Coming Soon-Ish: Mockingjays, Teen Wolves, Regency Zombies, and Kidnapping George Clooney

Hail Caesar

I don’t wholeheartedly adore the Coen Brothers the way that most film nerds do, but I’ve got to admit: this looks pretty delightful. And dude, the cast is ridiculous: when I glanced at IMDB, I recognized 14 out of the first 15 stars listed. We’re talking George Clooney, Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum, Josh Brolin, Tilda Swinton, Ralph Fiennes, Clancy Brown, and more. (The plot summary is also almost charmingly unhelpful: “A Hollywood fixer in the 1950’s works to keep the studio’s stars in line.” That is somewhat less specific than “George Clooney is kidnapped by The Future.”)

I’m definitely intrigued by this one. And it’s not just to watch Channing Tatum dance, either, although I’ve got to admit, that’s a pretty big plus, and this is coming from someone who hasn’t watched any of the Step Up OR Magic Mike movies.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Yay, it’s finally coming! I’ve been waiting for this one for a long while. I read the book when it first came out, enjoying it for the silly good time that it was, but this is definitely a story just screaming for a film adaptation. I mean, what’s not to love about mixing some Jane Austen with some zombie action? Plus, it’s got Matt Smith as Mr. Collins, Charles Dance as Mr. Bennett, and Lena Headey as Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

Now I just need Night of the Living Trekkies to become a movie, too.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay

I’d been avoiding trailers for this movie since almost clicking on one with supposed Big Time Spoilers — but I decided to check this one out, and I think I remain Spoiler Free, as the trailer is mostly just one big speech and a bunch of corresponding action shots. Although there are some totally creepy monster deals that I wasn’t at all expecting, since they look like they’d be more at home in a horror movie like The Descent than a blockbuster YA action franchise. Mind you, that’s not a complaint at all. Bring on the creepy monster deals!

I’m looking forward to watching this. I’ve seen all The Hunger Games movies in theater, and I’m trying to decide what the death toll will be. I’ll always remember talking for hours with Mekaela about who and how many of our favorite characters would die in The Return of the King, and actually being a little disappointed by the relatively low body count. It’s not that I wanted Pippin to die or anything, just, you know. Stakes. Price. All that jazz.

I guess I’ll find out this November. (Let it be Gale. Please let it be Gale.)

Ratchet and Clank

So, this looks cute. Very silly, very much like the video games. Actually, I’ve only played one of the them so far, but I found it pretty enjoyable — although Dr. Nefarious was easily the best character and, unfortunately, he’s not in this trailer very much.

Still. I could totally try this at some point. It seems like a good candidate for an  “I Feel Crappy, I Need Lighthearted Kids Fare” movie marathon. Also, it’s cool they got the original voice cast for the main players, while adding in other Hollywood actors (Rosario Dawson, John Goodman, Paul Giamatti, Armin Shimerman, etc.) for what I presume are supporting roles.

Teen Wolf

Well, this came out earlier than I was expecting. Season 5B returns in January, and for some reason I’d just assume I’d have to wait a little longer for any real footage . . . but I forgot about New York Comic Con. Bless you, New York Comic Con.

Despite a slightly uneven ending, I really enjoyed Season 5A, and this promo looks pretty great. On the downside, Deucalion appears to be back — which is actually probably for the best, considering the massively stupid way his storyline ended, but still, boo, Deucalion. On the upside, Papa Argent is also back, which is far, far more important. Also: Lydia’s continuing to have an especially lousy time at Eichen House, Stiles throws Scott to the ground in pretty spectacular fashion, and Kira continues to be a total badass.

I am pumped for January. Speaking of . . .

Person of Interest

Finally, I had to post this promo because it’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Well, for established fans anyway. I’m not sure the actor switcheroo would do much for anyone who’s just considering checking the series out, but for the rest of us die-hards . . . guys, it’s just delightful. I have re-watched this trailer a stupid amount of times. I will never get tired of seeing Michael Emerson and Amy Acker play Reese. Really, I could just watch that all day.

And the Great Horror Remake Shall Be . . .

Last week, I asked (and in some cases, begged) you to pick which classic horror movie you’d most like to see remade. It turned out to be a pretty tough battle, but in the end a victor arose.

saw

Quentin Tarantino remaking Saw!

Now I need to need cast this. Who are we thinking in the room — shall we stick to standard Tarantino regulars, like Christoph Waltz and Tim Roth, perhaps? And who should be Jigsaw? I mean, it has to be Samuel L. Jackson, right? Or would he be far too obvious? Well, that’s the problem remaking movies with a Big Twist: it’s kind of already ruined for you, unless you change the twist, of course. But the original had a pretty good one.

Coming in at a close second place: Guillermo del Toro remaking Suspiria. The bronze medal, meanwhile, must be split between Tarsem Singh’s take on A Nightmare on Elm Street and the Coen brothers’ take on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Total Loser Award is surprisingly given to no one because everybody got at least one vote, even Tim Burton and Wes Anderson, who I feared for the most.

Honestly, I could probably watch all of these remakes. David Lynch doing House of Wax would probably be my own personal least favorite, knowing that Lynch rides the line for me between Awesomely Disturbing and Unpleasantly Icky. If I personally had to pick one, though . . . yeah, it would probably be Wes Anderson doing I Know What You Did Last Summer. I doubt it would be the most successful of the proposed reboots (I suspect del Toro could do some pretty fabulous things with Suspiria) and would probably function best as a dark comedy instead of a true slasher . . . but man, I want to see it anyway. The whole idea of it just delights me to no end.

Well, that’s it for our annual Halloween-themed poll, everyone. As always, thanks for playing!

“And I Guess That Was Your Accomplice in the Wood Chipper.”

Sometimes, art deserves a second chance. Often, I’ll enjoy a film but won’t love it until I’ve seen it two or three times. Other times I’ll dislike a movie but change my mind if I give it another go. There are a lot of reasons this can happen, but in the spirit of not being an unforgiving, judgmental asshole all the time, I decided to finally institute Second Chance Tuesdays. (Occasionally. Let’s be clear about that: I prefer to spend the majority of my time watching movies I actually want to watch.) A couple of months ago, I did a poll for my first SCT movie. You guys voted, and one day before my self-imposed deadline, I have your review.

crime scene

I’m sorry to disappoint many of you, but I still feel pretty meh about Fargo.

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