Tag Archives: How Can You Possibly Be This Terrible Without Trying?

Coming Soon-Ish: The Snowman (AKA, The Only Movie You Ever Need to See)

First, some backstory. Last night, my friend, my sister, and I all went to the movies. We were there to see Atomic Blonde, which I’ll probably review next week; however, the true highlight of the night ended up being this … Continue reading

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“We’re Bad Guys. It’s What We Do.”

So, Suicide Squad was out for about a week before I had the opportunity to see it, and the reviews in that week were . . . not kind. I’d heard from a few people directly who enjoyed the movie, … Continue reading

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“I’ve Been Dying A Little Bit Each Day Since You Came Back Into My Life.”

Well. I finally started up my Great Star Wars Re-Watch again with Episode II – Attack of the Clones. Man. This movie might actually be worse than I remembered, and I didn’t even like it the first go-round.

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So, The X-Files . . . I No Longer Believe

(I know. I’m sure everyone’s using that headline, or some variant of. I can’t make myself care. The X-Files sure didn’t.) When I first heard that The X-Files was returning, my interest was rather low. It’s not because I didn’t like The … Continue reading

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“Mr. Cop, Can You Put Away Your Gun? Cause You’re Making Everybody Nervous.”

Valentine’s Day has come and gone. You know what this means. So-Bad-It’s . . . no, it’s really just bad horror. Your entry for this year’s Bloody Hearts is a spectacularly terrible film called House of Nine, a movie that’s … Continue reading

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“Shit Happens? That’s It? That’s What I Get? Fucking Wisdom?”

So, I’m a quitter. If I decide I don’t want to do something anymore, or it just isn’t worth my time, I’m done. I’m not terribly ashamed of this almost-certain character flaw, but it does sometimes come with devastating consequences, like when … Continue reading

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“Have You Guessed Who The Werewolf Is?”

Splatterfest 2015 has come and gone. Junk food was procured and devoured, bad horror movies were rented and voted upon. The movie my friends chose to watch: The Beast Must Die, a 1974 horror whodunnit starring Grand Moff Tarkin and Albus … Continue reading

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