I finished reading The Name of the Rose a few weeks ago and decided I absolutely had to watch the 1986 film adaptation, mostly because it starred Sean Connery and Christian Slater as detective monks, and who wouldn’t want to watch that?
I’ll admit, I was kind of hoping it would be gloriously cheesy. Instead, it was just sort of . . . okay.
A while ago, my friend Rob got his hands on a huge stack of absolutely terrible horror movies and, knowing our passion for such films, sent the entire collection to my sister and I because Rob is, quite truly, the best. The one that really called to me, though, the one that just begged to be watched, was Tales From the Darkside: The Movie, mostly because of this cast: Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Christian Slater, Rae Dawn Chong, James Remar, and Deborah Harry.
It definitely seemed like a good candidate for Bloody Hearts, but when I realized that it was also an anthology film, just like V/H/S, it seemed like destiny.
Destiny is hilarious.
The 2012 Bloody Hearts fest begins with a horror movie that’s so bad, it holds a 1% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and is widely considered to be one of the worst films of all times.
This is my first Uwe Boll movie, and I feel certain that my life will never be the same again.