Tag Archives: Ohmygod Make The Music Stop Swelling

“Sweetheart, My Last Boyfriend was a Homicidal Lizard, So I Think I Can Handle a Werewolf.”

My obsessive coverage of Teen Wolf continues. . . . do you think I could list ‘TV Marathon Champion’ as some kind of marketable skill on a resume?

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“I Got Poetry In Me!”

Film critics all around the world love McCabe & Mrs. Miller. The late Roger Ebert went so far as to call the movie “perfect”. In fact, this movie has not only been selected for preservation in the United States National Film … Continue reading

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, SLIGHTLY LESS EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

“I’m Your Huckleberry.”

Oh, this movie. I watched Wyatt Earp a few years ago — I don’t even remember why — and I read Emma Bull’s Territory last year, so I figured I might as well add Tombstone to the list of westerns-to-watch this year. You … Continue reading

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“While You Were Still Learning How to Spell Your Name, I Was Being Trained to Conquer Galaxies!”

All right, folks. The Day of Reckoning has come. Some of you may remember that I failed last year’s horror film challenge and, as a result, invited you to choose my punishment movie. You chose Battlefield Earth because you’re horrible monsters, … Continue reading

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“Now, Somehow Our Sins Have Come Back Physically . . . And They’re Pissed.”

Before Joel Schumacher tried his best to kill the Batman franchise, he actually directed other movies as well. For instance . . . I like this one a lot — it has a certain nostalgia factor going for it, plus … Continue reading

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“Look, Dave, I Can See You’re Really Upset About This.”

Well. I finally did it. I watched 2001: A Space Odyssey. . . . I think I want two and half hours of my life back.

Posted in BLASPHEMIES, EPIC REVIEWS | Tagged , , , , , | 39 Comments

“I Was Never Very Good At Being Human”

This year, I’ve been doing epic reviews (i.e, ultra ridiculously long reviews, complete with summaries, random notes, and spoilers) on every new horror film that I’ve watched. However, tonight, I’m feeling lazy, and I’m skimping out a little. Therefore, you … Continue reading

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