepy moments in this book that I adored. I definitely hope to read more by Eden Royce in the future.

FAVORITE YA

The Valley and the Flood – Rebecca Mahoney

I initially discovered this novel because I love the author’s fanfic, and I’m so happy I did because it’s such an odd, fascinating, and moving story about surviving and living with trauma. It’s also funny as hell, and I love pretty much the entire cast of characters. I am, admittedly, a sucker for magical stories about weird little towns (this one has multiple prophets who are rated by their accuracy, it’s great), but I also really love just how much time and space is given to Rose’s emotional journey here. I wish someone would pick this up for a limited series because I would watch the hell out of it. So, like. Get to work, Netflix!

Honorable Mentions: Truly Devious – Maureen Johnson; The Vanishing Stair – Maureen Johnson; The Hand on the Wall – Maureen Johnson;  Elatsoe – Darcie Little Badger; Summer of Salt – Katrina Leno; Raybearer – Jordan Ifueko; Iron Widow – Xiran Jay Zhao; Loveless – Alice Oseman

FAVORITE ROMANCE

One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston

So, I really enjoyed this. It’s a very queer, very living-in-your-20’s kind of story, and I ship our main romance, which is obviously huge. (One of my biggest problems with love stories—within ALL genres—is that I either don’t care if the couple gets together or, worse, I actively don’t want them to get together. It happens more often than I’d like.) August, though, is pretty great (and another true crime solver—someone needs to write me the One Last Stop/Truly Devious crossover fanfic immediately), and I like Jane, too. I don’t know if time travel romances will ever be my bag, but trapped-and-displaced-in-time punk heroines from the 1970’s? Yeah, I’m here for that. Plus, I really love how this book dedicates so much time to August’s platonic relationships, too, primarily with her roommates Niko, Myla, and Wes. I was 1000% invested in all their friendships.

Honorable Mentions: Paladin’s Grace – T. Kingfisher; Frederica – Georgette Heyer; Think of England – KJ Charles; The Midnight Bargain – C.L. Polk; Bryony and Roses – T. Kingfisher

FAVORITE HORROR

Night of the Mannequins – Stephen Graham Jones

Oh, wow. Night of the Mannequins is a morbidly funny delight from beginning to end. It is also, hilariously, not quite the book I’d expected when I started reading the story because I must have misread or misremembered the back-cover blurb somehow? Honestly, though, I think that surprise actually made the novella even better, the slow unfolding as I realized, Oh, wait, are we—oh, SHIT, we’re doing THIS. It’s my FAVORITE NOVELLA I read this year, and such a perfect combination of weird slasher and disturbing psychological horror all in one. In the unlikely event I ever teach a class, and I want to do a lesson on voice? Night of the Mannequins will be one of the assigned texts.

Honorable Mentions for Favorite Horror: The Bayou – Arden Powell; The Final Girls Support Group – Grady Hendrix; The Secret Skin – Wendy N. Wagner

Honorable Mentions for Favorite Novella: The Bayou – Arden Powell; Finna – Nino Cipri; Here, The World Entire – Anwen Kya Hayward; Burning Roses – S.L. Huang; And What Can We Offer You Tonight – Premee Mohamed; The Haunting of Tram Car 015 – P. Djèlí Clark; And This is How to Stay Alive – Shingai Njeri Kagunda

FAVORITE MYSTERY

TIE!

The Poisoned Chocolates Case – Anthony Berkeley
The Decagon House Murders – Yukito Ayatsuji

Both these mysteries surprised me for different reasons, although it’s hard to explain exactly why without spoilers, which I’m reluctant to include even in the case of The Poisoned Chocolates Case, which is literally almost 100 years old. I first discovered this book while reading The Golden Age of Murder by Martin Edwards, and I’m so glad I picked it up. The format is so interesting. There’s very little actual investigation on the page; instead, it’s a group of self-styled detectives discussing their proposed solutions to a recent unsolved murder, and it’s an awful lot of fun, witty and engaging and rather meta in its “let’s poke some fun at these tropes” humor, which is extremely in line with Golden Age mysteries. I had a ball reading this.

Meanwhile, it’s no surprise I checked out The Decagon House Murders because any book with such a fun And Then There Were None premise is always an automatic read for me, but I have to give special kudos to this novel because the twist is so GOOD. I know some writers always get mysteries correct, but the truth is, I don’t: I have a tendency to overcomplicate things while puzzling out the many ways a story could go. Hell, I didn’t get The Poisoned Chocolates Case correct. (Parts, damn it. My theory seemed so sound, too!) But I’m not usually, like, stunned, either. The Decagon House Murders stunned me. It’s been a long, long while since I felt so blown away by a twist I didn’t see coming at all, and that was very exciting for me. One of the best surprises of the year. Also, yeah, I kind of want my own decagon house now.

Honorable Mentions: The Inugami Curse – Seishi Yokomizo; The Honjin Murders – Seishi Yokomizo; Truly Devious – Maureen Johnson; The Vanishing Staircase – Maureen Johnnson; The Hand on the Wall – Maureen Johnson; Fortune Favors the Dead – Stephen Spotswood

FAVORITE SCIENCE FICTION

Chaos Vector – Megan O’Keefe

The sequel to Velocity Weapon, this is an absolute doorstop of a book and also a wild ride, full of twists and turns that are like, Oh, shit. OH. SHIT! You’d think I’d be prepared for that after the first book, but damn. Specifics are difficult to discuss without giving anything away, but this is a fantastic space opera with a great lead heroine and several supporting characters that I’m invested in. There are still so many mysteries left to uncover in the third and final book, which is already in my To-Read pile—and like, not even my metaphorical someday pile. It’s in the stack of physical books towering over my desk. Enticing me. Intimidating me. Reminding me silently we’re heeeere.

Honorable Mentions: Network Effect – Martha Wells; The Galaxy, and The Ground Within – Becky Chambers; Finna – Nino Cipri; Riot Baby – Tochi Onyebuchi; The Memory Police – Yōko Ogawa; And What Can We Offer You Tonight – Premee Mohamed; The All-Consuming World – Cassandra Khaw

FAVORITE SCI FANTASY

Harrow the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir

Yes, it’s true, I did read Harrow the Ninth roughly a year after the rest of the world, but I got there eventually, damn it! And it’s an awesome read, one which definitely activated the Mystery Lover part of my brain, only in this case, the primary mystery is less all right, who killed this dude and more like, okay, but for real, though, what the FUCK is going on? I had an awful lot of fun trying to figure out, indeed, what the fuck WAS going on. (I got, IDK. Half of it?) Reading Harrow’s super traumatized, wildly unreliable, and goth as hell POV was pretty great, too. All of the characters are fantastic, TBH, and while this is—as one is legally obligated to point out—a very different book from Gideon the Ninth, it is still just as witty, wild, and fantastically weird as its glorious predecessor.

Honorable Mention: Iron Widow – Xiran Jay Zhao

FAVORITE CONTEMPORARY FANTASY

Piranesi – Susanna Clarke

I enjoyed Piranesi well enough while I was reading it, but it wasn’t until I reached the end that I truly fell in love with it. This is definitely one of those novels that throws you into the deep end right away, but it’s interesting to slowly piece things together, and that bittersweet conclusion just makes everything which came before that much more powerful. The prose is absolutely lovely, and I really like our MC, too, his kindness, how he takes care of the dead, his deductions—even when they’re wildly wrong. The whole story is gently melancholic, but I don’t find it unbearably tragic, either; in fact, I’ve actually been considering buying the book to reread it, which is very rare for me. (It may not happen because of the aforementioned towering TBR pile, but still. I’m seriously considering it.)

Honorable Mentions: Elatsoe – Darcie Little Badger; The Memory Collectors – Kim Neville; The Valley and the Flood – Rebecca Mahoney

FAVORITE NOT-SO-CONTEMPORARY FANTASY

The Once and Future Witches – Alix E. Harrow

I read this book relatively early in 2021, and I knew that no matter how many other awesome novels I read in the upcoming months, The Once and Future Witches was definitely making it on my Top Ten. I’m not always drawn to historical fantasy, but a story about witches and sisters and suffragists? Particularly one written by Alix E. Harrow, who writes some of the best, most striking prose in the business? Obviously, I was here for that. And the book is written beautifully, of course. There are so many good lines here. I became very invested in the relationships between the three Eastwood sisters, and I love all the rhymes and spells and stories. If you haven’t had the opportunity to read this one yet, you should definitely check it out.

Honorable Mentions: The Midnight Bargain – C.L. Polk; Paladin’s Grace – T. Kingfisher; Under the Pendulum Sun – Jeannette Ng; The Haunting of Tram Car 015 – P. Djèlí Clark; Bryony and Roses – T. Kingfisher; The Empress of Salt and Fortune – Nghi Vo; Raybearer – Jordan Ifueko; When The Tiger Came Down the Mountain – Nghi Vo

TOP TEN FAVORITE NOVELS + NOVELLAS OF 2021
(not in any particular order)

1. Piranesi – Susanna Clarke
2. Night of the Mannequins – Stephen Graham Jones
3. Chaos Vector – Megan O’Keefe
4. The Valley and the Flood – Rebecca Mahoney
5. The Once and Future Witches – Alix E. Harrow
6. Network Effect – Martha Wells
7. The Decagon House Murders – Yukito Ayatsuji
8. The Poisoned Chocolates Case – Anthony Berkeley
9. The Memory Police – Yoko Ogawa
10. The Bayou – Arden Powell

Because my system is imperfect, I always have at least 2 or 3 books on my Top Ten that I don’t have a specific superlative for, despite how awesome they are. I refuse to only discuss 8 of my 10 favorite stories of the year, though, so I’m also here to recommend the following fantastic novels and novellas:

Network Effect – Martha Wells

Okay, no one actually needs me and my readership of, like, 4 people to recommend Martha Wells. It is a well-acknowledged fact that Murderbot is The Best. But just in case you’re also playing catchup, Network Effect was an absolute delight to read. I am 150% here for the humor, the relationships, and all the Feels—you know, the ones that Murderbot pretends to not experience. IMO, Murderbot continues to possibly be the most relatable MC of all time, and I’m looking forward to reading Fugitive Telemetry sometime later this year.

The Bayou – Arden Powell

Would you like a spooky, queer, Southern gothic novella set in the 1930’s? Of course, you would, and that’s great because I have one for you right here! The Bayou is a super quick read and atmospheric as hell, and that ending, damn. Everything comes together so beautifully at the end of the story when All is Revealed. The horror is just so good here; also, I absolutely loved the writing, like, just so many good lines. This is the first work I’ve read by Arden Powell, and it will definitely not be the last.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

The Empress of Salt and Fortune – Nghi Vo; When The Tiger Came Down the Mountain – Nghi Vo; Harrow the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir; One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston; Here, The World Entire – Anwen Kya Hayward; Paladin’s Grace – T. Kingfisher; Fortune Favors the Dead – Stephen Spotswood; The Galaxy, and the Ground Within – Becky Chambers; Truly Devious – Maureen Johnson; The Vanishing Stair – Maureen Johnson; The Hand on the Wall – Maureen Johnson; Raybearer – Jordan Ifueko; Iron Widow – Xiran Jay Zhao; And What Can We Offer You Tonight – Premee Mohamed; Loveless – Alice Oseman

Yes, well, the plan was to only list 5 Honorable Mentions, but very obviously, I failed. Look, I read a lot of awesome books last year, okay? Be happy I kept it under 20.

Here’s to hoping 2022 is filled with even more fantastic reads!

TV Superlatives: September, October, November – 2021

It’s December, which means–well, a bunch of things, really, but today it means that I’ve come to talk about all the television I’ve been watching for the past three months. Here are the shows:

What If . . . ? (Episodes 1-5)
Star Trek: Lower Decks (Season 2, Episodes 4-10)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Season 8, Episodes 7-10)
Running Man/Classic Running Man (Random Episodes)
Black Spot (Season 2)
Last Week Tonight
Nailed It! (Season 6)
Squid Game
Slasher: Flesh and Blood
Yumi’s Cells (Ep. 1- 7)
Evil (Season 2)
The Great British Bake-Off (Collection 9)
Nancy Drew (Season 3, Ep. 1 – 7)
Hawkeye (Ep. 1-3)

A quick reminder for how these work: superlatives may be bestowed upon any show I’m watching, no matter whether it’s currently airing or not. As always, I will do my best to clearly mark all awards with appropriate spoiler warnings. I may discuss events from past seasons, however, without such a warning. Which is to say, I won’t spoil any of Nancy Drew, Season 3, without a big heads up, but any Major Revelations from S1 or S2 are totally fair game.

Shall we begin?

Continue reading

2021: Award Eligible Work and Recommended Short Fiction

Well, 2021 is nearing its end–it’s absurd, right?–so it’s officially That Time again. First, I’ll discuss my own writing; then, we’ll move onto my favorite short stories of the year.

In regards to my own work:

Forward, Victoria” – The Dark – April 2021 – (3900 words)

Ah, my latest slasher. TBH, I’m pretty fond of this one. There are a lot of obvious horror movie references here, but I was primarily inspired by the shifting lore of the Friday the 13th franchise. I wanted to play with legends and monsters and how they both evolve over time. (Also, I just really wanted to write my own Teenage Girl as Unstoppable Masked Killer story.) You may enjoy this one if you’re interested in queer horror, undead girls, angry girls, second-person POV, fatal high school reunions, and a variety of violent kills.

An Ever After Diverged” – Daily Science Fiction – March 2021 – (1000 words)

Ah, my latest fairy tale. I see I’m very on brand this year. This is a short, angry little piece about seers, bodily autonomy, and how quickly women’s lives are considered disposable. You may enjoy this one if you like upended fairy tales, feminist fairy tales, quick reads, reverse storytelling, visions, prophecies, and alternate endings.

Only Circles in the Sea” – Mermaids Monthly – August 2021 – (250 words)
I Am Not Your Tragedy” – Mermaids Monthly – August 2021 – (250 words)

The tiniest of mermaid stories! The quickest of reads! 2021, truly, was the Year of Flash Fiction for me. I’ve never been so lucky selling such short stories. (In fact, I have two more flash pieces coming out sometime next year. One in Nightmare, one TBA.)

“Only Circles in the Sea” is my prophetic mermaids story, and you may enjoy it if you like stories about loss, reunions, and the unfathomable magics of the sea. “I Am Not Your Tragedy” is my cyborg mermaids story, and you may enjoy it if you’re interested in rejecting ablest narratives and stories where sharks are bitey jerks. Both stories will take you less than five minutes to read and come with absolutely fantastic artwork by Clare McCanna.

All of these stories are eligible for Best Short Story in most major awards (World Fantasy, the Nebulas, the Hugos, the Shirley Jackson Awards, the Bram Stoker Award, etc.) Well. Okay, don’t nominate the mermaid stories for the Shirley Jackson or Bram Stoker Award. I haven’t written a murderous mermaid story. Yet.

With that out of the way, let’s continue. In no particular order, here are . . .

My Favorite Short Stories of 2021

1. “Eating Bitterness” – Hannah Yang – The Dark

Oh, wow, this story. There’s so much that I love here: the inherent creepiness of the second mouths, the disturbing burdens that mothers are expected to bear, the multi-generational attitudes and approaches towards duty, pain, and what it means to grow up. This story is dark, stunning, and gorgeously told.

Every evening we tie Mama down.

2. “Of Claw and Bone” – Suzan Palumbo – The Dark

I mean, goddamn. This one is fascinating, powerful, and goth as hell. We’ve got bone magic. We’ve got mobiles made out of tiny animal skulls. We’ve got the kind of abusive family dynamics that always kick me straight in the Feels. This one is all about mothers and daughters and validating different types of power and strength. I’m obsessed with it.

Your own skull is still in pieces, kept flexible to withstand the compression of the birth canal. There is no guarantee what kind of woman you will fuse into.

3. “Proof by Induction” – José Pablo Iriarte – Uncanny

So, this story is all about grief and mathematics, and while I can’t pretend to know anything about the latter, I really appreciate how this one handles loss, particularly when you’re not processing it the way people think you should. There’s a pragmatism to this story that greatly appeals to me; also, the bitter truth that no matter how many chances you get at a last conversation, it won’t be, cannot be, the closure that you’re looking for. A fantastic story all around.

“The Coda cannot change in the way that a person can, however; it cannot learn or grow.” Her eyes meet Paulie’s. “Your father’s soul is not in there. Your father has moved on.”

4. “We, The Girls Who Did Not Make It” – E.A. Petricone – Nightmare

I am, and forever will be, a sucker for a dead girl story. Or, as the case may be, the story of many, many dead girls. I love how this one gives so much time and space to meet each and every girl who was murdered, to know them both individually and as a collective group. This story is angry and unapologetic, and I like the fierceness of its resolution.

We wish we were she-demons with long claws. We wish the full moon rose and our stories ended with us picking our captors out from between our teeth. We wish we’d been stronger. We wish we’d lived.

5. “The First of Many Lies You’ll Tell Her” – Kelly Sandoval – Daily Science Fiction

I adore Kelly Sandoval’s prose. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but she always packs so much emotion, so much regret, melancholy, and love, into even the shortest of stories. Her work is outstanding. This particular story is all about the perpetual fear that goes hand-in-hand with being a parent, and while it took maybe three minutes to read, the words lingered inside my brain for much, much longer.

When they first lay her in your arms, you will relearn what it means to fear.

6. “A House Is Not a Home” – L. Chan – Clarkesworld

I’ve never bothered to make an actual Most Beloved Tropes And/Or Premises List, but if I did, “sentient houses” would definitely make the Top Ten. And this is easily one of the best sentient house stories I’ve ever read. It’s both a quick read and a gradual unfolding, and I just wanna give Home a big hug. A wonderful read with a perfect conclusion.

It is the truth that Home tells because Home has no choice.

7. “Pathfinding!” – Nicole Kornher-Stace – Uncanny

Ah, more of my favorite tropes: super soldier kids who are abducted/experimented on/raised by nefarious government agencies! The characters in this one are great: I love 06’s defiance, 22’s pragmatism, and the deep, utterly platonic bond between them. I love all the dark humor, particularly concerning the Director’s warped sense of her own heroism. This story is engaging, extremely quotable, and an overall delight.

They are fifteen years old, which each of them wears differently. 06: defiance, nobility, misplaced nostalgia, surgically precise rage. 22: indifference (false).

8. “One and a Half Stars” – Kristen Koopman – Baffling

Laugh out loud funny. This one is hilarious, biting, a pitch perfect satire of . . . shit, a whole bunch of stuff, TBH. How gynecological pain is brushed off as natural, harmless, insignificant. How ridiculously complicated basic troubleshooting and tech support can be. What does and doesn’t count as healthcare even though it is very obviously healthcare. And that last line? Jesus. Absolute perfection.

Before anyone considers buying this uterus, let me share a little story.

9. “Taking Control of Your Life in Five Easy Steps” – P H Low – Nightmare

Oh, I adore this story. It’s both darkly funny and deliciously unsettling, and I love the repetition, the absolute precision of the prose. This one is so sharp and concise, and some of these lines just snap. If you’re looking for a creepy sendup of unhelpful self-help articles, you have come to the right place.

Understand that your life is confusing because you are only a ragged reflection of a true person in a true world.

10. “Teeny, Tinman’s Fourth Wife” – Liza Wemakor – Anathema

I must admit that I’ve never seen The Wiz (at least, not in its entirety), but that didn’t prevent me from enjoying this story in the slightest. I love how Teeny talks about her own body. I love that she’s never ashamed of herself or her size; it’s just that she’s had the misfortune to fall in love with someone ashamed of his desire for her. Teeny struggles with her feelings for this tin-man who never deserved her, and the whole thing is a great read with a fantastic closing line.

When we heard the skin-girl and the scarecrow around the corner, I played dead per our protocol.

Finally, because I read WAY too many great stories this year, here are a bunch of Honorable Mentions:

Laughter Among the Trees” – Suzan Palumbo – The Dark
The Family in the Adit” – A.T. Greenblatt – Nightmare
From Witch to Queen and God” – L.D. Lewis – Mermaids Monthly
Ootheca” – Mário de Seabra Coelho – Strange Horizons
If the Martians Have Magic” – P. Djèlí Clark – Uncanny
Dragons” – Teresa Milbrodt – Strange Horizons
Six Fictions About Unicorns” – Rachael K. Jones – Uncanny