I’ve been super excited to see Atomic Blonde, ever since I first saw the trailer back in April. However, I couldn’t help but notice that there was like almost zero buzz about the movie after it initially came out, at least not on my social media. I figured that probably wasn’t a great sign, but I still wanted to check it out for myself, so Mek, Lindsey, and I all went to the movies last week to give it a shot.
Well. It’s got problems, all right. On the upside, Charlize Theron kicks some serious ass.
Sometimes, when I’m not around to entertain her with my sheer awesomeness, Mekaela watches movies without me. These are usually movies I have little to no interest in, and if they end up being particularly crazy and/or dumb, I’m liable to get Puppet Recaps, as I did with Now You See Me and Machete Kills. (Okay, they’re mostly Stuffed Animal Recaps. I don’t own a lot of actual puppets, only the Wile E. Coyote one. Regardless, they’re very amusing. I’d record one for you guys sometime, if I thought my sister would let me.)
But sometimes a movie comes along that is so spectacularly insane, it cannot merely be recapped with plushy toys. It must be shared with your fellow sibling. It must be a bonding experience for the both of you. Or so Mekaela claimed when she told me I needed to watch Death Race 2000.
For my part, I argued that Touch of Evil had been sitting on our living room floor for over a week, and maybe it was time to give that a try, since there are grave, grave Battlefield Earth level of horrifying consequences if I don’t finish watching my noir films by the end of the year. Problem was, we were being super classy with our choice of chili dogs for dinner that night, and, well. You just can’t be watching some critically acclaimed, black and white film noir when you’re eating chili dogs, right? Chili dogs are a meal best accompanied by ludicrous plots, terrible fashion, and unrepentant violence.
All in all, Death Race 2000 felt like the most valid choice.
Every year, there’s at least one movie I’m absolutely dying to see, and this year it was Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Events conspired against me — websites lying about movie times, a massive headache pulsing down the entire right side of my face and making me a little sick if the camera spun to fast — but I did it. I successfully watched my movie.
And it was awesome.
So, we rented a serious movie and a silly movie.
I’ll let you decide which one you think White House Down is.
It’s been far too long since I reviewed a mindless action flick. Like, it’s been at least a month, right?
I’ve seen S.W.A.T. at least a dozen times since it came out ten years ago. It remains one of my favorite silly, entertaining, no-thought-at-all-required action films.
Many years ago, I watched the original Red Dawn. I know I did. I actually remember sitting down to watch it. And yet . . . and yet it’s like the entire experience was wiped from my mind, like something traumatic happened that my brain overwrote to protect itself. Aliens, I don’t know. The point is, it’s all gone.
At some point, I may revisit that past trauma. In the meantime, I decided to just watch the remake instead.
This probably doesn’t come as a shock, I’m sure, but it’s not very good.
Very seldom do I ever actually watch Academy Award winning movies before they’ve received their Best Picture awards. This year was no exception.
I’m not exactly qualified to say if Argo should have won or not. I’ve now seen . . . ah . . . a whole two of the movies that were nominated for an Oscar this year. But I do think it’s a pretty damn good film.
I’ve been on a Chris Evans kick lately, so I decided to watch The Losers again.
It’s definitely a problematic movie, but I enjoy it all the same. And Chris Evans isn’t even the only reason! (Though, admittedly, he’s probably the biggest one.) Continue reading
It’s been a while since we’ve reviewed a cheesy 80’s action film, hasn’t it? I mean, it’s at least been a couple of weeks. I think I may be going into withdrawal.
There. That’s better.
I finally saw Captain America: The First Avenger last week.
I’ve never been a gigantic Captain America fan, so I really didn’t think I had any expectations going in. And yet, somehow, I still managed to find it disappointing.