“Okay, I’m Just Going to Come Right Out and Say I Have No Idea What’s Going On.”

While I was in Reno last weekend, a super-hyped and nerdtacular movie called Godzilla came out. I did not go and see it. I thought about going to see it, but instead went to watch another nerdy movie, albeit one that premiered months and months ago: The Lego Movie.

wyld v

Honestly, this film wasn’t even on my radar until, like, February when every geek I knew suddenly started gushing about it. I figure I’m too snarky of a person to properly gush, but I’ll admit, I thought it was pretty fantastic too.

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Coming Soon-Ish: Dean Koontz, Johnny Depp, and Vampires Teaching Sexual Abstinence

Odd Thomas

Well. This looks kind of like cheesy, shlocky fun. It doesn’t look very much like the book I vaguely remember reading about a decade ago, which is kind of unfortunate because I liked that book. But I also like Anton Yelchin and Willem Dafoe, and I enjoy some of Stephen Sommers’s work. If this is more The Mummy and less Van Helsing, it could be a good time.

Transcendence

I haven’t entirely made up my mind about this one.

On one hand, this has a pretty great cast. We’ve got Kata Mara, Morgan Freeman, Paul Bettany, Rebecca Hall, Cillian Murphy, and Johnny Depp — and it looks like Depp is actually acting again, which is really nice to see. Also this is the directorial debut of Wally Pfister, who’s been the director of photography for every single one of Christopher Nolan’s films. As such, the trailer looks great.

Story-wise, though, my interest is . . . so-so. I’d like to see more A.I. stories, but there’s something about the ‘dying man goes into the super computer and threatens humanity’ plot that just doesn’t strike me as very exciting or fresh. There’s hopefully more to it than that, and maybe I’ll become more interested with further trailers and/or rave reviews. Right now, though, the ‘It’s not evil! It’s SCIENCE!’ feel is making me a touch wary. (For that cast, though, I might get past it. Jarvis, Scarecrow, and Lucius Fox all in one movie? Consider me at least a little intrigued.)

Under the Skin

I continue to have no idea what this movie is about and remain surprisingly interested regardless, even though I know it’ll probably end in a bunch of artsy nonsense and confusion tears. Heh. Heir to Kubrick, indeed.

Still, I might try it anyway. I’ve really come around on Scarlett Johannson, and the visuals do look stunning. If nothing else, it might make for an entertaining and ranty review.

Tammy

This is one of the most painfully unfunny teasers I think I’ve ever seen . . . but . . . but . . . Melissa McCarthy, Susan Sarandon, Allison Janney, AND Kathy Bates, all in the same movie? Why? WHY? Why can’t this look GOOD?

Finally . . . Chastity Bites

Oh, I’m totally watching this when it comes out on DVD.

This just seems like a lot of fun, assuming you’re into teenage horror comedies and Allison  Scagliotti. And who doesn’t like Allison Scagliotti? (The correct answer is no one. Haters, don’t even bother commenting.) Not to mention Tinkerballa from The Guild and a cameo by Re-Animator director Stuart Gordon — the nerd force is strong with this one, my friends. Sign me up for some abstinence education and Elizabeth Bathory shenanigans, please.

“I Won’t Kill You, But I Don’t Have to Save You.”

Batman & Robin seemingly killed the franchise with just two words: Bat Nipples. But in 2005, Christopher Nolan managed to ressurect the dead.

While I have a couple of problems with it (I have a couple of problems with everything), it is easily a better film than its four predecessors—or five, if you’re including Adam West’s Batman. Almost anything’s better than that.

Except Batman & Robin, of course.

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