Tag Archives: I Hate the Last Five Seconds in Every Horror Movie

“Be Good To Him, And He Will Be Good To You.”

Splatterfest is poorly named. Despite the wide variety of choices my sister and I select every year, my friends–oh yes, friends, I’m throwing you under the bus!–always select the least gory contender to watch and mock. Which doesn’t mean there’s any … Continue reading

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“So, What WERE You Gonna Be When You Grew Up?”

Being October and all, I figured it was time to go back to the Friday the 13th series. When we last left off in A New Beginning, Tommy Jarvis had picked up Jason’s mask and looked about ready to stab … Continue reading

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“I Am Turning Thirty Next Week, and I Just Want to Go Home and Grow Oranges!”

A few months ago, I went to San Francisco. I don’t make it out to SF all that much, primarily because I don’t have a car and it’s a long damn bus ride. But when I do go, I usually try … Continue reading

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“Michael Myers is My Business.”

My friend Kirsten wrote me and said that she had, for some unknown reason, decided to watch Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers. She’d also written a review and was like, “Hey, do you want this?” What I heard: “Hey, Halloween’s around … Continue reading

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“Well, OBVIOUSLY, Participation is No Longer Voluntary.”

Happy Valentine’s Day, people. Please put your candy and/or sweetheart aside and come along with me on our continued snarky journey through bad horror movies. Today we’ll be concluding Bloody Hearts with our review of Would You Rather. It is an … Continue reading

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“Don’t You Just Love Happy Endings?”

A while ago, my friend Rob got his hands on a huge stack of absolutely terrible horror movies and, knowing our passion for such films, sent the entire collection to my sister and I because Rob is, quite truly, the … Continue reading

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“Hell Is Only A Word.”

My friend Denise was a little horrified to discover that I’d never seen Event Horizon before. Clearly, we had to correct that. It’s a fun, gruesome sort of way to spend two hours.

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