Triple Scoop Reviews: The Witch: Part I – The Subversion, Death Bell, and Guns Akimbo

The Witch: Part I – The Subversion

Year: 2018
Director: Park Hoon Jung
First Watch or Rewatch: First Watch
Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, or Other: Netflix
Spoilers: Surprisingly, no
Grade: Chocolate

Oh, I really enjoyed this Korean SF/F action-horror movie. I confess to not totally getting the title (something lost in translation, perhaps), but the movie itself is a pretty good time. Kim Da Mi is excellent here as Goo Ja Yun, an amnesiac who ran away ten years ago from one of those evil government facilities that likes to experiment on children. (A very specific sub-genre I’m apparently a sucker for, considering Dark Angel, Stranger Things, The Pretender, etc.) I also like Go Min Shi, who plays Ja Yun’s excitable best friend, and Choi Woo Shik, who plays, well, Chaotic Evil. I very much enjoyed the latter’s work in Train to Busan and Parasite, but it wasn’t until I saw this movie that I realized, oh, he’s not just talented; he’s hot. Lots of people try for smirky evil hot but only manage smirky obnoxious. Choi Woo Shik is not one of those people.

The Witch: Subversion – Part I has a slow, steady build with an explosive third act, and I’m looking forward to seeing a sequel. (I believe a trilogy is planned?) There are other things to talk about; unfortunately, they all include spoilers, and I’d prefer not to get into those now. But the movie is an awful lot of fun, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who also enjoys a) this very specific sub-genre, and b) violence. Because there is most certainly violence. Obviously, I approve of this.

Death Bell

Year: 2008
Director: Chang
First Watch or Rewatch: First Watch
Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, or Other: Other – Youtube
Spoilers: Some. Mind the tags, in particular
Grade: Strawberry

This is apparently a hugely popular horror film in South Korea and was fun enough to watch, but ultimately, I’m pretty meh on the actual execution. I’m all about the basic setup, of course: a group of kids (and teachers) are trapped at a high school and forced to successfully solve a series of test questions, or else their classmates will be violently murdered. I like the idea of the bad guys here and their respective motives. I’d genuinely like to see this film remade by a different director with a better script.

But as is, I have several problems, like, almost none of the death traps work for me, not just because they’re such obvious Saw knock-offs, but because they’re way too elaborate and ridiculous to fit the actual scenario. (Some people are quick to accuse a horror movie of being a Saw knock-off just because its exceptionally violent and/or includes death traps, but these ones really do lack originality.) There is both a human and supernatural angle to this story; unfortunately, the supernatural stuff mostly feels mishandled. The last minute twist seems particularly cheap because it doesn’t feel supported by the actor’s performance at all–though it does, I suppose, at least make another character’s whole storyline less random in retrospect. (Still not terribly fond of it, TBH.)

Additionally, two quick notes: one, I’m all about horror movies acknowledging that girls have periods–seriously, I am all for it–but this mostly felt like an excuse for a weird upper thigh shot, so, eh? And two, any sympathy I might have had for one character completely goes out the window the second she realizes that everyone around her has mysteriously passed out and decides that this is a great time to put on her headphones, alone, in the middle of a school where multiple people have been murdered. I. You. What. WHY?!?!?!

Guns Akimbo

Year: 2020
Director: Jason Lei Howden
First Watch or Rewatch: First Watch
Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, or Other: Amazon
Spoilers: Not really
Grade: Vanilla

There’s a lot to like here, especially if you’re into over-the-top, gonzo action flicks like me, but there are also things that don’t quite land. For one, I’m not sure I’m totally buying our Big Bad; Ned Dennehy is okay in the role, but I feel like other actors could’ve done more with it. Neal McDonough, for instance, was made for this kind of villain. Also might’ve enjoyed Clancy Brown, who Mek suggested for some punk Highlander vibes. More importantly, though, Guns Akimbo has this weird tendency to throw in a moral now and then that just doesn’t work. Like when Miles (Daniel Radcliffe) wonders how long it’s been since he went outside without staring at his phone, and I’m like, bitch, that’s some weak tea satire; are you actually mistaking that for an original perspective, and anyway, who the hell is thinking “gosh, I wish I’d stopped to smell the roses” when they’re stumbling around after waking up with gun hands? I feel, too, that there’s a small but annoying thread of “anti PC culture” running throughout the film, an impression that only seems validated after remembering the controversy around director Jason Lei Howden. Yikes.

All that being said, I could watch Daniel Radcliffe and Samara Weaving in this all day. They’re both great here: Radcliffe has some absolutely phenomenal reactions–I am so down for all his absolutely bizarre post-HP projects–whereas Weaving is just as iconic here as she was in Ready or Not. She’s pretty fantastic in this, IMO. Not every bit of humor lands right (Rhys Darby’s character, sadly, feels like a series of punch down jokes, much as my Voltron geek girl heart hates to admit it), but a lot of the dialogue is genuinely hilarious; for example, I about died when Miles tried to cut off this cop’s tragic backstory. I like Nova (Natasha Liu Bordizzo), too; she doesn’t get much to do, unfortunately, but I did find her interesting. Also, Nerf Guy!

If you like the concept of Guns Akimbo, there’s a decent chance you’ll like the movie: there are some really fun fight scenes, amusing bits of meta humor, one or two solid surprise moments, and just a very enjoyable soundtrack. I’m actually glad I watched it; I just really wish I could tweak it some, too. And yeah, it’d also be nice if the writer/director didn’t entirely suck as a person.

“What Kind of Killer Do You Think Stops to Save a Dying Fish?”

Well, the Clarion West Write-a-Thon finished up last week, and I succeeded in writing things! Perhaps they weren’t the stories I should have been focusing on, necessarily, but it’s been a dark year, and it’s still only August. Sometimes, the joy of fanfic is more important than the projects that might someday get you paid.

Per usual, I offered up a movie review/essay as a possible reward, and two sponsors took me up on it. The first sponsor, Tom, has donated to the WaT several times now and has delighted in making me watch everything from classic SF that I’ve never seen (Dune) to laughably terrible movies about Big Foot that no one should see (Night of the Demon). Today, however, we’ll be discussing a film I have watched before, albeit not in a very long time: the late 90’s SF neo-noir, Dark City.

To my relief, it actually holds up pretty well.

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Clarion West Write-a-Thon: Final Week Update!

Top Secret Code Name of Current Project: Who Murdered Superman? (It Was Aquaman, Wasn’t It, I FUCKING KNEW IT.)
Current Pitch: Six Wakes meets Justice League Unlimited

Number of Creepy Blackouts: 2
Number of Hidden Weapons Discovered: 1
Number of Plot-Relevant Flashbacks: 1 . . . so far.

Song From Current Project Playlist: “Red Song” – Suuns

Goal Met: YES. I am DONE!

I’m happy to say that I’ve finished Chapter 5, and–save one last update I’ll be sending to sponsors over the weekend–I’m officially finished with the 2018 Clarion West Write-a-Thon.

Can’t lie: I’ve definitely had some chaotic weeks, trying to keep up with my self-appointed deadlines. Overall, though, I’m pretty happy with how this year’s project has turned out. Cause, like. I started a new novel! Admittedly, I’ll probably spend the next month rewriting, like, every chapter I’ve written for that novel, but still, we’re officially past the “I Have This Great Idea But Can’t Get Past The First 5 Pages, So I’ll Just Hop Over to One of My 67 Other Great Ideas” phase. I’m calling it a win.

As far as Chapter 5 goes: I have officially introduced my first flashback, and if you’re thinking, God, no, I’m still having Flashback Fatigue from Lost, cease and desist, please and thank you, dudes, I totally get it. But . . . yeah, the flashbacks definitely aren’t going anywhere. They are (as Starfire might say) most heavy with the plot relevance. Also, I think they’ll be fun, or anyway, I’m having fun writing them. I do, however, solemnly pledge that none of my flashbacks include mysterious tattoos or toy planes. Hand to God.

And . . . well, I guess that’s it. Honestly, I’m having a pretty good time writing this novel. I can’t say for certain that’s gonna translate into being good, nor can I proclaim I’ll be able to finish and sell it with any certainty, but I hope so on all counts. I’d like people to read this. I’d like to find readers who enjoy it as much as I do, at least right now.

Random Line From Chapter 5:

“Monsters,” she says blankly. “I hear monsters.”
That’s when Rosario starts to scream.

Clarion West Write-a-Thon: Week Five Update

Top Secret Code Name of Current Project: Who Murdered Superman? (It Was Aquaman, Wasn’t It, I FUCKING KNEW IT.)
Current Pitch: Six Wakes meets Justice League Unlimited

Beginning the Novel With a Character Waking Up: Check
A Character Describing Themselves While Looking in a Mirror: Check
A Dream Sequence That Provides a CLUE: Close enough

Song From Current Project Playlist: “Ghost” – The Acid

Goal Met: Holy shit, YES!

This novel already has so many no-nos in it. That mirror one, for instance. That’s like Numero Dos in the 10 Commandments of Writing:

Thou shalt not describe one’s protagonist by having her gaze into a mirror so she can awkwardly narrate all her physical features to the reader.

And hey, that’s a commandment for a reason, one I usually try to live by. However, when you’re writing a mystery about five amnesiac characters . . . I mean, that rule just become silly because OBVIOUSLY they’re going to scrutinize the hell out of these strange faces they don’t recognize, these faces that are apparently their own.

Last week, I said Chapter 4 would deal with clues and choices, which is still true. However, a huge chunk of it also deals with identity, especially gender identity; one character, in particular, is really struggling to conceive of who he is without the context of his past. I try not to be too prescriptive about writing rules (because as evidenced above, they’re really understood best as–say it with me in your best pirate voice–guidelines) but if you’re writing an amnesia story (a thriller, a romance, a slice of life, whatever) and you’re not making identity a central theme in your story? I kind of feel like you’re doing it wrong.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m doing it well. But hopefully, I can succeed. I’m really aiming for this novel to be both fast-paced and character oriented. I refuse to believe it has to be one or the other. (Feel free to provide inspiration, though, and tell me your favorite fast-paced, character oriented novels!)

Random Line From Chapter 4:

Shit. Is he picturing who he wants to be, or who he wants to fuck?

Clarion West Write-a-Thon: Week Four Update

Top Secret Code Name of Current Project: Who Murdered Superman? (It Was Aquaman, Wasn’t It, I FUCKING KNEW IT.)
Current Pitch: Six Wakes meets Justice League Unlimited

An Inconvenient Blackout: Check
A Mysterious Disappearance: Check
A Fair Amount of Blood Loss: Inevitably

Song From Current Project Playlist: Halo – MONO

Goal Met: Alas, FailWriter! continues.

Well. I completed Chapter 2, anyway.

While I’m aware I said this last week, I feel like I can still make my goal by tomorrow night, since I don’t go back to work until Sunday. Still, I hate being behind. It probably wouldn’t bother me so much, considering these are all made-up deadlines anyway, but if I ask for people to sponsor me with their hard-earned money, I feel obligated to actually meet my goddamn goals. You know, like a professional.

On the upside, Chapter 3 isn’t going bad so far. I’m really looking forward to Chapter 4, where I think the characters will finally have a little more time to properly investigate who and where they are. Thus far, they’ve spent the majority of their time either finding one another or reacting to all the scary shit that keeps happening. Not that I’m having a terrible time terrifying my characters, of course; being mean to your MCs is one of the finest sadistic pleasures that the artistry of writing has to offer. Still, I have ALL THESE CLUES that no one’s found yet, and I’m excited to see how my characters react when they do find them. The choices they make (who to trust, what to reveal, what to conceal, etc.) will depend greatly on how they interpret these clues, so yeah, I’m excited for all that. Interpersonal dynamics is where I live, yo.

Random Line From Chapter Three:

“Wait, you two aren’t gonna go and leave me like this, are you? With some probable Jigsaw shit going on out there? Uh-uh, fuck you, no thanks.”

Clarion West Write-a-Thon 2018: Week Three Update

Top Secret Code Name of Current Project: Who Murdered Superman? (It Was Aquaman, Wasn’t It, I FUCKING KNEW IT.)
Current Pitch: Six Wakes meets Justice League Unlimited

Character Stepping On A Dead Body: Check
Character Waking Up Slightly Impaled: Check

Character Bursting Into Hysterical Laughter: Obviously.

Song From Current Project Playlist: In A House (In A Heartbeat) – John Murphy

Goal Met: Not yet

In a late Season 3 episode of The Flash, Leonard Snart, master thief, explains The Four Rules of a Successful Heist:

1. Make the plan
2. Execute the plan
3. Expect the plan to go off the rails . . .
4. . . . throw away the plan.

This is, honestly, a more-than-fair assessment of just how my writing process works.

I finished a draft of Chapter 1 last week, and I felt good about it–sure, the draft wasn’t great and I finished it just under the wire, but hey, win by an inch or a mile, right, and besides, first drafts aren’t actually about being sellable. They’re about discovery, about reaching The End, about giving your story somewhere bigger and better to live than just the solitary space inside your head. I often rewrite as I work, but considering my weekly Write-a-Thon deadlines, I decided to avoid that as much as possible here. The plan was to push through until the six weeks were over; then I could go back and fix all the frustrating inconsistencies.

Obviously, Week 3 was all about Step 4.

The problem was this: after finishing the chapter, I realized there was just too damn much I wanted to change. And that’s the thing about mysteries, you know. The setup is kind of important. The biggest change I needed to make was to one of my POV characters. Let’s call her BC. Originally, I introduced BC in Chapter 1, which seemed fine. By the time I got to the end of Chapter 1, though, I realized I wanted to end it on this mini-cliffhanger. And with that cliffhanger in mind, I realized BC’s introduction could be so much more dynamic (and creepier) if I waited until Chapter 2. Which then meant I had to rewrite half the goddamn first chapter. Naturally, it took most of the week to do so, because life gets busy sometimes, and because it was absolutely vital I helped my friends kick ass on Trivia Tuesday. (I’m more valuable in some categories than others. In Science Fiction, for instance, I proved useful. When Spirits & Liquor came up, I was basically just there to look pretty.)

So, yes, I’m behind. Again. But I made some solid progress last night, and I expect I’ll manage to finish up by the end of Saturday. More importantly, halfway through the Write-a-Thon, people! With any luck, I’ll successfully complete this and get back to posting about TOS episodes and terrible movies soon!

Random Line From Chapter Two:

Flesh has a very distinctive bounce.

Clarion West Write-A-Thon 2018: Week Two Update

Top Secret Code Name of Current Project: Who Murdered Superman? (It Was Aquaman, Wasn’t It, I FUCKING KNEW IT.)
Current Pitch: Six Wakes meets Justice League Unlimited

Mysterious Bloody Footprints: Check
Mysterious Gunshot 
Wounds: Check
More Questions Than Answers: Double Check

Song From Current Project Playlist: “Taijin Kyofusho” – The Evpatoria Report

Goal Met: Nope

I’m starting to think I set a slightly too ambitious goal for myself.

Beginnings are a pain in the ass. It’s not that this novel is off to a bad start; it’s just off to a slow one, as I try to figure out what clues need to be given upfront and which POVs I want to begin with. That latter consideration is a big one to me; the whole idea of this novel came from the desire to see better “We’re Stuck In a Death Box Together And We Don’t Know Who We Are And/Or How We’re Connected” stories. Frequent readers of this blog will recognize that sub-genre of film is one my sister and I are hopelessly attracted to, like moths to a particularly disappointing flame. And while I’m not yet a screenwriter (who knows, maybe someday), I thought I could write the story I was dying to see as a novel instead. Only with superheroes, cause, you know. SUPERHERO MURDER MYSTERY, Y’ALL.

One of the things I want this novel to be, more than anything else, is a true ensemble. A lot of amnesia mysteries heavily focus on one protagonist. Other characters might have amnesia too, of course, but the audience is introduced to the world through this MC’s eyes, invited to primarily sympathize with (or primarily distrust) them in particular. Because whatever the Big Twist is in the story, whether our MC is secretly The Good Guy Who’s Only Pretending to be Evil or actually The-Bad-Guy-Who-Is-Now-All-Redemptive-And-Shit, it’s always going to center on them.

That’s . . . not a bad story? But it’s also one I have very little interest in telling. What I want is something closer to Anyone Can Die, except instead of dying, I want Anyone Can Be the Villain or Anyone Can Be The Hero or–what’s more appropriate for this particular novel–Everyone Is A Fully Realized, Morally Ambiguous Bastard Who Sometimes Does Bad Stuff For Understandable Reasons. What I really want, so, so much, is a mystery full of solid suspects, where every character’s identity and relationships matter and where no one’s around just to be a super obvious red herring.

Am I going to be successful in that endeavor? Shit, I don’t know; like I said, I’m not even done with the first chapter yet. (I’m almost there!)

Best get back to writing and figure it out.

Random Line From Chapter One:

Dissociative amnesia, perhaps. Psychological trauma. She IS wearing a dead man’s blood, so it’s not completely out of the question.

Clarion West Write-A-Thon 2018: Week One Update

Top Secret Code Name of Current Project: Who Murdered Superman? (It Was Aquaman, Wasn’t It, I FUCKING KNEW IT.)
Current Pitch: Six Wakes meets Justice League Unlimited

Number of Amnesiac POV characters: 5
Number of Important Backstory Events Planned Out: 3
Number of Dead Bodies: 1 . . . so far 

Song From Current Project Playlist: Batman Theme (1966)

Goal Met: Almost

I am not a gardener, not in any definition of the word. If I mean to write something, especially if it’s long, a mystery, or both, I’m gonna need some blueprints to work from. Admittedly, I don’t always follow my own blueprints, but I feel a lot less anxious at the start if I at least have something resembling a plan.

This week has been all about Crafting the Plan, and while I’m not quite done yet, I’m feeling good about the progress I’ve made so far. This particular novel (or possibly novella) idea has been rattling around in my head for literal years, and it feels good to seriously start work on it. In fact, I’ve already identified a problem and since course-corrected: there were just too many characters for the story I wanted to tell. More characters mean more suspects, which obviously I enjoy, but too many suspects usually means a watered down mystery where supposed main players are clearly extraneous and thus easily discarded as possible culprits. Once I considered combining a few of my characters, though, I realized I had a much tighter mystery taking shape.

I also spent some time working out my Timeline of Important Events, not of what takes place during the novel but rather what leads up to it. I’d do this before tackling any mystery, of course, but it seemed especially important with this particular project, considering I start my story with a bunch of characters who don’t know who they are, what’s going on, or why there’s a dead superhero in the room. It seemed important I knew at least marginally more than they did.

Now armed with a bunch of secrets (SO MANY SECRETS) and a handful of origin stories, I feel like I’m in a much better place to actually, you know, begin the novel next week. Please do not expect any such optimism to persist on this blog. That’s simply not how we do things here at My Geek Blasphemy.

Finally, a Random Line From the Notes Without Any Context:

The Dead Guy Principles:
Thou shalt not murder

“Bulletproof. Blind Ninja. Whatever It Is You Are.”

So, I haven’t been here as regularly as I’d like to, and unfortunately that’s probably not gonna change anytime in the near future. I have Novel Writing Deadlines to meet, which means I’m instituting a hard rule for myself: no playing around on MGB until I’ve at least finished my weekly writing goal. Luckily, I’m doing pretty well on that right now, which means I get to talk about The Defenders. Which THANK GOD, cause y’all know I’ve got thoughts on The Defenders.

I’m gonna try to keep this brief, but let’s be real here. Brevity isn’t my strong suit, and we’ve definitely got some things to discuss.

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Coming Soon-Ish: Okja, Star Trek, Superheroes, And Lady Wrestlers

Star Trek: Discovery

I’m gonna watch this cause, like, Star Trek, but I’m only so-so on the trailer and it’s probably gonna need to hook me fast. Cause this CBS All Access crap? Bullshit.

Initial random thoughts:

A. Great to watch awesome ladies Sonequa Martin-Green and Michelle Yeoh share the screen.

B. Wish I had some measure of assurance that Michelle Yeoh is going to make it past the first episode, considering her ship isn’t the titular Discovery and it looks like something bad is about to go down. (IMDb has her listed for 13 episodes, but . . . IDK. I still worry. If she makes it past the pilot, then I guess I can graduate to concern about her surviving the first season . . . assuming the show does well enough to have a second season, which I think is a big if at this point.)

C. I’m totally cool with James Frain as Sarek.

D. I’m interested in our MC’s backstory. Is she a human raised on Vulcan? She seems to have rounded ears, so I’m assuming she isn’t half-human and half-Vulcan, although introducing more genetic diversity into the universe wouldn’t be the worst idea ever.

E. Still kind of bummed this is a TOS prequel.

F. Still deeply not okay with how we’ve changed the Klingons AGAIN. How do they keep looking worse? (TNG Klingons for life!)

G. Happy to see Doug Jones appears, as always, to be playing the weirdest and most ominous character in the show. Love you, Doug Jones.

The Orville

Can’t discuss Star Trek without discussing our new Star Trek spoof, The Orville.

I could give this a try. I’m not sold on this being the next Galaxy Quest or anything, but parts of it did make me laugh. Like the crew listening in on the captain and his ex-wife XO (Bobbie!) arguing, and acknowledging, oh, this is gonna be a fun trip. That whole part was great. Also, the anti-banana ray bit. Other jokes fall pretty flat for me, though, so my interest is there . . . but mild.

Okja

I’ve been interested in this one for months, so I’m excited to finally see a full-length trailer for it. The story presented thus far is only so-so for me, but I like the look of the trailer, I’m interested in seeing more of Bong Joon-ho’s work (I swear, I SWEAR, I will finally watch The Host this year), and oh my God, the cast is amazing: Tilda Swinton, Steven Yeun, Paul Dano, Giancarlo Esposito, Jake Gyllenhaal, Shirley Henderson, Devon Bostick, and Choi Woo-sik, who I just watched in Train to Busan. (Although, not gonna lie: I’d probably just watch this for Steven Yeun alone.)

GLOW

OOOH. This looks FUN.

Like Okja, I’ve been interested in this one for months, ever since looking up what Betty Gilpin was up to and finding out she, Alison Brie, and Ellen Wong were all going to be in a show together, like, YES, these are all ladies I’ve hoped to see more from. (Maybe especially Wong, who sadly doesn’t really feature in this trailer, but who I adored in Scott Pilgrim and haven’t seen much of since, with the exception of her guest-starring in Dark Matter.)

But it’s not just the cast. This show looks funny and feminist as hell. I love the bit about the man’s part versus the woman’s part (it’s funny because it’s true). Also: the alpha/omega/submit joke, the blood/tits/storytelling joke, and the ‘you mean stereotype’/’exactly!’ joke. Plus, just some of the ridiculous costumes: sexy lady astronaut, anyone?

This is the extremely rare non-speculative and/or non-mystery show that I’m actually geared up for. I definitely plan to check this one out.

Dark Matter

Speaking of Dark Matter.

I was pretty lukewarm on this show during the first season (although it did pick up towards the end), but I really enjoyed the hell out of second season, and now that we’re back for a third? Baby, I’m there. This trailer doesn’t tell you too much, other than Ryo has become our new villain. Curious to see if he’ll stay that way; he did betray the team, although not quite to the extent that they believe. Doubt Ellen Wong is going to make it, but happy to see that she’s coming back too.

Looks like I’ll be marathoning this on Netflix to remind myself of everything that happened. And to watch every Android scene possible cause let’s be real: we’re ALL here for the Android, right? She’s the best.

The Gifted

I’m . . . sort of interested in this? Like, I kinda like that it centers on a family, specifically a brother and sister. Mom is the most interesting, of course, because she’s played by Amy Acker. Bill from True Blood is fine, too. But there’s nothing about it that’s exactly drawing me in, either. Perhaps even I’m getting a bit worn out on new superhero shows, or at least ones that aren’t doing anything fantastically different. This is kinda different, but . . . I don’t know. I might try it, but if I do, it’ll probably be mostly for Amy Acker.

Black Lightning

Speaking of superhero shows.

I’m actually a little more interested in this one, despite the very CW voiceover that I’m hoping will go away after the pilot. CW superhero shows generally skew young, so having a middle-aged family man and high school principal as a superhero is kind of a bold move for them. Also nice to see what looks to be almost entirely a black cast. I am disappointed, though, to hear that Black Lightning won’t be a part of the CW superhero multiverse, like, that just feels like a missed opportunity to me.

I’m not sold, but I’m sure I’ll check this one out for at least a few episodes.

The Crossing

Meh. I might try this. The shot of all the bodies in the water is great, like, that’s just a fantastically haunting, creepy image. And this could be an interesting way to tell a story about refugees and the serious problems with our established immigration system . . . but for some reason, my hopes aren’t high. Obviously, I like me a good speculative element, but the whole ‘time travel into the past to escape the war that’s coming’ thing isn’t quite working for me, maybe because it seems like a pretty short-sighted plan for time travelers, or maybe just because as much as I like trying them, most time travel stories don’t end up working for me.

If I hear good things, I might give this a whirl, but as is, I’m not that interested.

The Good Doctor

Although. I would watch The Crossing 24 billion times over before I watched this show. No. So much no.

This is one of those shows that looks like it’s going for inspirational (admittedly, not really my bag) and is landing somewhere around offensive instead. And let me be clear: I am absolutely not an expert on autism, and I welcome the comments of anyone who knows more on the subject than me, but . . . we seem to have problems here. Briefly putting aside that this is yet another show about A Super Special Dude With Poor Social Skills Who Sees Things No One Else Sees, and even putting aside that this show appears to be portraying autism in the Standard Hollywood Way (savant, speaks in a stilted, almost robotic manner, etc.) . . .  what I mostly take from this trailer is that people on the autism spectrum aren’t capable of being surgeons, and the only reason that this guy can is because he’s a savant, like, no one else on the spectrum could possibly do it. Which, like, no. Pretty sure that’s not the case.

To be clear, a show about the difficulties that people on the autism spectrum face, specifically in regards to workplace discrimination, would be totally fine. I think that maybe that’s what this show is trying to be, but based on the trailer, I don’t think that’s what it is. There are a lot of solid actors in this–Freddie Highmore, Richard Schiff, Antonia Thomas, Nicholas Gonzalez, Tamlyn Tomita–but not one of them would make me give this a shot. No, Richard Schiff, not even you.

American Assassin

Man. I want to be interested in a movie where Dylan O’Brien is playing both a grown-up and a badass, but . . . oh God, not this.

Generic ass title? Check. Refrigerated girlfriend? Check. Angst beard? Double check. Islamophobia? Probably. I’m torn on Michael Keaton’s character: he could be a mentor that dies, but I’m kind of getting a diabolic double agent twist or something from him? I don’t know, maybe not. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to watch this movie to find out, either. I’ll just be here, re-watching the episodes of Teen Wolf that make me happy, like, mostly ones prior to 6A. Sigh.

Finally . . . Blade Runner 2049

I kind of need to watch the original Blade Runner again. It’s been years since I’ve seen it, and I feel like I missed half of what was going on anyway, since I had to keep the volume real low (I was trying not to wake somebody up).

The look of this sequel is pretty great: dark, gorgeous, uber cinematic. But because I don’t have much feeling about the original film one way or another, my interest in this is only mild. At this point, I figure I’ll probably watch it eventually, but I doubt I’ll see it in theater unless somebody I know really wants to go.