Category Archives: SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS

Year of Monsters: The Mummy

I adore The Mummy (1999). I adore The Mummy Returns. I do not adore The Mummy (2017) with Tom Cruise and Sofia Boutella, but to be fair, I only watched about ten minutes of it. Maybe it gets better. (It … Continue reading

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Year of Monsters: The Black Cat

Well, okay. Turns out, not every movie I picked was, strictly speaking, a “monster movie,” but to hell with it, right? There’s Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff and, like, a black cat or two running around. Also, post-traumatic stress and … Continue reading

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“A Pack of Vultures At the Feast: Knives Out, Beaks Bloody.”

Thanksgiving is a weird holiday, a stressful mix of good food, family dysfunction, and bullshit historical narratives. (Football and parades, too, if that’s your jam. FWIW, today also happens to be my birthday, and as you read this, I may … Continue reading

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“I Love You 3,000.”

For a while now, I’ve been trying to maximize my time and minimize my excessive word counts with my Triple Scoop Reviews; today, however, we’re going back to the old standard because Avengers: Endgame is kinda the end of an … Continue reading

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MEGA REWATCH – Mission: Impossible III

It’s been almost a couple months since I watched the epic fail that was Mission: Impossible II. Now, it’s time for the only M:I movie I’ve never seen before, the one where Ethan doesn’t quite succeed at living a double … Continue reading

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MEGA REWATCH: Mission Impossible II

I was not a fan of Mission Impossible II when it first came out almost 20 years ago. I was about 15, give or take, and I remember hating how the movie had changed gears from clever espionage thriller to … Continue reading

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“You Said Nothing Comes Back. But Something Has.”

I had every intention of seeing Annihilation in theaters; unfortunately, it only stayed on the big screen for roughly seven seconds before disappearing into the void, infuriating me to no end. However, now that I’ve finally had the opportunity? Honestly, … Continue reading

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