Coming Soon-Ish: Ouija Boards, Twelve Monkeys, and Dudes With Horns

Horns

I actually own this book, but I haven’t quite gotten around to reading it yet, and I’m not sure it’s going to happen before I see this movie, despite how much I enjoy Joe Hill’s work. (Well, maybe. If I could just force myself to finish all my old books before I pick up new ones, but who am I kidding? That is absolutely never going to happen.)

I do plan to see this, although I’ll admit, there’s nothing in the teaser that particularly wows me. Maybe when I see a full-length trailer. All I really got from this one is that Juno Temple is blonde and dead, and Daniel Radcliffe’s American seems a bit on the shaky side. (I mean, it’s better than my English. But that’s saying absolutely nothing.)

Suburban Gothic

Okay, I’d never even heard of this movie before last night, but while watching the above teaser for Horns, I saw a trailer on the sidebar that boasted the acting talents of Matthew Gray Gubler, Kat Dennings, and Ray Wise. And I was like, Oh this, I need to see.

This looks spectacularly weird, and I already know I’m going to rent it at some point. Will it actually be good? Possibly not. But Matthew Gray Gubler and Kat Dennings join forces against paranormal forces? And IMDb is telling me that Jeffrey Combs is also involved? SOLD.

Young Ones

Oooh. This looks cool.

When I first heard about Young Ones a few days ago, somebody referred to it as ‘dystopian YA,’ which, well. They aren’t wrong. (At least about the YA part, though it lately seems like the definition of ‘dystopian’ is changing from ‘supposedly functional yet secretly deadly utopia’ to ‘sucky future.’) But that classification might make you think of The Hunger Games and Divergent and The Maze Runner and The Giver, and this really feels like something else entirely. (Not to put those movies down, as I’ve enjoyed the Hunger Games films so far and have every intention of watching The Maze Runner for Dylan O’Brien alone.)

Young Ones, however, appears to be a science fiction western with romance and violence and robots, and really, how do you beat that? Add in some very nice cinematography and a damn solid cast — Nicholas Hoult, Michael Shannon, Elle Fanning, Kodi Smit-McPhee — and color me officially intrigued.

Twelve Monkeys

So, I saw 12 Monkeys a gazillion years ago (with the ending already spoiled for me), and I can’t say I loved the film. Like, I don’t remember it very well, and I’d be willing to give it a second go, but other than the sheer amusement of watching Brad Pitt play crazypants, I’m apparently the rare bird who didn’t find the movie all that amazing or original.

When I found out that Syfy was developing a TV show based on the film, well, I couldn’t work up a whole lot of interest. But I checked out the trailer anyway, and I have to say, it doesn’t look too bad. I like a fair number of the main players, and the production quality looks pretty decent, at least for Syfy. I’m not sure if I’m going to check this out or not, but it’s at least a maybe now. Considering that it was a definite no yesterday, I’d say that’s at least a step up.

And finally . . . Ouija

Oh, I think I’ve found a contender for Bloody Hearts, 2015. This looks pretty hilariously bad. Obviously, I can’t wait to see it.

Also, Shelly Hennig, I’m officially adding you to my list of perfectly decent or even quite talented young actors from genre shows (in this case, Teen Wolf) who pop up in clearly terrible horror movies. I’m starting to think it’s like a required thing — oh, you’re in a show that features werewolves? Let’s find you the worst scary movie out there this year so you can die gruesomely in it.

Coming Soon-Ish: Joss Whedon, Cancer Romances, and Danish Westerns

In Your Eyes

Here at My Geek Blasphemy, we’re legally obligated to mention basically anything Joss Whedon has ever had a hand in, so I present to you this trailer for a quirky, telekinetic romantic dramedy written by Mr. Whedon and starring Zoe Kazan. I generally prefer that my romantic dramedies have a hefty dose of quirk, and a splash of telekinesis doesn’t hurt, either, although lines like, “The best thing, the only thing I like about me is you,” damage my very soul, and I can only hope the follow-up line is, “Well, grow some self-esteem, honey, because healthy relationships don’t spring from words like that.”

Also, I feel like if I developed a psychic connection that could, at any point, throw me across the room if the other person in said psychic connection were to get in a bar fight . . . well, I’d fly out to meet that person post-haste and try to figure this thing out, or at least tell them to knock that shit off. Cause that’s the kind of thing that can lead to food-splattered clothes and busted tailbones and really, would be awfully hard to explain to your loved ones, after a while.

Anna

Eh. Parts of this look creepy, and I like Mark Strong a lot, but this kind of story — where a guy who’s the shit at his job has to deal with a new case/client who makes him question everything he knows and might be evil or worse, supernaturally evil, or twist! not evil at all — yeah, it’s not my cup of tea. At all. Which is too bad because Strong actually appears to be playing a good guy for once, and that alone almost makes it worth watching. (Although I’m not entirely convinced. Depending on how the movie goes, Mark Strong could totally have been evil and crazy all along. Either way, I’m unlikely to see it.)

What We Do in the Shadows

This, on the other hand, I could probably watch. Brought to you by the people who made Flight of the Conchords and Eagle vs Shark, neither of which I’ve seen (yes, I know, revoke my film critic cred status, blah blah), this is a mockumentary vampire comedy, and the trailer made me smile. I will allow the continued existence of mockumentary and/or found footage style films if they continue to expand outside of the straight horror genre.

The Fault in Our Stars

I’ve been semi-interested in reading this book — especially lately, as I’m strangely drawn to the possibility of writing YA right now — but I honestly didn’t have much interest in seeing the movie because, you know. Cancer romance. SO not my genre of choice. (With 50/50 being the only exception I can think of, and let’s be honest here: that one starred JGL.) But I will admit to really liking this trailer, and I’d be willing to check it out.

You know, for as big of an It girl as Shailene Woodley is right now, I don’t think I’ve seen a damn thing with her in it. Clearly, I need to find The Secret Life of the American Teenager on Netflix.

And finally . . . The Salvation

Dude. It’s a Danish western starring Mads Mikkelsen, Eva Green, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Who wouldn’t want to watch it, right? Totally right.

“I’m Not Alone.”

My friend Rob got me Rio Bravo for Christmas because he’s an awesome kind of guy. Unfortunately, the year is running out, and I have one more western I absolutely have to watch first. (Because I made a list and said I’d stick to it, damn it — but don’t think I wasn’t tempted to throw this list out the window in favor of other movies — like the aforementioned Rio Bravo, for instance, or possibly Westworld. Oh, Westworld. Why didn’t anyone TELL me there was a robot western out there?)

The western I actually will be reviewing today?

django

I had fun with Django. Up until the last twenty minutes, anyway.

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“People Must Know That They’re Going to Die, and Yet They Live as Though They Never Will.”

I am definitely behind on my westerns. I need to catch up if I don’t want to subject myself to another horrifying experience like Battlefield Earth. Which I don’t. I really, really don’t.

So Mek and I watched The Good, the Bad, the Weird.

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I’ve been a little disappointed with the last few westerns on my list. Thankfully, that wasn’t my experience with this one at all.

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“I Don’t Believe in Surrenders.”

Sometimes, I just feel like I don’t agree with the AFI on anything.

searchers

The Searchers is one of the most well respected movies in the world. It is number one on AFI’s Best Westerns list. It is number twelve on their 100 Years, 100 Movies list. And John Wayne loved playing Ethan Edwards so much, he named one of his own children Ethan.

I thought it was . . . okay. Not my least favorite western of the year — I definitely liked it better than McCabe & Mrs. Miller — but it sure as hell wasn’t my favorite.

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“I Got Poetry In Me!”

Film critics all around the world love McCabe & Mrs. Miller. The late Roger Ebert went so far as to call the movie “perfect”. In fact, this movie has not only been selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry, it also sits easy at #8 on AFI’s Top Ten Best Westerns.

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It is, naturally, my least favorite western to-date.

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