“If We Survive the Night” – The Dark – March 2017
It’s autumn, and all the dead girls are kneeling in the yard.
“Every Day is the Full Moon” – Lightspeed – December 2016
Your father is a werewolf, but mostly he’s just an asshole.
“The Elixir of the Not-So-Disgusting Death Smell” – Mothership Zeta – January 2016
My boyfriend Brandon had been dead two days. He smelled like he’d been embalmed in lavender.
“The Long and Silent Ever After” – The Book Smugglers – December 2015
Nothing good came of being conscious this early in the morning, but eating jelly donuts in the stiff house was a special sort of low.
“The Price You Pay is Red” – The Book Smugglers – November 2015
Made her sound beautiful, and hell, she probably had been. But the dead don’t look nothing but dead.
“The Case of the Little Bloody Slipper” – The Book Smugglers – November 2015
It was half past eleven when I saw her. She was standing at the top of the staircase, with restless fingers and defiant eyes, wrapped in blue silk that clung to her hips. Her legs went on, and on, and on.
“Break the Face in the Jar by the Door” – The Unlikely Journal of Coulrophobia – April 2015
Ask yourself: what would your face say, if you let it?
“Caretaker” – Shimmer – November 2014
The stars are all dead.
“Such Lovely Teeth, Such Big Teeth” – Strange Horizons – March 2014
The wolf moves like a man, talks like a man, picks up the paper in his boxers and drinks coffee like a man. But Reagan isn’t fooled.
“We Share the Dark” – Shock Totem – January 2014
When the ghost sat beside me, I was sitting on the porch, considering suicide the same idle way people think about where they’d go on vacation, if they could afford to.
“This Villain You Must Create” – Lightspeed – July 2013
Granite killed Mr. Malevolence on a Tuesday. In his defense, Mr. Malevolence had been trying to destroy the entire world at the time.
Narrated by Adam Pracht in StarShipSofa, No. 325
“Expiration Date” – Weird Tales – August 2011 (video)
The doctor said you expired at 11:55.
“Trope Anatomy 101: Choose Your Own Family” – The Book Smugglers – December 2016
The idea is that family–like Christmas or really any holiday–can mean different things to different people at different times, and it’s okay if yours changes, if you have a new one you built yourself, or even if you have more than one.
“Trope Anatomy 101: The Girls Who Deserve to Die” – The Book Smugglers – October 2016
I aim to see what sorts of tales might have been told, had our dead girls lived to tell them.
“Trope Anatomy 101: Team No One” – The Book Smugglers – August – 2016
Ideally, we shouldn’t vote for a romance the way we vote for political elections. I want to care about two people coming together because I think they work together, not because one is sorta okay, or the lesser of two evils.
“Trope Anatomy 101: Your Body Is Not Your Confession” – The Book Smugglers – July 2016
The entire joke centers on the presumption that nobody could want anyone so huge, which is also a message that will stick with you, especially after you hear it time and again.
“Trope Anatomy 101: Waving Away Disability and Chronic Conditions in Fiction” – The Book Smugglers – May 2016
At the end of this adventure, after our child hero has kissed a girl and given an inspiring speech and talked to a skeleton and escaped the jaws of death, the boy stands on a beach, looks at his brother making out with a pretty girl, and dismissively tosses his meds behind him, saying, “Oh, who needs it?”
Bullshit, right? That’s unequivocal bullshit.
“Trope Anatomy 101: Beyond the Standard Heroic Range – The Book Smugglers – April 2016
And that’s when I saw something that surprised me even more than an evil gorilla with mental superpowers: the police detective in question, Joe West, showed abject and unrestrained terror in the face of his worst fears.
“Trope Anatomy 101: Reader, I Didn’t Marry Him – I Kicked His Jerk Ass to the Curb” – The Book Smugglers – February 2016
I figured the best plan was to pick a romance that was also a murder mystery set in the future.
And maybe that plan would have been successful, if I hadn’t hated the love interest with the power of a thousand suns.
“Trope Anatomy 101: Learn to Love Your Mary Sue” – The Book Smugglers – January 2016
And the best thing about it was that I already knew what trope I wanted to hit first: Mary Sues, because there’s such a weird stigma against them, despite the fact that, like flag burning or the California condor, I rarely actually come across an instance of one in the wild.
“Horror Movies – Moving Past The Final Girl” – The Book Smugglers – October 2015
The mystery, if there is one at all, always centers on the identity of the killer. It never centers on the identity of the survivors.
“OB/GYN” – Gargoyle 58 – June 2012
She says, “We’ve already been dead once. Do you want to surrender to death again?”
“The Kiss” – Gargoyle 58 – June 2012
Curious, how people expect a wandering necrophiliac to be a hero.
“V” – PANK – August 2011
This is not a secret.
“Why Princess Leia Was Never a Jedi, No Matter What the Fanfiction Says” – Gargoyle, Volume 57 – July 2011
Of course what self respecting woman would fight the Dark Side with a glowing phallus?
“Brains” – Gargoyle, Volume 56 – July 2010
I want to talk about zombies now. Is that OK?